AIBU to be concerned my partner is becoming too sedentary?

[Chocolateapot]

I have been with my DP since we were teenagers - now mid-30s. The problem is my DP seems to be getting lazier and not looking after himself at all. He's a shift worker and will often spend days just sitting around 'relaxing' but seems to do little else. I'm really worried about how sedentary he is and have tried to encourage him to exercise with me (for reference, I try and be active and also work full-time). He does cook and do minimal chores around the house. He is a lovely person and I love him but this self-neglect is giving me the ick. Whenever I try and raise it he says I'm being critical and to leave him alone. AIBU to think he needs to do a bit more?

What's his job? Is that active? Is he vastly overweight? I get it must be boring for him if you go on about it a fair bit.

Yeah, it kind of depends on whether he is overweight. There’s nothing wrong with carving out some time to relax but if he’s overweight or obese, then he should probably be trying to address it.

He does a 4 on, 6 off shift pattern, fairly active in work. He's starting to put a lot of weight on, particularly around his middle.

It depends, if he’s a shift worker, as a retail worker who’s worked in a factory previously I’ll tell you that means probably being exhausted and shoving calories in to get you through a long day/ evening/ night. I’m eleven hours today and tomorrow and tonight I will just flop, comfort eat, then get up tomorrow and do it all again. On my breaks I’ll just scroll. I bring a book and try to read but I don’t, I used to try to bring healthy food but I was so broken I just wanted rubbish. I hate writing all this down and appreciate the job is killing me, especially as I have kids and they don’t need someone who’s acting this way (to be fair hiding it is making it worse, they see me eating apples and smiling😅🥲)

Shift work is no joke, it messes with your circadian rhythms badly, so I imagine he’s tired a fair amount of the time.
I don’t think his exercise level is your business to police.

Not everyone wants to exercise especially if their job is active/tiring.

I think it depends on the job! My BIL works shifts in a factory and does 18,000 steps a day just while at work so for him a walk or a run etc just isn’t as needed (or as appealing as he is tired) than it is if you do an office job sat down all day

He only works 4 days every 10 so 12 shifts a month.

It doesn’t depend on this whatsoever. A person can be slim and unhealthy because they don’t move around and get out of breath running up a flight of stairs, for example. Not sure why people think you’re only unhealthy if fat, it simply isn’t true. Exercise has lots of benefits- physically and mentally. He’ll feel much better if he starts moving around more - everyone would.