WIBU to go nc with toxic DSis?

[Chichonian]

Dsis, DBil and their baby have announced they are coming to our City to visit and need a place to stay. My partner and I have a small 2 bed flat with open living/kitchen area. Currently we use both bedrooms each night as sleeping separately while we manage nights with our baby (who's under one).

To accomodate entitled Dsis, we have already agreed that my partner and baby will go stay with PIL to free up space in the flat. Dsis and DBil have also insisted they need both bedrooms (not sure why, but I guess that's what me and partner do so fair enough..?)

I also have DS (4) staying with me. He is a ginger BSH cat but i truly consider him part of the family. DS likes to move through the flat at night as he has a strong protective instinct, and cries at closed doors. It breaks my heart. Clearly DS needs to be shut away from baby in the crib in bedroom 1, but I see no reason why he shouldn't have free reign into bedroom 2 while I am upstairs on the sofa. He does tend to beg for food after about 5am (foot nibbling etc.) but thats his prerogative and all totally managable.

Toxic Dsis is insisting now that DS be shut out of both bedrooms at night, and I will be left managing heartbroken, screaming baby boy 😪. This feels like the last straw to me, WIBU to cancel the visit and finally go NC?

As they are on the way it’s too late to rescind totally. They get one bedroom, you use the other. DCat roams, except the room that they are in. Your parter and DC can also stay at home.

Next time say NO. Not convenient

So basically they want your entire apartment for their visit and all household members have to work around them. I can’t believe you have let it get this far and I am even more shocked that it was the cat that was the final straw 😂 I wouldn’t let them stay at all but at this point I would say you get one bedroom and me and the cat get one bedroom. If that’s not good enough, stay elsewhere. She sounds like she’s been a CF her whole life and you’ve become so conditioned by it you let her get away with it.

For goodness sake, you have no room. Why are you even considering putting them up?

Is this a jokey post that hasn’t quite landed?

How did the night go @Chichonian ?

She's entitled because you're LETTING her be. How stupid giving her both your bedrooms and chucking your own baby out of their home. Grow some balls and tell her to source and pay for her own accommodation. What a shitty example you're setting for your child.

Absolutely this.
Grow a backbone and stop letting this entitled madam walk all over you.
“No it is not convenient” is a complete sentence.

Your sister sounds incredibly entitled but there's also an onus on yourself to stop facilitating this behaviour and stop being a doormat. Going no contact sounds entirely dramatic than just actually telling her to find alternative accommodation.

I also think as well its worth remembering that we model acceptable behaviour to our children. Your daughter is young now but is this really what you want her to be like. Unable to stand up for herself and to just allow people to take advantage of her and walk all over her. Start as you mean to go on and show your child that she has a strong, resilient and a mother than can stand up for herself. Not some absolute doormat who can't say boo to a goose.

You’re agreeing for your infant and partner move out of their home to accommodate your Sister and her family. That’s ridiculous. You don't have the space, it doesn’t work for you, that’s all there is to it.

Think about it. You are sending your under 1 year old baby away from you so that your sister doesn’t have to pay for a hotel. Is there any other circumstance you would choose to spend less time with your baby in order to save someone else a bit of cash?!

They can get a hotel and you need to get the Airbnb account closed or the number changed. Tell her no.

Ok update for those interested.

I raised Aibnb with toxic DSis and was thoroughly slapped down. I ended up folding and on the Sofa. During the night DSiS did the following

• Came into the kitchen/living room area to do some kind of food prep at 4am (waking me up)
• Admitted that she had in fact abandoned the second bedroom and gone into same bed as her DH because it's 'more comfy'
• Gaslit me into saying that I had in fact had a 'good night sleep'.

DS was my rock through it all, he woke me at 3:45am using his strong guarding instincts. He was clearly so upset by his toxic DAunt, but he's such a lil trooper.

Definitely going fully n/c after this. Can't make a scene at christening but am definitely going to be asserting myself more with toxic Dfamily. I had really wanted DS to receive a blessing at christening but had been nervous about family reaction - no more. Will be calling up the church to arrange.

Thanks all for support 😽

This is a problem of your own making, due to your inability to say "No, we don't have the space". Crazy!

So? Why are you letting them dictate to you, do you normally let your sister walk all over you? All you need to say is no you're not staying.

Just saw you let them stay. Mad. All your own fault for not saying no.

I have no idea why you didn't say "we don't have space for you to have two bedrooms - there are only two bedrooms in the flat in total."

I understand you and your do having separate rooms to manage the baby, but you really couldn't have shared a room for a day or two?

I am a very pro-animal person, but I think it's reasonable for a guest to shut a cat out of their room. I love my assorted dogs and cats, but I don't expect others to put up with their nighttime shenanigans.

She's overstepping, but you don't appear to have set down any clear boundaries. Surely there's a middle ground here of having an occasional relationship but they don't come to stay?

Could your sister have been part of a plan to encourage you to prioritise your daughter over your cat?

Just joking! Hope you get more rest tonight.

their niece i.e my child so obvs i did technically invite

You wanted your cat to have a blessing at the christening?!

The christening is this weekend then? Today?? Can a cat be added so easily?

Just tell them no! Honestly, what is wrong with people. Also, your cat isn’t your son 😂

This thread is absolutely mad. Choosing to go no contact with your sister and niece just because you don't have the balls to stand up to yourself in your OWN HOME is about the wettest thing I've ever read.

Regardless of whether she slapped down on the air bnb is beside the point. She doesn't get to decide whether she descends on your home or not far less decide on the sleeping arrangements. Putting your baby and husband out their own home and putting yourself on the sofa is completely insanity. You've only yourself to blame for how the situation panned out and having a hideous nighrs sleep.

What example do you want to set to your daughter? Do you want her to be a complete doormat and always choose the path of least resistance because she can't stand up to herself.

I am with your family though on the blessing. If my sibling had rocked up to my child's christening with their cat, wanting them to get blessed, I'd have absolutely told them to do one while questioning their sanity.

What a weird post.

Let me get this straight.

You refer to DS(4) but say its a CAT?

I'm beginning to think you are seriously unwell because it sounds like you are mixing up a child and a cat. No sane person would expect a cat to be christened.

This has got to be a joke. So it is your daughter’s christening? But your partner and daughter moved out and you slept on the sofa for it so that your sis could take over your house? If it was such a special occasion why would you let them disrupt you enjoying it properly as a family unit? Also you referring to your cat as your son and wanting it christened is insane.

Final update for the thread. Thanks to all those who gave support and positivity