Only to avoid drip feeding, ExHB was controlling and abusive but not physically and never to DD, I suppose he is a good dad in the sense that DD (now 11) adores him and when we were married he always had time for her if she wanted to play etc, he’s very good with kids and it would never have been an option to not have 50/50 custody.
He has a new partner, they live together and DD refers to her as stepmom but that’s not really relevant, because I don’t think she should be in charge of everything for a child that’s not hers.
I am getting so sick of him not being able to cope with the life admin of being a father. Because of our relationship and how things were/are he doesn’t communicate with me unless he absolutely has to, so I can’t speak to him about it, or if I do I won’t get a response.
Recent examples;
- I’ve had to buy more necessities than needed, because if she goes to his house in a school cardigan for example, and then the next time she’s with me it’s mufti, the cardigan never comes back and she doesn’t have one. This happens with trainers, pyjamas, vests.
- She has a hobby that’s quite expensive, I have clothes for it that just live here, but the equipment (sorry being cryptic to not out myself) needs to go between houses because it’s too expensive to buy duplicates, this weekend he forgot some of it, DD tried to call him and he was out, I had to pay to hire it at the venue.
- DD has an end of year trip at school, the paper letter went to his house, if I get letters I send a photo to him but with him I have to hear about it from DD, messaged him asking about it and got a response saying he’d sort it (relief for me that I don’t need to pay for it tbh, and he earns a shit ton more than me), he missed the deadline for sending the letter back, I had to ask the school when the deadline was, apologise, calm down DD and then tell him to please do it today.
Does it ever get any easier?! 😩