AIBU to think working from home with chickenpox child is unfair?

[Wfhsucks]

So I called work this morning as my 5 year old son has chicken pox and they advised for
me to still work (from home) I am really struggling juggling everything and I don’t think it is fair as I couldn’t take him into the office and be expected to work?

Are you saying you asked to take a day of emergency unpaid leave, or some last minute annual leave and they refused? And said you had to work? Or do you just mean you rang to tell them and they said “ok no worries, you can wfh”?

Because the latter sounds like them trying to be nice, so you don’t lose a day’s pay or a day of annual leave.

Tbh as a one off, I actually don’t think wfh with a child is that disruptive. If mine have been ill, they’re happy to just be allowed to flop in front of the tv for much longer than I’d normally allow. Which is probably what I’d do if they were ill and I wasn’t working - duvet on sofa, let them rest.

So just tell them you are struggling to work as your child is requiring more attention than your employer thought they might and take the day off in whatever form your company allows.

What's your problem? Your employer must have given you this option realising you might not be quite as attentive with your work today, I think they have been kind. I don't understand your problem?

"Take leave then" is the new cancel the cheque

Did you actually say you couldn't work or wait for them to suggest it ?

So take it as leave. Are they not allowing you to take leave? I’m genuinely confused as to what you think the solution is? Sounds like they’re trying to offer you flexibility to avoid having to use your leave but surely it’s up to you.

What were you hoping/expecting them to offer you?
A short notice day of annual leave? A day of unpaid leave? Something else?
Without knowing what you were expecting, on the face of it they are being very reasonable by offering a WFH day.

I think people are a bit baffled as you’ve not said what you think should have been said on the call

I’d prefer this though. I usually carry on WFH when I have a sick child, as do colleagues. That’s preferable to me to having to take time off (especially if it’s unpaid!) that I would rather keep for when really needed. It seems like a good compromise.

If you really can’t do any work then you’ll just have to take the day off however they allow, but I’ve never had an issue being productive with a sick kid sleeping/watching TV on sofa.

It sounds like your employers are being generous and understanding, and you are being a bit of a dick.

Most working parents would jump at the opportunity to juggle. Because most cases of chicken pox need a dose of Calpol every 4 hours, a gel-based cream applying, plenty of fluids and rest in front of the TV. You can work around that. The 'demands' of the care can be absorbed by working through your lunch, or doing a bit more once a partner is home or your child has gone to bed.

But if your poor little one is really struggling, why haven't you just asked to take emergency holiday/unpaid parental leave?

So did you want to take unpaid leave or annual leave and they said that you had to work?

You aren't answering the main question.

Sounds like they value you and trust you to work effectively with a child at home as well. Not that they are forcing you. I agree with others it sounds like they are trying to do you a favour by giving you options and you've weirdly decided to take offence at it.

Why?

Clearly someone in your situation can't work as usual, so the choices are either you not going in and not working, or you looking after him at home and doing what work you can. It's easy to conceive of situations where an employer might place more value on the employee's labour than on saving a day's wages. The employer is likely the person best qualified to make that assessment.

Or are the posters who reckon you're angling for time off on full pay correct?

Take unpaid leave then.

My workplace wouldn’t expect me to go into the office with a cold, but they will happily allow me to work from home with one. That’s because I’m okay to work, but contagious to others. You are not unwell yourself, but your son is contagious so you cannot take him to the office.

If your son is so unwell that you are unable to work, speak up and tell them. They probably think they’re doing you a favour by being flexible and allowing you not to lose a day’s pay or using your annual leave up.

I’ve managed to work from home with both of my children through chickenpox, hand foot and mouth, and other viruses. A movie on in the background, I pop myself on the sofa whilst they’re cuddled up at the opposite end with a blanket.

My boss is totally understanding and knows I may need to take more breaks than usual through the day whilst seeing to the children, but if I need to make time up for that, I will do so when my partner returns home from work.

I can’t believe you’re complaining about your workplace being flexible around your childcare needs.

I don't follow. Surely you wouldn't be taking your child into the office at all, sick or well?

Take some kind of leave then , I really can’t see what your issue is as it seems to me that your employer is trying to help you . I also can’t see what juggling there is with a 5 yo , even with chickenpox they can entertain themselves for an hour at a time whilst you work , quick check on them snack / drink , back to work .

Decline and take annual leave or unpaid dependents leave then? I don’t see the problem and wfh full time

So did you have an adult professional conversation with your line manager where you explained these things and asked for emergency leave?

Good God, take the day/week unpaid then whilst you have your child home for a week to recover then. Or waste your annual leave now and struggle when the school holidays arrive.

It’s people like you that are the reason working parents, particularly women of childbearing age, face discrimination when applying for jobs because employers know it’s a risk that there may be a hassle working around childcare needs.

They’re allowing you to work, and not miss out financially because of your child’s illness. If you’re not happy with that, take unpaid leave. It sounds like you’re after a paid leave break, which feeds into my point above about employers not wanting the risk.

Why?

A 5 YO isn't a toddler that needs watching every minute of the day in case they stick a knife in a plug socket or run around screaming while you're on a call.

A 5 YO is likely to be fine dozing quietly in front of cartoons for a couple of hours or more at a time and will be able to understand if you tell them you're working so not to disturb you, but you'll make them a drink in an hour or two.

If you need to take time out, you could catch up in the evening after they've gone to bed, but otherwise, as a one off, it seems to be the best solution all around. It's not like it's a long term plan where you'll always be looking after them and working at the same time, which I agree isn't ideal, but while they're at home with chicken pox, it's a good solution.

Its unclear what your aim was here? Your employer is probably thinking you may be off several days I would rather have the option to work from home than be off unpaid you won't be going out anyway. I am a single parent and get 1 dependent day a year beyond that I don't get paid if my child is unwell

So surely in that case you just request unpaid leave?

Oh sweet lord - can you not see that your work is doing you a favour and working with you ? they are allowing you to stay at home get paid instead of taking unpaid of very preciouses annual leave - They know full well that you wont be as productive as normal but allowing you to do enough to cover your work so it doesn't slip too far behind. This is a good employee who trusts you. Sit your son on the sofa put on a film , then have laptop beside you so you can tip away on stuff you can do. Your workplace sounds amazing so may out there dont have this - Stop complaining

I thought most companies' policy was that you can't be considered to be able to work if there's a child at home?
But I think a bit of flexibility and common sense would go a long way here. If he's ill in the sense of largely asleep, and you just need to get him food and drinks and check on him every now and then, you can concentrate enough to work, can't you?(although admittedly I don't know what you do).
If he's awake, distressed, needs you most of the time, then I think I'd tell them you're taking the day off (as whatever your company allows: sick leave, dependant leave...)

If they are aware that you're going to be relatively unproductive compared with your usual performance and are happy to pay you for the full day anyway is that possibly better than having to take it from your annual leave entitlement or as an unpaid day off? DC being largely babysat by the TV while they're ill is not the end of the world. There's not much you can do with them when they have chicken pox anyway.

They usually don’t as a regular arrangement

My DH company make all parents of under 5s who WFH show proof of arranged childcare after a few pisstakers.

But as your child is temporarily sick, not so sick he needs round the clock attention and of an age he can watch tv or play with toys, your employer would rather have you working with a slight understandable dip in productivity than absent for several days at no notice