To think that there are no well paid family friendly careers?

[Careerhelppp]

I’m currently a SAHM to young children. Whilst my children are still young, I’d like to start preparing to return to the workplace in a few years time.

I previously worked in PR in London and have now moved over 300 miles away! The majority of PR is in London so it’s not really feasible for me to return to this. The area I was in was also the opposite of family friendly so it just wouldn’t have worked anyway.

DH is a high earner and there is no need for me to return to work. However I’ve started feeling like I’m just letting all of my potential and independence fade away and that I need to have a plan about getting a career back. The difficult part is that DH’s career completely dominates everything. He works away a lot and at short notice so I’d have to work around this. This is non-negotiable - DH couldn’t not do this and if he moved to a different role, we’d be taking a huge pay cut (probably over double what I’d ever realistically earn).

I’ve thought about law (love the academic side but I don’t think the hours would be flexible enough), teaching (not well paid enough to make it worthwhile for us), accounting, being a financial advisor, even being a therapist.

Ideally I’d like a job that is fairly flexible (eg. Allows me to finish earlier and pick back up in the evening), includes some WFH and is has a salary of over £50,000 if full time. Perhaps something where you could become self employed?

Any ideas?! Totally prepared to do another degree if needed and the cost of retraining isn’t an issue.

I'll be honest OP, I find your way of looking at things very strange.

Your husband is such a high earner that it's not worth you working for less than 50k? Surely his high salary gives you the opportunity (luxury!) to pursue a career you're interested in even if the money isn't great?

You "wouldn't know where to start" with a job closely related to what you were doing before, but you're happy to consider paying a lot of money to train in field you literally know nothing about?!

Anyway, I was going to suggest PR/marketing/admissions for a private school. The hours will likely be more than you might expect, but there would probably be flexibility to do some of them from home (and/or in the evenings). The money will be less than you're hoping, but you might get remission on fees (which could be worth a lot if you were thinking of private school anyway).

I'm a lawyer, my job is flexible now but it was the opposite of flexible when I was training. You have to be able to give it everything for a few years.

But would a £30k job really not be worth a bit of sacrifice from your DH? The benefits of working aren't just the annual salary but include: the long term career; the satisfaction in making your own money and not being reliant on anyone else; personal satisfaction/confidence from doing a job well; social benefit in meeting different people; depending on career a feeling that you are contributing to society/making a positive impact on someone's life/being creative etc.

Rather than focusing entirely on earnings think about what you enjoy/ what would give you satisfaction.

Set up a PR company to support local businesses. You will need to work hard, but you will retain quite a lot of flexibility over when you do it

Are you for real? Would you trust a FA who had no experience?

Can you find a junior role in communications dept - maybe in civil service, it seems like a good progression from PR.

That’s a senior role. You’d need quals, experience and to work your way up to that over many years. It certainly wouldn’t be entry level!

OP I feel like you want things handed to you on a plate. As others have said, any high paying job needs to be grafted for. It doesn’t just fall into your lap.

I’m an interpreter. It’s highly paid, very flexible, and I work entirely for myself and decide my own working pattern, both remote and face to face. It’s ideal for family life, but I had to work my way up, study for many years, become fluent, then undertake additional training as well as yearly CPD requirements post-certification. There were years as a lower paid trainee before becoming fully qualified. I see the benefits now down the line where I earn well and work as I please, but it took a lot of time and effort getting to this point.

This.

as a woman who is very senior and has a lot of freedom and flexibility I firmly believe the vast majority of men don’t ask for/take the flexibility they could if they wanted to. I’m afraid unless he’s a pilot, I’m deeply suspicious of the men who have to be away to unknown locations at a moments notice (and I say this as someone who travels internationally several times per month).

Instead they rely on their female partners to pick up the slack, because why not?

The vast majority of senior corporate jobs do in fact have huge amounts of flexibility available so if your DH isn’t getting that it’s either a specific company issue or a DH issue.

Family friendly and a career in law do not go hand in hand! Speaking as a working mum lawyer, it’s a nightmare of a juggle with incredibly long hours. I can only make it work because I have a supportive partner who is able to do school drop offs/collections when I am working. I appreciate it will depend what area of law you work in and some areas may be better than others but I know lots and lots of lawyers working in a variety of different areas of law and we all moan about the work/life balance. I’m afraid it’s absolutely absurd to me that you’d see a career in law as offering the flexibility you want. It’s a notoriously demanding job, subject to inflexible court deadlines and client demands. Not to mention of course that it requires years of study and training at significant expense!

I would have thought PR was as flexible as you could get and you could likely work remotely at least most of the time. Have you explored options in this area?

I have a family friendly career and working part time I earn circa 80000, depending on how much school holidays I take off. However, it’s taken a phd and several years of working very hard to get here - I can’t think of a job that you’ll walk into immediately post degree and have great flexibility and good salary. I wonder if you choose the aspects that are most important , salary, ability to WFH, flexibility, working for self or others etc and discussed that and your strengths with someone in the industries you are interested in to gauge feasibility??

