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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What would you think of this set up?

8 replies

In2thedark · 08/05/2026 17:38

My mum has a cleaner a couple of hours a week. She is retired but able bodied, she just likes not having to worry about cleaning. Recently I have mentioned that I'm concerned about money being part time. She has offered for me to replace her cleaner, and be paid slightly more too. I have declined as I would clean her house for free if it helped her out and she would let me, but she won't have it. She said she would rather I had the money than the cleaner. I just feel uncomfortable taking money from her, also what if my standards aren't as good as the cleaners and I know my mum wouldn't tell me? She has also put looked after DS to allow me to work and never expected a penny, but again she said that's irrelevant and it's totally different as she loves having him. I don't know what to do - the extra money for a couple of hours a week would be great but I feel uncomfortable about it.

OP posts:
SoScarletItWas · 08/05/2026 17:43

I couldn’t take money for cleaning my mother’s house. But I wouldn’t do it anyway (the cleaner will do a better job and I don’t like cleaning even my own house).

Sounds like she’s trying to help without suggesting you need ‘a handout’ so making it more like a business transaction.

Waitingatlidl · 08/05/2026 18:13

I’d look for something else

Octavia64 · 08/05/2026 18:15

She is trying to help without it being a handout.

if you don’t want to then don’t

TheSlantedOwl · 08/05/2026 18:16

It’s totally fine to accept her offer.

ClaredeBear · 08/05/2026 18:26

That’s so sweet of your mum - as pp said, she doesn’t want to make you feel as if you’re just having a hand out. I’d work out whether the biggest issue is that you’re not great at cleaning or just the money side of it and take it from there. You could take her up on the offer on the condition that she feeds back on your work regularly.

blondebombsite13 · 08/05/2026 18:45

If she’s got a cleaner she’s happy with I wouldn’t rock that boat. Particularly as you aren’t very good at cleaning (I’m not either).

Sounds like you are both acting in good faith and have good intentions. This just isn’t quite the right set up.

I would just politely decline. Nothing worse than when issues arise that are really nobodies fault - just a difficult situation.

Letamumsleep · 09/05/2026 06:40

i used to do this but other way round. My mum would clean my house for money. It worked well.

Waitingatlidl · 09/05/2026 06:47

Letamumsleep · 09/05/2026 06:40

i used to do this but other way round. My mum would clean my house for money. It worked well.

Great it worked for you.

But I just can’t get my head around my mum cleaning my home. I’d feel awful watching her clean my teens bathroom! Dust my room. Vacuum my floors

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