Will Try to keep this short.
I have a brother, 18 months younger than me. We've never been particularly close, although we went through some difficult times as children due to my mum and her partner. I am a single mum to two boys, one has additional needs. My brother has just moved much closer, about an hour from us, 30 minutes from mum. He is with his girlfriend, she is 30+ weeks pregnant (and they've moved about 5 hour drive from her parents) they have a 1 year old. Neither of them work, my brother describes himself as mid life retired, but really, they are just claiming benefits. He used to work in frontline healthcare, but his ex gf accused him of sexual assault, he didn't have charges brought against him but the regulatory body have not allowed him to continue his membership. This is what I've been told. He is rude, obnoxious, self righteous and arrogant. He constantly swears in front of my children after I repeatedly tell him to stop, he's called me fat to my children. My children and I were homeless a few years ago after my LL told me she was selling our home of a decade, my Granny gave me money for a 5% deposit to allow me to buy a home. My brother called me at the time to explain to me that i would be arrested in front of my children for extortion. We have both tried a couple of times since hes moved to meet with out families, but I find him difficult. We are very different.
Anyway, my Granny who I am close to and look after alongside my mum, was admitted to hospital a few days ago, I'd spent all afternoon with her on Friday and stayed with her during internal/external ultrasounds. My brother told me he didnt like her stats (he hadn't visited) and that she could have sepsis and might die. He told me that several times. I was meeting my mum at the hospital yesterday, she knew my brothers comments had upset me. She told me when I arrived that my brother and his family were right behind me. I was very annoyed as I would have appreciated being told so I could have visited later. My brother walked in and I couldn't look at him, I really didn't want to be around him. We went down to get coffee and I could feel myself getting more and more upset and on edge. He allowed my mum to buy him and his gf food and drink. I didn't say hello to his 1 year old, which isn't like me but I was really struggling with their presence. My mum knew I would have wanted to visit later and she decided not to tell me. My mum historically does not consider my feelings, she is also quite an absent grandmother. My brother said aloud that he didn't appreciate my behaviour towards his son by not acknowledging him and that I was a disappointment. I got up and left, today he sent me a message that sounded like Ai, I read the first two lines and deleted it.
Was I BU? My Nanna was much better yesterday.