To dislike people commenting on what you are buying?

[Paddingtonscare]

Im aware this might be an anxiety/ autism thing about being perceived but I really hate it!

I work in a town center with multiple shops around me, and I have a bit of a routine around buying certain items/ food. Its not everyday or a set day but probably once or twice a week.

First a shop worker basically said "oh you are always buying these", and i found it awkward but changed shop when she said something else similar.

Then a shop worker in shop 2 said "oh you are late today" so I decided to go to a chain shop for a bit more anonymity

Then shop 3 today asked me about why I had different items to usual

Ironically all three shops were commenting about different items!

Would this put other people off? Or is this a normal part of going once a week to a shop?

You have to be a little bit of a wanker to comment on what someone else is buying though, don’t you?

What is it to anyone if I was buying them for someone with a dementia, or my personal kink of shoving a thousand custard creams up my arse on a Friday night?

There’s no need to comment, or even be bothered by what anyone else chooses to buy?

I am not diagnosed as autistic. I have OCD and a lot of anxiety around social interactions and food.
I went to a college for people with disabilities. A lot of the other students had autism/ ocd/ social anxiety. There was a local shop where a lot of used to buy lunch etc. The women on the deli were constantly pointing out that so many of us had the same thing every day and a lot of us had restricted diets and only ate particular foods. That and coming in at precisely the same time.
It was excruciating having this pointed out every day for me. I’m deeply ashamed of my rituals and I find it very humiliating when people call attention to it. One day I was in the queue when one of the women commented on it yet again and one of the students who had no filter said “it’s because we all have autism, get over it!”
They actually stopped commenting after that and it was a massive relief.

I wouldn’t like this tbh but it’s part of the reason I like living where I live as it’s quite an anonymous sort of place.

I completely get you, I absolutely hate shopping with my mum, she watches everything and comments. I was also the same growing up, if I wanted a snack out of the kitchen or make my own dinner, I’d wait until no one was around and then make a run and grab because even someone asking me what I’m eating really annoys me, at work I eat at my desk to not loose time and I hate anyone commenting on my food

"You have to be a little bit of a wanker to comment on what someone else is buying though, don’t you?" erm, no. Some of us like human interaction. Suppose you'd hate to go to a café or bar and have a "regular" order, too. Not me, I like it, and I like that the lady in the shop opposite my work knows my name, that if I buy lucozade I've had a late night, and I like knowing that her son is starting uni in September.
If you can't deal with speaking to people when shopping perhaps use self service or get shopping delivered to your house. Hopefully by an unfriendly delivery driver.

Image, when it loads, is from an interview with Kurt Vonnegut about a time he told his wife he was going to the shop to buy a stamp.

I ordered a newly published book for my son when he started University,
from a proper posh bookshop, waited a couple of weeks, went to collect,
the woman on the desk picked it up, said, “O yes I read the review of this
looks interesting” then not only opened it but bent the spine and ran her
hand down the page, in one movement, flicked through the pages.

I asked her if she found it interesting, yes? in which case have it
and left the shop, went to Blackwells for a virgin copy.

Charity Shop assistants, who are point of sale cannot resist comments,
often describing what I could wear whatever it is, with, as
though I couldn’t possibly know - they cannot resist, it’s tiresome.
One such person last week advising on portion control,
offered to help me look for diet books, because a blouse I tried on,
was too small.

Smile and nod, OP, they mean no harm and if they didn’t like you they
wouldn’t bother saying anything, just sling your shopping along the belt,
take your money, Next!

There are many ways to start a conversation without being a dick about what someone else is buying.

Think, “oh, I love those biscuits, I must get some next time!” Rather than, “wow, you really going to eat all of them!”

I’ve had this and I hate it.

Intrusive?! It's bloody sandwich ingredients they're not asking you when you last had a wank or what you think happens when you die 😂

I love it. Shows personalisation and client centricity

I would hate this too. It would make me want to find somewhere with self check outs and that's a shame cos I don't really want cashiers out of jobs but then again I absolutely wouldn't want someone noticing and commenting on how often I buy stuff!

Stick to chit chat about the weather, or what you fancy for dinner maybe?

I also don't think people should be trained to make chit chat to every single customer regardless of whether they show any signs of wanting chit chat.

I couldn’t care less what they’re saying, they’re probably bored and just trying to make conversation.. I just nod and wish them a nice day.

Do you work in retail, perchance?

