To not join in the baby shower and gift

[Lordofthebantams]

I have a colleague who had her first baby. How lovely. We bought presents, put balloons up, had a lunch and mini baby shower. She had her little boy and came back to work a year later, 4 months pregnant. Oh what a surprise, how exciting. She worked for 4 months then went off on maternity leave. Big present, lots of fuss, nice lunch in work time. Had her daughter and had a full year off. This year she returned to work pregnant again. She's worked for 3 months ( barely, mostly just discussing giving birth and showing everyone baby pictures) and now she finishes in 2 weeks for another year off. I've been asked to contribute to her baby shower. I don't want to not acknowledge it. It's lovely news but paying for her to have baby shower number 3 in 3 years seems a bit much.

Surely by the third baby she should have everything she needs, esp as they are so close in age. I wouldn't bother but then baby showers wasn't a thing when I had my baby's. People either have a present or didn't, there was no expectation

Just don't contribute...I hate enforced collections like these. Many years ago we used to have collections for all sorts of things. Big brown envelopes going round. As not to be the only one I used to just put a few pennies in. (Just be aware that you have to be happy not to receive anything in return- people can be funny with these things even with baby No3)

How much would you have to pay?

Sorry, I’m mostly here gawping at her speed!

At my work place there might be a small collection by the immediate team for a first baby ~£100 plus flowers and then for subsequent babies usually a small nice item (booties, blanket, jelly cat) and flowers.

If there’s a baby shower/lunch it’s outside work hours and very optional.

Yeah I definitely wouldn't want to either. You probably hardly know her, she's had much more time off than been there.

YANBU but I'd probably stick a fiver in just to show willing. It's pretty ridiculous though.

Maybe go and wrap up a few packets of condoms?

Flippin heck it sounds like she’s been on mat leave more than she’s been at work! Talk about taking the piss!! I can see why you’re upset. tbh though I’d just chuck a fiver in so other colleagues didn’t think I was being funny

Brilliant! Please, oh please, bring back the laugh emoji...

I hate the pointless fuss and consumption around these things. She's got all the baby stuff she needs. I just totally blank these at work. I don't care if I look tight.
I wouldn't want any random gifts from colleagues either, whatever the 'occasion'.

Haha, I mean her fertility is admirable.

She is the sort that is absolutely obsessed with her kids. Lives and breathes them, so one wonders if I will be back in a year to tell you number 4 is rolling around. Our poor employer. They haven't exactly had their monies worth the last 3 years!