Very sensitive toddler

[ForLovingTealSheep]

My daughter is 3 years 3 months and I’m trying to understand other parents’ experiences with sensitive/anxious toddlers because I go back and forth wondering what’s typical.
At home she’s actually doing really well in a lot of areas:

• plays independently for pretty long stretches (pretend play, books, dinosaurs, doctor games, etc.)
• follows multi-step instructions
• has good imaginative play and makes up dialogue
• can sit for circle-time type activities for around 15 minutes
• shares and generally plays well with other kids
• sleeps well and usually regulates herself pretty well

But she’s also very sensitive in certain situations. For example:

• if lots of kids are crowding a slide/playground area she can get overwhelmed and cry
• she gets nervous in unfamiliar places or when driving somewhere new or when new peppa are in the house she gets overly silly to mask her
• she’s more of a cautious “slow to warm up” child

At the same time, she actually does pretty well once settled in smaller social situations like birthday parties or playgroups. Because of this we’ve decided not to send her to kindergarten/preschool yet and wait a bit longer until she feels more emotionally ready. I guess I’m just wondering:

• did anyone else have a very sensitive/cautious 3-year-old?
• did they grow out of the overwhelm with age/exposure?
• how did you help build confidence in group settings without forcing it too hard?

Would love to hear other parents’ experiences.

OP, you just ignore everyone telling you to seek help for your projected health anxiety. You really need to do this. It’s not normal or healthy to obsess over possible ‘problems’ so much, especially since everyone is telling you your daughter sounds perfectly normal for her age. I had a mother like this, always being dragged to the doctor’s for some perceived issue, right into my teens. It’s made me avoid doctors in an unhealthy way and as for my relationship with my mum now, well…

@ForLovingTealSheep Instead of walking away from threads, only to start another one sometime afterwards, why not engage further with the posters here who have given you good, sound advice? Give some indication that you've taken on board what everyone is telling you? Why do you start threads if you don't want to listen to any of the advice given to you?

I think everyone here agrees that the best thing you could do is put your 3yo in preschool, are you willing to do that?

Everyone also recognises that you need help, not just the posters on this thread but the posters on your previous threads. Don't you find it exhausting to constantly worry and analyse everything about your daughter? You and your little girl would enjoy life so much more if you could just live in the present and enjoy life, appreciate and accept your daughter as she is. Are you willing to get help for your anxiety - for your daughter's sake if not for your own?

I doubt that very much .. I asked other people and it is like being sensitive and not wanting to play with loud kids is a sign of autism and I should refer her for OT ..

You!

You are catastrophising and labelling normal behaviour!

You!

For goodness sake this is normal behaviour why are you dramatising it?

Will you be happy when she is an unwell as you?

TBH, the more OP seeks ‘help’ for her daughter, the more likely it is to flag up as an anxiety: safeguarding issue.

Is this the poster who relentlessly posts about the possibility of ND in their toddler, without actually consulting healthcare professionals?

For what it's worth you've described a perfectly normal child. Some are more sensitive than others and that's perfectly usual. She's also probably picking up on your nerves and would thrive in playschool.

I would suggest however you may be projecting on to her, and could potentially benefit from ND assessment yourself.

I think the OP has another thread running where a few details have been changed.
I'm really worried about this child.

have you got the link?

OP, it might be a good thing if you asked your GP or another professional about your daughter and explain your fears, and that way, if they tell you (as I think is very very likely) that she doesn't have ASD/ADHD/anything else you might be worried about, it could help to assuage your anxiety a lot more than posting on Mumsnet will. If you could get counselling for yourself that would be really good too.