I'm not sure you have thought this through. You want high paid, interesting and flexible but can't offer much in the way of experience or commitment. Its not much of an incentive to employers if you look at it from their perspective. I think you need to prioritise high paid, interesting and flexible and compromise accordingly. If high paid go back to PR in London, if flexible think about something locally that probably won't be well paid and if interesting then go back to study something you feel passionately about. Further study sounds like it could suit you best in the short term perhaps with a view to committing to a career when the DCs are a bit older and more independent. But please don't spend years studying something just because of the future salary especially if you don't need the money - it would be soul destroying.

Have you looked at the civil service? Lots of comms/external affairs roles and decent flexibility. Pay isn't great but the pension is excellent.

By the time you've re-trained into a new profession, you won't have young children anymore - and you may well have to do it part time to accommodate your childcare schedule, which will obviously mean it takes even longer. It's better to be led by what you're passionate about rather than the other way around, because there are pockets of most careers that allow flexibility (for example, lawyers, accountants etc who work for government or regulators typically have much more flexibility than their counterparts in private practice - it's a trade off for higher salaries). You're more likely to succeed if you enjoy it.

What do you mean by "family friendly" exactly?

If that means, you want to do all school drop offs, pick ups, events like assemblies or sports days, work from home, not work during the holidays and don't expect to has any paid for child care, then no. There are unlikely to be any well paid careers that facilitate that.

Well paid usually means responsible for something either serious or lucrative.
That is unlikely to be compatible with you work just four days a week and taking 14 weeks off a year on holiday.

If you are experienced and in demand then you get more flexibility. I work in a niche bit of finance and our directors on 250k+ do a couple of school picks up and a couple of drop offs per week and WFH 2 days a week. They have nannies and after school clubs who cover the other days and holidays and spouses who also do a share.
If there is a special assembly they want to go to or sports day, they just manage their own diary to allow them to go to it.
I can do the same as a non director level but also niche role person.

But then they also work at home after the kids have gone to bed until late, catch up on Sunday morning when the kids are playing football, join important meetings remotely while on holiday because otherwise we aren't quorate etc.

Flexibility works both ways at a senior and well paid level - they have responsibilities that they need to discharge and can't be handed off to other people. They need to flex to make that work as well. "We failed to discharge our legal duties to investors because our directors were not available because it's the summer holidays" would not go down well.

Family friendly well paid careers don't mean never using childcare or missing some school events. If you are a senior civil servant and the minister requires a briefing on your policy area on the same day of the year 2 sports day, you will be briefing the minister (if you have any sense anyway)

As an aside, PR and marketing is being absolutely massacred by AI so you have little leverage to demand bespoke set up if you find one of the few jobs out there.

Tbh, I'd suggest retraining as a carpenter, or decorator or plumber.

I agree. Also I think ppl have different definitions of well paid. C suite roles for example are totally not flexible but are very well paid. In your situation I would look for something that you can build up over time, your find interesting and can be self employed or consultant based.
When we started our family it was clear that DH job was 1 less flexible than mine and 2 his earning potential was much much higher. So his job got priority. But that has also meant he has lost out on family time. It’s always a balance and it’s difficult to get it right.

Mumsnet is INSANE. Iv not read the whole thread but what I have read has got me 😯. A 30k job isnt worth the hassle, just wow. Im a single mam and have worked my way up from a dinner lady when my children were small to a teacher on just over 30k. Im burnt out most days, have little to nothing left in the tank energy wise at the end of the day but was quite proud of the fact iv worked my way up. If only I had a high earning husband to fall back on, or even a low earning husband tbf. Yes I do want out of education, yes I do know I can do other things but bizarrely nothing I have found pays as good as my current job.

@MojoMoon I agree

I feel like my career is pretty family friendly now that I am senior enough to have good people to delegate to and can manage my own diary to some extent. But I definitely need childcare and I can't be at every school event.

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I'd recommend this. Without wanting to scaremonger, PR/Comms is not an industry with a large future.

I work 4 days a week 8.30-4, take 10 weeks holiday a year and made 48k for the tax year just completed.

There are lots of PR jobs outside London OP!
if you don’t want the pressure of an agency job then look at consulting. Much more flexible around children & lots of demand for your services from SME’s who can’t afford agency rates.

If you don't really need the money just do something you enjoy.

It depends on what degree and work record you have . A legal consultant as an example can work easy hours and get paid really well but obviously you need the experience.

@Ritaskitchen

I’m c-suite in a global MNC and think my job is flexible. Certainly more so than most teachers and many low paid jobs judging by threads on here.

i take my DC to school 2-3 mornings per week and pick up twice. I attend most sports day/concerts/recitals etc. I have good flexibility to attend my own dental/medical apts and those of the DC.

I travel a lot, but work around important dates.

You do need experience as you can’t get your certification without it. It is however a very flexible career.