I work in a convenience store and honestly while there are plenty of customers that are so regular as clockwork that not only can you predict what they’re gonna buy, you also worry when you haven’t seem them- mostly elderly. I would never dream of commenting to them about it- it’s none of my fucking business.

They’re probably being told to make conversation with customers.

I’d be impressed is a cashier knew what I usually buy, that’s a great memory.

If it bothers you, it bothers you but I don’t think it’s that deep. Just make non-commital noises and don’t ask any questions.

This annoys me too. There is a small supermarket near where I live and I regularly buy stuff like drinks,milk, toilet rolls etc from there. A few months ago I bought a pack of 4 toilet rolls and the girl on the till commented that I'd only bought a pack the day before. I felt like saying 'And? So what?'. On another occasion when I bought a packet of sandwiches,the girl remarked 'Having a break from cooking tonight then?'. Really bugs me! There's making conversation and there's making remarks that feel like a criticism. Make small talk by all means but keep your thoughts about what I'm buying to yourself!

This freaks me out too. I wouldn’t do it to others and it’s just so creepy that they are keeping tabs on you.

I remember when this forced conversation came in and I absolutely hated it. I've learnt to put up with it because I know the shop assistants are required to do it as part of their job, but it doesn't cease to annoy me that they comment on particular things I've bought and I'm supposed to explain what I plan to do with 12 tins of peaches or whatever. I'm psyching myself up to a Tesco delivery tomorrow. I stall the delivery men by asking if it's their last drop or something, but you still get the odd one who wants to know why I'm buying so multiples of dry goods. They probably see me as a mad old hoarder. I still get really embarrassed about going to the same shop with the same order, e.g. the butcher's, especially as my orders are tiny because I can't afford much.

Heaven forbid we have any human interaction hey?!

In response to you're always buying this...I'd have just laughed and said yeah I should buy shares in them!

You are overthinking all this.

Yeah but that poster was talking about when she was buying big baskets just full of biscuits. So I the comments were probably not neutral.

I think it would irritate me and I usually get the same things for lunch but I'd ignore so that I can get what I want 😀

YANBU @Paddingtonscare

It annoys the shit out of me. Just put my stuff through and mind your own!

I used to go to a shop that sold cakes and pastries (similar to Greggs) some 10 years ago, and I had a particular favourite cake that I bought every time - 2 to 3 times a week. (On my work lunchbreak...) One woman in there was serving every single time I went in, and she ALWAYS said 'ooooh here she is, toddling in for her big iced belgian bun.. You like them don't you?' I said 'er yeah, I wouldn't buy them otherwise.'

She said 'you'll be looking like a belgian bun you will.' 😆 She said this every every other time I bought it. REALLY LOUDLY!

I was like and

It really pissed me off. I know if I had complained about her though, I would have been THAT woman who complained about Julie, for 'just being friendly...' I would have been labelled as a 'certain womans name!' So after the 25th time she had said it, I stopped going. I had to sacrifice my belgian bun as there wasn't anywhere else that sold any that were so nice and succulent, but I couldn't stand her constant commenting.

I have a number of similar tales about me - and DH - who experienced someone who always had to make fucking comments every time we bought something, but I'd be here all day.

I don't give a SHIT if they are 'just being friendly,' I don't want them commenting every bloody time! #SORRYNOTSORRY! I am not apologising, and I am not explaining myself, or responding to the tiresome 'oh no, human interaction alert' and 'LOL!!! I bet never you answer the door or pick up the phone!' type drivel! (And I am not listening to any excuses as to why the 'always gotta say something' people might be like this!)

.

Bored shop workers just trying to initiate a conversation to make their day more pleasant and go quicker, I'd guess. That's all. Maybe try chatting to them.

YANBU and it's nothing to do with autism. I don't mind the odd "Oh that looks nice". Although I have to stop myself replying: I know - that's why I'm buying it. And in book shops where the assistant can recommend other similar texts it's sometimes alright (not reading the whole thing and bending the spine like a PP had). Any indepth comments or judgements that show the assistant has spent actual time thinking about you and your shopping are rude.
I might have mentioned this before on here but when I was buying a pregnancy test from Sainsbury's years ago, the assistant started waving it around saying "What do you reckon? Are you? Aren't you?" I was stunned into silence and just stared at her until she put it down and scanned the rest of my shopping.

Its when you buy some snacks for yourself and they say ooh are you having a party?