AIBU to worry about husband using a digger near young children?

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We are doing work in the garden. I come home from work at around 6pm. DH says that he wants to do work in the garden and has hired a digger for Thursday. He collects our 3 children at 3:05 and has said he’ll be then working in the garden. Kids are 5, 7 and 10. I’m fuming but he has said he won’t budge and that ‘the job needs to be done’. As I’m not home until 6, that’s nearly three hours of the children playing in the garden while he’s on the machine. He could also do it while they are at school, as he’s not working at the moment. Am I being neurotic?

I think it depends a lot on the kids....can they be trusted to stay inside /away from him. What if they need to get his attention? Is it new to him so he'll be concentrating and not maybe watching out for them? Can the 5 year old sit in the cab with him...again how experienced is he, to be able to work with a child beside him.

What exactly is the issue? Thought you were going to say the kids were babies/toddlers

sounds perfectly reasonable, kids are old enough to understand not to jump infront of the machine

Fine as long as they know not to go in the garden, will they just stay inside with a film on?

Surely the children are old enough to play inside for a few hours until your home whilst he sorts the garden. Not sure I could get to annoyed about it. If the job needs doing and he's hired the digger for just one day then it's got to be done.

He’s not experienced on the digger at all, although it’s not the first time. The kids are not risk averse at all and they spend most of the time in the garden charging around on their bikes. They fall off a lot as it is!

YANBU
Hoe is he going to look after them whilst he’s working? How’s he going to keep them away from the swing of the digger and the excavation?

@Roads he’s hired the digger for a week and there’s plenty of time for him to do it when the kids aren’t around.

Not seeing the issue. Do you usually have a constant stream of guided activities? How’s it any different to if you needed to clean the house? The oldest is nearly in high school. The youngest is in full time education. Struggling to see the concern with them semi-entertaining themselves for a few hours.

That’s my concern. When you are operating machinery, you can’t hear what’s around you. The kids could come right up to the digger asking for a snack or something and he could swing it round and hit them, not knowing he’s there.

Surely they can be inside having a snack, doing homework and watching TV while he is busy in the garden?
I mean my kids were sat on daddy's knee operating diggers from the age of 3 so I'm pretty ambivalent about this!

I don't think it really matters that he's hired it for the week. You seem determined to think he's unreasonable. Are your children really not capable of playing inside for a few hours whilst he does it?

That’s not my concern. Yes, kids can look after themselves and they are very independent. For me, cleaning the house is so different to using a digger in the garden. I’m not going to knock them over with a sponge.

Well you give them clear and straight forward expectations.
If you’re hungry, help yourself to XYZ (I’m sure they can get a banana without your husbands assistance).
if you need Daddy, remember you’re not allowed past this spot here. Just wait there and Daddy will spot you within a minute or two.
Whilst Daddy is on the machine, you can watch a nice film and don’t forget that Ben is in charge because he’s 10.
I really think you’re overthinking this!

On a well run building site, either all pedestrians are kept clear of excavators by fencing of plant and pedestrian areas, or the machine has a banksman to help the operator. If you are going to walk near an excavator, you first make eye contact with the driver who will put his bucket down before you come near. This is all with adults used to operating and working around plant and machinery.

You are not being unreasonable.

YANBU.

Yes, the children probably could be expected to play inside for the duration but you can’t rule out them having a row or one of them needing to ask Dad something. And if it’s a warm day, it’s a shame to deprive them of garden time.

I don’t have any issue at all with kids these ages being expected to entertain themselves- it’s the safety aspect that is a concern. If this was the only time the DH could do the work, it would be different but OP has said he could do it while they’re at school, which is what any sensible person would do. Why go out of your way to operate dangerous machinery while simultaneously looking after three kids?!

Ok thanks folks! Clearly I’m in the minority in this one. I’ll ask him to give them firm boundaries - they’re bound to be excited at first, but the novelty will wear off.

I had a very ‘redneck’ childhood - driving tractors on roads aged 11, doing dangerous things on the farm (and bad things happened far too often) so I didn’t really want that for my kids. But happy to know that the consensus is that they’ll be OK with some guidelines.

You know your kids best and whether there’s a reasonable chance they’ll follow the rules. If it was me then I wouldn’t be particularly worried! I’m 75% in the ‘it’s absolutely fine’ category.

https://plantandsafety.co.uk/sole-director-jailed-after-employee-killed-by-excavator

https://press.hse.gov.uk/2026/04/20/waste-management-company-prosecuted-after-worker-crushed-by-excavator/

https://itssar.org.uk/news/waste-firm-fined-after-worker-crushed-by-excavator/

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-68108282

Of course it’s not safe if they are in the garden too children aren’t allowed on building sites for this exact reason. He should do the digging from 9-2.45pm and more at 6pm if keen

At 5 years old? I couldn't trust my 5 year old to stay inside for 3 hours while their dad was in the garden on a digger. YANBU op. I work in construction and have seen things that can go wrong, adding children to the mix is a disaster waiting to happen imo

I run a groundworks training company. An inexperienced operator AND in charge of 3 kids. YANBU!

Keep the kids out of the garden is the common sense answer. There's zero reason why children of that age who have been properly brought up can't be in the house while their dad's in the garden.

I really don't think you are being unreasonable, machinery, especially operated by a novice/amateur can be very dangerous. No-one in their right mind would risk their own children's safety in such an irresponsible way.
A child I had taught at pre-school was killed in an accident with a tractor on his family farm, aged 7. He had grown up around machinery and could have been expected to know how to keep safe around the farm. But he didnt.
If all else fails I would take time off work to supervise the children and keep them safe.

You are absolutely not being unreasonable. I have a friend who was hit by the bucket of a digger when she was 6 years old. She spent weeks in hospital. Why is your husband such a fucking idiot????

But you can’t rule out something happening in the house (the kids have an argument or someone is sick or someone wants to find something and no one knows where it is, but Dad definitely will) and so a child comes outside to find dad but he’s got his back to them and can’t hear them shouting over the sound of the machinery…

All probably fairly small risks but to me it is utterly nonsensical to choose a small risk over the zero risk of doing the work while the kids are at school.

I think maybe some folk here aren’t really aware of how dangerous this sort of equipment can be, even for people who have trained to use it (which the DH hasn’t).

Can anyone just please tell me why you would choose to do this task while your children are at home and you are the person responsible for them? Instead of just doing it when they aren’t there? What is the downside or risk of doing it while the kids aren’t at home?