To not know what I’ll do with myself

[StopOttering]

My youngest starts school in September. I’m dreading it 😔 she was born in September 2021, a few weeks after my eldest started school. I have either been pregnant or had a baby/child at home with me since 2016.
I’ve had part time jobs in this time but I’m not currently working and I don’t need to desperately from a financial point of view, I’m also finding jobs are harder to find in my area. I’d like a little job but I worry what we would do in school holidays or if the kids were unwell.
part of me has even thought about if I’d like another child, but I don’t know if it’s just to fill the gap of having a child at home and wanted to feel needed more than wanting a third child, as I’m almost 38 now and much more tired than I was 10 years ago.

anyone else been in this position? What did you do? Thank you.

This is a luxury question to pose so just do what makes you happy 😊 personally I would probably volunteer at a dog shelter/cultivate our allotment/help out with charities.

Work is 'overrated'? Most of us have to and if you don't then very fortunate, unless due to medical conditions of course. What a strange thing to say...

I’m a civil servant and we have part time / part year worker staff, so work around school hours and off all school hols. Still earn a decent amount, plus decent pension. I have always been a working parent, and can’t imagine having kids in school and not working, but if you don’t need the income and you’re not desperate to build a career for yourself then don’t. But remember one day they grow up. My youngest of 3 left school today (she’s 18) and i’ve loved raising them, but always been glad there’s another part of me that it’s just x’s mum.

Adding to the volunteering suggestion. Many places are crying out for volunteers so there's bound to be something locally. For example, do you have one of the local charities which drives people to doctor and hospital appointments? Or, if you have the right skills, treasurer for a local organisation. Or going into schools listening to readers like with the Bookmark Reading programme. Community shops or cafes. I'm sure you will fill you time immediately!

Finding joy and purpose in your own life as YOU and only you should be a positive thing. Not knowing what that looks like yet is unsettling, I get it, but you’re lucky to have the time and financial freedom to figure it out. You are highly privileged.

@Cocktailglass I meant it is not necessarily the definition of your life . The OP had already said she can afford to be a SAHM .

Just take your time @StopOttering

We have two, I had and took the option of being a stay at home, I got everything done during the short school day hours, walked to collect them, we took our time walking home went the scenic route/to the park, chatted, we had that breathing space because we didn’t have to rush, the housework, food prep, admin, was all done so the time when they came out was just for them.

Becoming involved in your children’s school’s PTA might be an option, helping organise events to raise cash for the fun extras? Why not? You have the time. And can meet some very impressive mums you never know what chance meetings lead to.

Your child’s school would probably really appreciate your help with listening to the children read?

I had no trouble at all when my youngest started school. I could breathe! But she left for uni almost two years ago and I certainly do feel adrift now.

I'm 39 with 4 dc, 17,15,11,11, husband was saying to the Dr today that post proctolectomy he produces no fluid on ejaculation, thank fuck as I couldn't cope with a baby now. All my sahm years were spent with either the twins, school library, school trips, school forest school/swimming lessons, whilst trying to do a OU degree.

Find something you love to do that makes you money. Being self-sufficient is absolutely essential. Sick days and school holidays are not hard to manage with 2 engaged parents. Dh and I both worked mostly FT, me with a long London commute for many years, and we’ve always had no problems.

It’s so important to be in a position to take care of your family financially though. I got cancer 2 years ago and had to leave my job. I haven’t been able to go back yet and at most will probably never be more than part time due to the disability I’ve been left with. If your Dh had to leave work, would you survive? Would you keep your house? Would you be able to pivot and be the breadwinner for the next 20 years? It’s so important not to rest on your laurels and assume it could never happen to you, because it absolutely could.

This really made me smile