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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to tel the children to be quiet when their dads in bed?

33 replies

shatteredmumsrus · 21/06/2008 08:51

He has been at work all week (so have i p/t) and he went out last night got totally pissed and came in after 3!The kids are making alot of noise messing about and wrestling etc... Should i tell them to be quiet? I am taking them football practice at 10 so we will out his way then...AIBU?

OP posts:
posieflump · 21/06/2008 08:52

I would just shut the lounge door if there is one, and shut the bedroom door and then leave them to make as much noise as they like

themildmanneredjanitor · 21/06/2008 08:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scorpio1 · 21/06/2008 08:53

I would leave him, TBH.

Then make him pay at bedtime

Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 21/06/2008 08:57

All doors are shut! I am more annoyed ecause we are do skint and he hasnt done anything all week so I didnt mind him going for a couple on a friday night after a week at work but he must have spent alot more than we can afford.I was asked out last night and i said no because we are skint, now i wish i had of gone out instead!AAAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

OP posts:
Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 21/06/2008 08:58

The b's and h's are playing up on keyboard, sorry for spelling

OP posts:
HeadFairy · 21/06/2008 09:00

I wouldn't worry about him, surely if you have children and you choose to go out on the lash you have to pay the consequences the next day... that was dh's answer as well... he was also out on the lash last night but is such a lightweight he came home at 10.30pm completely lashed and passed out before 11pm so he's slept off his hangover!

TinkerbellesMum · 21/06/2008 09:08

I agree with the others.

"He has been at work all week (so have i p/t)"

So you have a pt job and a ft job? No sympathy for him then!

Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 21/06/2008 09:16

You lot agreeing with me has made me even more angry and annoyed at him. He hasnt seen much of the kids this week and he said to them last night before he went out ' we will do something nice together tomorrow' HUH!

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 21/06/2008 09:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

barbiehouse · 21/06/2008 09:31

you could always shout loudly at the kids to be quiet

MuffinMclay · 21/06/2008 09:37

I'd send them in to bounce on him and wake him up.

DuffyMoon · 21/06/2008 09:44

I always very accidentally let the dog in to jump all over him....

ninja · 21/06/2008 09:47

Your message could have been mine - mine'll sleep thro' it and I predict his first words to me will be 'put the bath on' which he will then luxouriate in for an hour and thyen say we've spent all day together grrrrrr

mrsleroyjethrogibbs · 21/06/2008 13:30

nah keep geeing the children up to make more noise

clam · 21/06/2008 13:41

If he'd been doing nights, then maybe. As it is, with him having been out on the p*, I'd get the hoover out, to be honest....

DirtySexyMummy · 21/06/2008 13:46

at everyone else here...

Remind them that their daddy is sleeping, and to keep slightly hushed. If they can't, take them out. Let him sleep and get over his hangover, and teach the kids that they have to think about other people.

And then, next weekend, you go out, safe in the knowledge that your lovely DH will keep the house peaceful so you can sleep it off in the morning.

Also - on a practical note - if he was out drinking from say, 6pm til 3am, at lets say 2 pints an hour, then he will need 16 hours for that to be out of his system, and 8 hours to not feel the effects. So please, make sure he has at least 8 hours sleep or he will still effectively, be drunk.

expatinscotland · 21/06/2008 13:48

has he ever heard of earplugs?

they're cheap and readily available.

sorry, but he chose to go out and get pissed.

bollocks to ruining their day because he had no self-control.

what's with mollycoddling all these grown adults just because they have a penis between their legs?

No19 · 21/06/2008 13:52

Agree with DSM.

If you'd been out on a treat night out, felt like a lie-in the next day, wouldn't you really appreciate it if he organised the children so you could do that?

Their keeping noise levels down till they went out to football would hardly be ruining their day.

And much nicer for them to pick up from you - let's be as nice as possible to Dad - than - let's get revenge on Dad for having enjoyed himself.

VictorianSqualor · 21/06/2008 13:53

Surely a grown man is entitled to have a lay in/go out on the lash?
If DP goes out he is always home by about midnight and he rarely goes out anyway, but if this was him I certainly wouldn't wake him up/let the kids wake him up at 9am!

If you're going out at ten anyway I'd pop up with a cup of tea just before you go out and then tell him you'd like him to get up when you get back so you can do something, chances are he'll fall back asleep, but when you get back you can go in say 'Aren't you up yet?' and expect him to get straight up and be grateful that you let him sleep.
If you were to wake him/let the kids make loads of noise he'd be, (justifiably) pissed off, as would I in his position.

In our house whoever needs the lay-in be it through going out or sleepless nights, gets it.

Minum · 21/06/2008 14:01

My DH makes sure the kids are quiet/taken out if I'm in bed after a big night out, and I really love him for it (and I'd do the same for him, of course). Being nice to each other is really important I think.

expatinscotland · 21/06/2008 14:20

No, I don't expect people not to live normally in their own home because I chose to go out and get pissed, especially wee children.

Since when was going out and getting bladdered all night a reward? WTF?

No wonder the UK has such a problem with binge drinking.

If I went out and got plastered, that's my lookout, not my kids'. I put earplugs in and get rest that way.

I wouldn't deliberately organise the children to be loud, nor would my DH, but I don't see why everyone has to walk on eggshells on a weekened afternoon in summer because Mum or Dad went out on the lash.

cory · 21/06/2008 22:16

VictorianSqualor on Sat 21-Jun-08 13:53:09
'Surely a grown man is entitled to have a lay in/go out on the lash?'

Not if the family can ill afford it, as the OP suggests. Not if he had promised they would be doing something nice together, as the OP suggests. Not if the OP herself is unable to go out because of the financial situation.

A grown man with a family doesn't have an automatic right to go out on the lash- it's a luxury, an extra.

Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 22/06/2008 09:19

Here here Cory - shame he doesnt see it like that
Victorial Squalor - I agree with you in principal, if we had the money and he hadn't promised the kids then yes

OP posts:
micci25 · 22/06/2008 09:31

depends what time he is bed till. i get up at ungodly hours sometimes and dd1 tends to follow me i keep her quiet until about tenish then if hes not up thats his problem!

dp came in at about 6am this morning! dd1 is currently dancing and bouncing about our living room! dd2 still asleep in her cot! lazy moo!!! she had a late night last night! am waking her up soon though!

LoveMyGirls · 22/06/2008 09:43

We've had 2 late nights this weekend (usually in bed by 9 or 10pm) we had 1 friend round on friday night but i went to bed about 11pm knowing I wouldn't get as much sleep on sat night because we invited a few friends round to celebrate our engagement, I went to bed about 1.30am dp came to bed about 3am (he cleaned up before he came to bed so I wouldn't have to tidy up and entertain dd's this morning) dd's got me up about 7am and I have been encouraging them to keep quiet (dd1 has either been watching tv or playing on her ds or making pictures with tap a shape, dd2 has built a den and is now playing with playdough) I'm going to a wedding fair in a bit so dp has got our dd's all day (which he did yesterday as well because i had a lie in then went wedding dress shopping and lunch with my mum then when i came home I went food shopping) I think the more sleep he has the less grumpy he will be and the happier dd's will be so i'm keeping them quiet for their benefit as well, win win all round. I think we'll be having an early night tonight!

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