Pretty Woman Moment

[JuliaRobHurts]

DH and I were at a homebuilding and renovation show yesterday as we're in the middle of an extension project. Specifically we 're on the hunt for a new front door and while looking around one of the vendors we had a "pretty women" moment.

We had a look at the various products on show before trying to get the attention of one of the representatives who appeared to be avoiding our gaze. Eventually she approached and I said 'hi, we're interested in bespoke front doors and quite like this one on show'.

Without asking our budget or any of our requirements she went into a spiel about how the doors were very expensive, how they were imported from Lithuania and the import charge was also expensive, all the while wincing as she was saying it. She then said we might be better off with a more mass manufactured door. I was absolutely stunned at her condescending tone. She hadn't asked a single question about what we were looking for.

I was so close to confronting her about her approach, but held back. DH calmly told her her sales pitch needs some work and we walked away, but I was fuming. We were both dressed smart/casually so the only thing I can think is she guaged our age (late thirties) and made an assumption we couldn't afford it (even though we can).

WWYD in that situation? I'm half inclined to email the company and provide feedback on our experience but I also don't know if it's worth the energy.

Would love to hear if anyone that's had a similar experience but DID confront the rude person as I'm still annoyed I didn't give her a piece of my mind.

I remember (multimillionaire) Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter) telling the story of him waiting outside a shop for his partner with his friends dog. It was freezing in New York and he was wrapped up with a hat and scarf. Some kind soul insisted on giving him money for a hot drink. 😄

if it were for trade only she should have said so not be rude

you need to buy a fancy door and walk past them with it

But you just left her thinking you'd gone to B&M! She'll just think she was right.

Haha yeah I remember him telling Graham Norton that story.

Instead of a Pretty Woman moment it needs to be more Crocodile Dundee. "That's not a knife.....THAT'S a knife" type of vibe.

Exactly, a lot of these flounces don't hit the way people hope. Ideally the customer would stand up for themselves first, before withdrawing their custom.

i worked for a while as a sales assistant in Harvey Nicks (Knightsbridge branch) back in the 1980s. We were told in training not to judge a customer by their outfits - that quite wealthy people can dressed quite shabby as they don’t have anything to prove and especially if up from their country homes. Sure enough that frumpy middle aged woman would walk in buy a couple expensive evening dresses as often as one that might be scrutinising the price tags on the sales rack (and why not). But it was obviously something that happened often enough that they felt it needed telling to us eager but inexperienced salespeople. By the way we had our bags checked thoroughly every end of shift…

Haha! I think I must've been quite embarrassed tbh! This was when I was about 21. But yeah filet o fish it was. Right sorted me out! Especially as the night flight never gives a proper meal. Only pastry and yoghurt for breakfast. 😄

And then return to snooty shop with a bag from the most expensive shop they could find!

I've had the estate agent experience. I'd been doing a horse thing in a lovely area and saw exactly what my partner and I wanted in an estate agents window. I guess I looked scruffy and covered in horse hair... DP was in the States at the time so I wanted to get us an appointment to view as soon as his feet touched UK soil!
The estate agent refused to book a viewing. Kept on about needing to see that we were ready to proceed. I explained there was no chain, no property to sell, it would be a 'cash purchase'. Proof of funds could be provided when DP was back. I told her who DP is, but I think she thought I was lying. She wasn't having any and I had to give up.
DP and I dashed to the village as soon as he got home. Stopped in the local pub for lunch, where DP got recognised by the landlord and got chatting. Landlord rang the couple who owned the house. We went to see it. Sold.
I am sure the estate agent knows who brought it. What a loss of commission that was.

That's outrageous! The effing cheek!

I’ve had a fair few moments like this.

One time I went to a fairly high end accessories store to pick up a bespoke handbag for my mother. I was a very young mother so I know how it looked for many people. The woman was incredibly rude, refused to look it up and chucked the invoice book at me across the counter to “look it up if you want to”.
I left, called my mother explaining what happened and when I went back she was way, way nicer. Very sad, really.

