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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

... to be tired of OPs who only post once and never come back to their thread?

57 replies

BIWI · 07/05/2026 13:23

So many of them these days. I appreciate people might not come back immediately to their thread, being busy/at work etc, but so many just don't bother to return at all.

I've started to check each thread I open now, to see if the OP has posted more than once.

No idea what MNHQ can do about it though!

OP posts:
BIWI · 07/05/2026 14:53

OneTimeThingToday · 07/05/2026 14:31

I agree but... if the OP gets completely roasted, why would they come back for more abuse?

True, and I can understand that. But many/most of them seem to be threads inviting opinions/help, which is generally freely given. It's not always about giving the OP a roasting.

OP posts:
Ved · 07/05/2026 15:09

BIWI · 07/05/2026 14:53

True, and I can understand that. But many/most of them seem to be threads inviting opinions/help, which is generally freely given. It's not always about giving the OP a roasting.

Yeah for sure if the OP has had their arse handed to them on a plate/had a roasting, then it's kind of understandable that they don't return, but as you say, this isn't the kind of thing you're on about, and it is the ones where people are helpful and kind, and offer lots of advice and time, only for the OP to not return.

Szerelem · 07/05/2026 15:16

Could it be something towards horrible comments/ not infrequent bullying?

Slightyamusedandsilly · 07/05/2026 15:25

Yep. If it's a controversial topic, I'll check if OP has more than one response and if not, scroll past.

UNLESS it is something really interesting (they never are) and then I'll read for the comments.

Not sure really what they get out of it.

SagathaChristie · 07/05/2026 15:47

Ved · 07/05/2026 14:44

I kind of think that an OP does owe posters a few responses, and to let people know what happened, and if they're OK etc...

To post something, asking for advice and help, and let 100s of posters use their time and energy helping, empathising, and finding information for them, and sympathising, and then not coming back with an update is quite rude IMO.

There may be the odd exception where the OP can't for certain reasons, but in the vast majority of cases, it's very unlikely that they're unable to update. Even if it's 3 days later. Some just post the first post, and never come back. It is frustrating and annoying, and if it keeps happening, some posters are not going to bother spending time trying to help and advise people.

There was a thread on here about 2 months ago, where the OP said she'd had 4 speeding fines in one day (same camera - didn't know the 30 zone had dropped to 20,) and she got 12 points and had her licence revoked.

Dozens of people posted in good faith, helping and advising, including a lawyer I think, and told her all sorts of things she can do to try and reverse this decision, and she never came back. So no-one knew if she was OK or got the points taken off her licence.

So yeah, in many cases, I do believe that the OP DOES owe people an update. And I agree that if a poster doesn't come back to the thread after 3 days, that MN should message them and say their thread will be deleted if they don't come back to it within 48 hours.

They won't do that though.

Like a few others on here, I believe some threads/scenarios/dramas that are posted on here are not genuine.

.

Edited

There is nothing that can be done to compel anyone to keep posting though.
It may be rude, it may be that they can’t or don’t want to for some reason, but that’s their prerogative.
The only thing you can do is to not put more time or effort into responding than you want to give.

APatternGrammar · 07/05/2026 16:07

They could change the way they order the threads, so that threads with an active and responding OP were higher up in active and in the topic.

HoskinsChoice · 07/05/2026 21:54

BIWI · 07/05/2026 13:32

With the number of daily posts I doubt VERY much that the community team have time to do this!

Also, the three word names are names given to posters who join but can't/don't create their own username.

Seriously?! Of course it's mumsnet! The same topics come up over and over and over again. I would hazard a guess that the vast majority of the anti-dog and 'I feel like I'm poor but I earn £100k' threads are fake. Mumsnet is a business which is there to make money. Starting a goady thread with a known high response is just there to provoke clicks and generate cash.

Scrumbless · 08/05/2026 08:29

I’m usually quite surprised when an OP comes back to reply.

There’s been so many threads over the years that I still remember and wonder what happened.

TheWildZebra · 08/05/2026 08:31

BIWI · 07/05/2026 13:32

With the number of daily posts I doubt VERY much that the community team have time to do this!

Also, the three word names are names given to posters who join but can't/don't create their own username.

I hate the habit

but in defense of three word names my username was the first MN algorithm suggested and I thought it was lovely! We’re not all bots, promise!!

