Parents avoiding my son’s birthday party

[Imamomofone]

there was a parents in my son’s class group who didn’t come to my son’s birthday party last year . We are very nice to them , have helped each other few times , and have always treated their son nicely . I missed his son’s last part because of timing misunderstanding but did deliver his gift thinking the little one will be happy . My son plays with their son too . This year , they are again avoiding to come to my son’s birthday party. They went to all other birthday parties . This has made me think whether they are deliberating avoiding us based on our social class / financial status ? We are renting in a rich area where they own a house , and most of the other parents do but I can’t come up with any reason in my mind other than thin as to why they will avoid my son’s party ?

Kindly, I think you are way over thinking this. People lead very busy lives, maybe your son's party is just genuinely not at a good time for them. Especially at this time of the year when the weather is nice, people have so many invitations and things to get to.

Try not to take it personally, it's a kid's party, not worth stressing over.

Parents have more things on in life that taking their kids to endless kids parties

They may well be busy. People have busy lives.

You use the word "avoid" - is there a reason you can think of that they are "avoiding" rather than simply not able to come?

My son's best friend didn't come to his birthday party for two years' running. In the third year DS only wanted to go to an activity with a couple of friends, so I went to speak to his parents to discuss dates. They asked if it could be a week or so earlier as my son's birthday was the same day as best friend's grandmother, and they always had an extended family get together in the nearest weekend.
So they weren't "avoiding" the parties, they simply had an annual event at the same time.

Maybe they are busy? And it’s not personal xx

Last year , it was my son’s birthday party on Saturday and Sunday there was another child’s birthday party . They attended another child’s one but didn’t attend my son’s one ?

So what. They probably had something else on. Did they rsvp to say they couldn't make it?

They had plans on the Saturday and not on the Sunday, that's the most likely explanation

Who wants to attend two kids' parties in one weekend?

We have more time on Sundays it is not some great conspiracy

This!!!! I’ve got two of these double whammys on the calendar and I’m gutted we’ve signed up to them 🤪😂😂😂

How does anyone with a young child have the time or headspace to keep track of what other parents are doing with their spare time?

You can't possibly not understand that they might have had other plans on the Saturday

Do you mean just the parents didn't come and the child did or no one came, it's unusual that you refer to the parents and not the child

They might have commitments on a Saturday. Family they see, activities or clubs the kids attend. The parents may work and may have had no one to bring them My son has a season ticket for Liverpool, if he’s invited to a party and there is match he has to make a decision whether to go the match or the party. It might be that the child isn’t really that friendly with your child, or doesn’t like the activity planned etc. to just assume they are avoiding is a bit strange

It could clash with an activity or another commitment? Who knows.

Why are you making it all about you and the parents and not the actual kids?

They get to an age soon enough where only their chosen friendships matter.

The kids will be close to who they're close to, regardless of parent intervention.

Rarely does anyone give a shite who rents and who owns, as long as the kids are happy being actual friends.

Why are you assuming they’re avoiding you rather than just being busy??

I literally have no idea which of my DDs’ friends’ parents rent or own their homes.

And if they are avoiding, why does the OP think it's got anything to do with finances?

Sorry but with as much kindness as possible you sound like you are hugely overthinking to the point of being paranoid.

They are probably busy, juggling lots of things at weekends and have a clash. No one in this world has time to strategically avoid certain people’s children’s birthday parties.

Please don’t pass this sort of paranoia onto your children.

@Imamomofone you sound highly anxious. They aren’t coming for whatever reason, you’ll probably never know. Now focus on the children who are coming and plan a nice party for your son and his friends.

I honestly couldn’t tell you which parents have attended or not attended my DD’s birthday parties. I don’t know why you’re giving it any head space at all?

You need to reframe this in your head. They aren't avoiding the party, they are unable to come. Could be for any reason, you don't need to know why, it's a shame, but it happens.

You may want to consider CBT or similar if you find yourself catastrophising like this a lot, it isn't a healthy way to think about things

I treat all kids parties as a nice to have, unless it’s a best friend. We go if it suits, but not if it clashes with a swimming lesson / visit to granny / play date with a bestie.

I don’t keep track of which ones we go to - if I miss things two years in a row it wouldn’t even register, let alone be part of a conspiracy.

It’s a bit odd that you’re tracking other parents’ attendance at other kids’ parties.

I wouldn't remember who attended my own DC's parties from one year to the next, let alone what other parties those kids went to. You're overthinking it OP. Most people go if they can but not if they have other plans. My DDs birthday is in late June. There is so much going on at that time of year that friends often couldn't come to her party. Just enjoy the occasion with whoever can make it.