Do you believe you can be born with certain cultural values or that you generally assimilate into the culture you’re brought up with?

[SpideySensesbroken]

So as a weird example, I was born to a British mother, no influence or contact from my father who is not British or even European. For as long as I remember, some things about British culture just irk me, some feel unfamiliar.
But that’s bonkers right? Values and culture can’t be genetic.
Bearing in mind that my mother has no knowledge of my dad’s culture, so that wasn’t a factor, growing up.
I find it odd that my way of relating to others is so different, that my attitudes to family, old age, socialising, boundaries do not align with my British family. I should say that I have no idea if they would align, or if I would get on better, in a different culture, I’m sure I’m very British in many ways.
Has anyone had similar feelings of not fitting in?

Different slant, but I never fitted in and think differently to most people

I was born and raised in Scandinavia to one Scandinavian parent and one who wasn't. I never felt 100% Scandinavian while living there (mostly because I'm the 'wrong' religion and hair colour and also have a non-Scandinavian name).

The first time I felt proper Scandinavian was when I moved to the UK! That was when I realised how big a part of me my home culture and way of life actually was, despite always feeling like a bit of an outsider.

Whenever I go back to my home country I end up realising just how British I am as well nowadays though... Mostly because I apologise if someone walks in to me and will also always ask someone standing in the way of a queue if they're in the queue, even though I know fully well they're not.

Define British vulture.

I think certain traits such as conscientiousness are largely inherent and culture shapes how they manifest

A big bird carrying a Union Jack?

Brilliant 😆

I hadn’t spotted the typo!

So everyone born in a particular country is not the same? I'm not having that.

You think everyone born in a country is the same?

My immediate reaction is that cultural behaviours have to be learned but who we are is 50/50 nature/nurture. So perhaps there’s something in what you say.

No, no one is born with a culture.

Plenty of people with two British parents are also irked by British culture, and quite a few feel like they don't fit the norms.

• also If you are a different ethnicity/race your experience of living in Britian will likely be slightly different than the norm, which especially in your earlier years could have impacted how you view the culture.

That being said, your genes do cause some of your dispositions/personality, so it is possible that people are genetically more or less predisposed to certain ways of living, which could align with values held by one culture or another. But again, this is true for anyone, regardless of where their parents are from.

Culture = the language, ideas, beliefs, customs, codes, institutions, works of art, rituals, and ceremonies or traditions of a group of people or place

I'm sure you can figure out what Britain has for each of these. The combination of each of those = British culture.

It isn't static, it changes and evolves constantly.

Personally, when I was younger I found it hard to understand what "British" was, because I spent my whole life living inside it, so it was all I ever really knew. It was the default or the "vanilla". Every other culture seemed clear and defined because they were different to the default that I was used to.

But then I left the UK, and I've now spent most of my adult life living outside of British culture, and Looking back from the outside, British culture is just as clear as any other culture, whereas those other cultures that seemed so uniform and simple now (after living in them) seem just as complicated/messy as I used to view British culture. The only challenge with British culture, is that I would argue (with no positive or negative judgement) that it is evolving quicker than other cultures due to immigration, which makes it a bit harder to keep track of.

Is it perhaps your own personality quirks rather than your ability to assimilate? Plenty of people feel like square pegs trying to fit into a round hole regardless of race or cultural background. Not everyone fits in, and a lot of people who do fit in only do so for fear of being ostracised. Social approval is a very strong drug!

My husband was adopted as a newborn and has only met his birth mother and half siblings in his 60s. I’m amazed at how like them he is, much more of a party going animal as are they whereas his adoptive family, although lovely, were monumentally unsocial. He is closer to his half siblings that his adopted sibling despite not being bought up even knowing about them. Nature in this case has definitely overcome nurture.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I don’t think it’s remotely unusual to find parts of the culture you grew up in annoying/confusing/odd/not for you.

I think there is something genetic that comes into play on some level but that nature plays a role . I also think it is quite hard for people who don’t have 2 parents from 2 different cultures to understand how it can make you feel and can shape you in a very subtle way.

My mother was from a different country . I couldn’t live there I don’t think but if I don’t visit regularly I feel a bit of me is missing in a way that is difficult to describe. I also carry a level of guilt about the actions of my grandparents generation on Mum’s side which I do know is not my guilt to feel but has existed all my life.