PacificState · 08/05/2026 08:38

I don’t think for a minute it’s MNHQ. I do think some of them are creative writing prompts, or journalists. But I wonder also whether some of them are just people who have become very used to typing their problems into an AI chatbot, and at some level they’re so desocialised that they haven’t clocked that the normal thing to do is say ‘yes’, ‘no’, ‘thank you’, ‘I disagree’ and so on…

Thebirth · 08/05/2026 08:39

BIWI · 07/05/2026 13:35

Thinking about it a bit more - with my emails, I get a reminder to 'follow-up' on an email I've sent to someone. Perhaps MNHQ could do this? If the OP hasn't come back in, say, a day, then they get an (automated) email asking them to come back to the thread. Then if they don't, the thread is deleted.

(Sorry Tech - I have no idea if this is easy/feasible Grin)

Oh for goodness sake, this is ridiculous. No one here owes you anything at all. MN should not be harassing people who don’t post more than once. That’s absurd. Stop being so invested OP.

There are lots of reasons someone may not return. MN can be really harsh. It’s very easy to see why someone does not return if they get abuse or people give them a perspective they find upsetting. I can think of a dozen other reasons too.

It’s really not a big deal. No one has an obligation to entertain you or give you a pleasing narrative or engage with you.

Threads often take a life of their own anyway, regardless of Op comes back.

If it bothers you just don’t post on threads where there is only the OP.

BIWI · 08/05/2026 08:40

If it bothers you just don’t post on threads where there is only the OP.

Wow - I would never have thought of that.

OP posts:
Thebirth · 08/05/2026 08:42

HoskinsChoice · 07/05/2026 21:54

Seriously?! Of course it's mumsnet! The same topics come up over and over and over again. I would hazard a guess that the vast majority of the anti-dog and 'I feel like I'm poor but I earn £100k' threads are fake. Mumsnet is a business which is there to make money. Starting a goady thread with a known high response is just there to provoke clicks and generate cash.

This made me laugh! It’s far more likely there are just a lot of people who don’t really like all the dogs there are now! I really don’t think MN needs to manufacture threads on this 😂

BIWI · 08/05/2026 08:43

... and on that, I'm in agreement @Thebirth

OP posts:
PineConeOrDogPoo · 08/05/2026 08:43

They are AI and Bot accounts to drive up traffic because traffic makes money.

Thebirth · 08/05/2026 08:43

BIWI · 08/05/2026 08:40

If it bothers you just don’t post on threads where there is only the OP.

Wow - I would never have thought of that.

It appears not being as you started this thread.

FiveShelties · 08/05/2026 08:44

BIWI · 08/05/2026 08:40

If it bothers you just don’t post on threads where there is only the OP.

Wow - I would never have thought of that.

😂

I have stopped posting on threads where the OP only posts once - many of them I think are from the Creative Writing Competition to see who can get the most responses.

BIWI · 08/05/2026 08:46

@Thebirth

But I don't read them now. Like @FiveShelties, once I clock that the OP has only posted once, I don't read the rest of the thread.

OP posts:
Thebirth · 08/05/2026 08:54

BIWI · 08/05/2026 08:46

@Thebirth

But I don't read them now. Like @FiveShelties, once I clock that the OP has only posted once, I don't read the rest of the thread.

So you’ve solved your problem. And there’s no need for this pointless thread.

Honestly some people on here have an extraordinary sense of entitlement from people who start threads. OPs are real people with real lives and real feelings and real problems. They don’t owe posters anything. We surely all know this if we choose to reply?

it’s like people who actually get arsey when a poster doesn’t immediately follow their advice. The mentality of some people on here 🙄

BIWI · 08/05/2026 08:55

Well, you don't need to post on it, do you?!

OP posts:
Ilostallthepens · 08/05/2026 08:58

I don’t think it matters really, even if it’s not a genuine post cos it often generates a good debate about an interesting topic and people end up discussing issues around it between themselves

Ilostallthepens · 08/05/2026 10:00

PineConeOrDogPoo · 08/05/2026 08:43

They are AI and Bot accounts to drive up traffic because traffic makes money.

Do the bot and AI accounts ever engage with the threads? (I’m aware this might be a very stupid question!)

Abandofangelsincivvies · 08/05/2026 10:04

I agree with you op, it’s rude not to return to a thread you’ve started. It basically says you are only interested in what you have to say or think and not anyone else.

Plus, in many cases, it’s people who want to post something goady or inflammatory and then bugger off.

I think it’s a good idea to check the number of op’s posts before answering.

User33538216 · 08/05/2026 10:06

Same. I never bother reading past the first page of the OP hasn’t come back.

EmpressaurusKitty · 08/05/2026 11:48

User33538216 · 08/05/2026 10:06

Same. I never bother reading past the first page of the OP hasn’t come back.

Me neither. Those threads usually end up as lots of people all giving the same advice.