AIBU to think a real friend would not make hurtful jokes?

30 replies

ThatLilacHedgehog · 09/05/2026 19:23

I have a friend I’ve known for around 2 years, we are good friends, but I’m exhausted by the way she treats me, she makes negative comments about my appearance all the time, saying things that aren’t very nice, but always brushing it off with laughter and calling it her love language…

she always wants to hang out and do stuff but I don’t know

AIBU in thinking a real friend wouldn’t be like this?

OP posts:

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/05/2026 23:15

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 09/05/2026 19:58

Look friendship is simple.

If a friend makes you feel good and happy then you've got a real friendship.

If thry make you unhappy, unsure of yourself, confused or annoyed then you don't need them in your life.

That is how I view it, but apparently some on MN never matured further than about the age of 12. There is always so much drama - how does anyone have the time?

StephensLass1977 · 09/05/2026 23:38

You've known her two years. That's not long enough to try and make this work.

I would drop her. You are worth more than this. I wish I'd learned this when I was much younger, but I've finally learned not to let anyone treat me like rubbish. I'd rather have no friends at all.

MsAmerica · 09/05/2026 23:44

ThatLilacHedgehog · 09/05/2026 19:23

she always wants to hang out and do stuff but I don’t know

AIBU in thinking a real friend wouldn’t be like this?

I'm more interested in the fact that you sound like a doormat and have never spoken up.
It's perfectly possible that your view is correct, in which case you could good-humoredly ask her to stop. Or start a fight with her, if you prefer.
But it's also perfectly possible that you may be very thin-skinned, that you take umbrage where none is intended, and she has no idea that you're bothered because you have given her no indication. Also possible that maybe she's appalled by your appearance and is playfully trying to give you some hints.

theodextrey · 10/05/2026 19:44

She doesn’t sound like a true friend to me. Sounds like she takes pleasure inflicting pain on you.

If you gave her a taste of her own medicine followed up by just kidding, I would bet she wouldn’t like it/get angry/or call you mean.
usually how these types are

UnhappyHobbit · 10/05/2026 19:49

I’ve had to learn the hard way with a “friend” like this. You don’t trust her. It looks like you have trusted her with things and you’re worried about her outing you.

A nice step back wouldn’t be a bad thing for you. Manipulative people often try to hold things against you so you’ll stay in your place, the verbal punch bag they need.

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