AIBU to think knife is IN FRONT of the fork! (lighthearted, but infuriating)

[TheQuickSloth]

DS is learning to use a knife and fork properly and we’re trying to teach him how to position the knife when cutting something, so that the knife is on the ‘far side’ of the fork away from him, and not closest to him. Put the fork in, then cut off the bit of food your fork is in so you can eat it.

From DS’s point of view: Him - Fork - Knife. Hopefully that’s clear and so far, utterly normal. I’ve attached a diagram to avoid confusion.

But at dinner tonight, DS put his knife the other side of the fork, so closer to him than the knife. I explained to move it 'in front' and why that would make it easier, and he said “No, Daddy said the fork should be behind the knife”. I looked at DH and he said, “Mummy’s right, it needs to be the other side”. “But that’s in front!” DS said looking puzzled. As was I!

We breezed past that in the moment, but tonight we were talking and I feel like one of us is going insane. He cannot understand my position, and I cannot understand his at all.

DH says the knife is BEHIND the fork.
I say the knife is IN FRONT OF the fork.

DH’s argument: “If the knife was a panda and the fork was a rock, then from where you are, you’d say the panda was hiding behind the rock. It’s hidden, it’s obscured, it’s behind something else!”

But to me it’s in front of the fork because it’s further away. So if the knife and fork were in a race, then the knife would very much be winning. You reach past the fork and therefore move in front of it.

So even though DS agrees (which is good enough for me!), I’d like a more representative judgement.

YABU - DH is right, the knife is BEHIND the fork! AKA ‘Shy panda style’
YANBU - I’m right, the knife is obviously IN FRONT of the fork! AKA ‘winning the race style’

Exactly

Literally sat here trying to visualise how to hold the knife!

When you stab the food you're cutting the knife goes on the curved out side of the fork, so the outside?

I mean bravo for getting DS to even hold the knife and fork, my DD is still in the stab a whole item and chew off bits from the fork. I live in hope!!

Well of course he is right. Knife is behind the fork. But why bring a panda to the table? No wonder you are getting confused.

My immediate thought from the title was "of course the knife is in front of the fork". But now that I've seen your hesband's explaination, I 've come round to his way of thinking, sorry.

But it's at the back of the fork, so behind it. The fork is facing away from the knife so the knife is behind the fork.

I love how it's taken all night before sanity finally breaks out. Thanks to OP for a lovely thread to brighten my morning.

Surely it depends whether you are inside or outside the clock face.

If outside then turning to the right means you are going anticlockwise.

If I side then turning right takes you in a clockwise direction

OT showed my daughter to slide knife diwn fork to help control.
I dont think I eat like that though

The knife is behind the fork from the holder's perspective and is at the front from the perspective of someone sitting opposite the holder.

YANBU OP, delightful thread topic

Thanks for making a complicated situation even more complicated!

I was told to turn something I was holding "to the right". So I did and was then told I was doing it wrong, even though he's clearly the one who was wrong. It's been two weeks and we still can't discuss it without emotions running high.

So I first thought it's obvious! The knife is in front of the fork. But then, sat thinking about it a bit more I saw our car outside. It's facing away from me with the bonnet facing the road. If a person stood on the pavement they would be in front of the car, but from my perspective they would be behind the car as I wouldn't be able to see them from where I am.

Hmm. You have a point. Scratch "using". My point stands for things I'm holding though.

For example, if you were holding a sword in one hand and a shield in the other and you were told to hold the sword in front of the shield, I think it would make sense to most people that the shield should be further out from your body than the shield.

Please say you think clockwise.

Yes but you are not the fork, you are the eater. And from where you sit the knife is behind the fork.

In this picture the hill is behind the tree. I don’t say it is in front of the tree surely? It would be if they were both racing away from me but they aren’t…

Actually in the case of a sword and shield you’re right 🤔 If I were doing laundry though, and I was holding up two towels together as I folded them, I would refer to the one closer to me as the one in front of me and the other as the one behind.
I think it’s more to do with the subtleties of the meanings of the words than a hard and fast rule about your own body position. In front of means ahead of, behind means beyond, so you can see how they can be occasionally confusing.

Reminds me about an convo in our house recently. Not about cutlery but about time zones.

i was describing countries east of us (eg in Asia) as as being “before” us in terms of time since the sun rises there before it does here and so they have their morning before us etc. whereas DH thinks of that part of the world as being “after” us since it’s always later there than it is here. We agreed to disagree on that lol

I would lean towards "in front" but I understand your conundrum. 😂Just as my mind boggles over "forward in time" - IMO later (further away from me), not sooner!

Surely the common term is "ahead" i.e. they are X hours ahead of us? Which would mean you're right and DH is bonkers misled 😇😂

He should have said to turn it to his right, otherwise surely everyone would default to turning it to their own right?!

The explanations for why everyone sees it one way or the other are really interesting. It's much more split than either of us had thought, but I suppose that's a good thing for harmony in the house! I think by numbers I'm still more right though 🤣

What we did agree is that whatever makes sense to DS (which is 'in front' as he sees it) is what we'll need to work with. Still very much 'stab and chew' with a fork territory, if cutlery is used at all, for now!

Of course, because unlike my DH I'm not absolutely bonkers!

Just tell him the knife is a little farther away from him ☺️

Friends of my parents almost divorced over which is the correct side to butter a cream cracker.

Argh, I too lean to "in front" in the OP's situation but struggle with your timing one. Utter confusion in a meeting recently when we needed to reschedule a date from 9th July and options were to move it "forward" or "back" by a week. Clearly (to me) "moving it back" took it to 16th, because that was moving it back in the month and "moving it forward" brought it forward in time to 2nd!
But others thought the exac opposite🤦‍♀️
And when you think about how we use "back in time" they are right, but it still sounds wrong to me!
We settled on just "moving" with no forwards or backwards l, but I am still amazed at the way simple phrases can be interpreted so differently by otherwise sensible people.