My partner, of many years, has recently started playing a sport, he was part of a large local Whatsapp group who messaged and whoever was available went, but has ended up going regularly with only with 3 people, a local couple and the woman’s sister. The local couple own a bar in town that he frequents regularly, but not with me.
He recently hurt his leg and so cannot play. Yesterday, I saw messages on his phone to the other woman.
They were not in the group WhatsApp, but directly to her and he had put them in archive. She was saying how sorry she was he couldn’t play at the moment and asking how he was. He replied to say he was gutted he couldn’t partner her and gutted to see someone had taken his place.
She replied to say “He won’t replace you, don’t worry”.
She then said “You’re getting old” and he replied, “Not at all, I still think I’m 20”. (He is 60). She said “Me too! I’m 35 forever,” (Think she is at least 45) and he replied, “You know what they say, you’re as young as the woman you’re feeling, so that makes me 35!” (I’m 53 so he didn’t mean me!)
She just replied with a laughing emoji.
Now, do I take this to mean he is feeling her?? Am sure if I ask him, he will just say it’s banter, but I think this so disrespectful to talk to another woman , who is single, in this way, when he has a long term partner. The other couple know me quite well and I also know the sister, but not well.
I never usually look at his phone, and he is quite possessive of it, but he was using it yesterday with an app so it had been left open. I haven’t mentioned what I’ve seen as I wonder whether I need to give him some more rope to hang himself with. I was thinking to leave it a few days and then tell him what I’ve seen and ask him if he is happy to show me his phone to see if there any further messages.
What would you do??