I’ll never understand why this happens in retail. We all know you’re not exactly making a killing nor do you (probably) own the store, where’s this high and mighty attitude coming from?

https://theface.com/culture/pretty-woman-j-f-lawton-history-shopping-rodeo-drive-scene

We had it buying an expensive car in our 20s. A relative was buying it for us and wanted us to have a particular make. We both looked young for our age I guess and had a toddler in tow. Anyway, we went elsewhere and probably bought about 5 expensive cars over the next decade from the dealership that didn't talk to us like we were something they trod in

Please elaborate

I’m glad if he lost his commission but wouldn’t he have got commission anyway because you saw the house advertised in his estate agent window?

p.s. give us a clue who your DH is

We had similar with a bathroom company. We had them out to measure up, made an appointment to see the plans, and they hadn't bothered doing them, as they felt it would be an expensive job!
We spent 11 grand with someone else

The business world is in the toilet are there really all these sales people being shitty? I think some people are a bit paranoid

No sales person is going to risk their job by being snotty to customers

I got accosted by a man in waitrose, I had a christmas bonus and had bought and paid for a bunch of nice items that I was carefully putting into the foodbank collection. He scurried up to me shouting that I should not be taking things out for myself and that I was a disgrace.
I said loudly that i was putting things in, named them, told him he could check if he likes and asked what he had put in. Which was nothing.
He huffed off and left his poor wife to apologise for him.
I was wearing socks and sliders and a tatty coat that looked like it had come out of a bin to be fair.. as ai had just been for a run in the mud and chucked on what was in the car to go into waitrose.

I was dreamily reading this thread, having recently rewatched pretty woman, when I realized I actually have had the Pretty Woman moment myself. About 40 years ago when I was university age. I come from an academic family and basically never had a dress or any particularly nice clothes. Just not the New England style. Then my father won a Nobel and my mother and I went to New York to look for dresses. We must have looked impossible and we did not understand the rules of designer dresses—I only later read Mrs ‘Arris Goes to Paris. So because we didn’t know you had to have an appointment with the shop we kept getting turned away. However my tutor at University was a very skilled New Yorker snd she had given me a lecture on style wand what we were going for (European Formal not American…etc…etc…).

We were in some top shop and the saleswoman was standing ignoring us at the fitting room and she reluctantly asked if she could help me. I (superbly, ridiculously) repeated my tutor’s lecture “ My father has just won the Nobel in Chemistry and we are looking for…” Her eyes lit up.

Actually she had been waiting for a customer who stood her up and she was terribly nice in the rnd. She sold us some gorgeous dresses and kept referring to me (dressed in jeans snd army boots) as “baby” —and what would baby like? Baby must try this.

Similar things have happened to me and DH. Upmarket home shop in Glasgow’s west end, assumed we couldn’t afford anything, couple of high end clothing places… we both grew up poor but we’re not poor now. I think we dress pretty smart, I get a lot of compliments at work about my outfits. Do we just have poor people face? Is it the accents? I guess we will never know.

When it’s just a standard lack of service (shop assistants ignoring us, not being friendly ect.) we just leave it. Their loss. In your situation I would say that crosses the line to rude though and I would be inclined to have a moan over email. We once got 10% off from moaning.

I had similar when I was getting some new tyres. Chose the most expensive because I think tyre safety is important and I wanted them to last. He said "Hadn't you better ask your dad first?"

Firstly, I'm a 35 year old woman who is perfectly capable of paying for her own tyres, and the expensive car I was driving at the time. This is not a brag, it's just one of the things I like to spend my money on, we don't really do holidays abroad so we like nice cars instead.

Secondly... the man sitting in the car was my flipping partner! (Who had his OWN car and didn't make any decisions involving mine!) AND he was hugely offended by being told he looked old enough to be my dad!

I said that's really rude, I was going to buy 4 top of the range tyres from you today, but now I'm going to the other place (their competitor).

He actually followed me back to the car saying he was sorry, he was only joking (because sexism is super funny don't you know?) and he really needed the commission, and could do me a small discount to make up for his error of judgement.

He didn't get it :).

I have an opposite estate agent one. My parents were looking to buy a new house, but just didn't have the time to schlep round the estate agents (it was pre-internet). So I offered to go round for them. I was about 25, I went into town to go swimming, and after swimming, still with slightly damp hair, no make up because I never wear any, and jeans and a T shirt I went round all the estate agents that covered the top 25% price range of houses in the area, and collected lots of brochures and put my parents details on the books of all the relevant agents. And no-one blinked an eyelid. They were just nice to me. Not overly nice, just normal. And my parents did end up buying a house through one of them.

These days GDPR would mean I don't think I could do it anyway!

Had this twice at a local branded car dealer. Twice we went in there (3 years apart) to buy new cars. First time for my partner who went elsewhere and a different brand then it was my turn. Ignored, both times, presumed because my partner and I are slightly alternative scruffy buggers. Left a review online, manager apologised.

People will always judge by appearance.