AIBU to feel unsure on preschool due to one key worker

[LilyRay]

Currently settling my DD (2.3) into a preschool/playgroup setting. We chose as it has positives - small homely setting, nice outdoor space, long standing staff who have been there for years, kids seem happy etc. DD has enjoyed her visits, going off and exploring alone.

However here is my AIBU, for some reason I’m not keen on her key worker. She’s slightly older (say late 40s/50) and just seems a bit slow and away with the fairies and due to this not overly warm in personality. I don’t know how to explain it politely! For example today the manager kept pointing at my DD to encourage this lady to interact with her - would this be expected as a given during her settling? FTM and first childcare experience so I don’t know. I felt at times that my DD looked a bit lost and was saying things and no one was listening fully. I know there are other children but at the time they were mostly all having story time. The manager was fantastic with her in terms of involving her when she was close by, and did say on a previous visit that they all share the care of the kids but key workers are responsible for communication and progress etc.

I just feel unsure about her bonding with her and taking care of her. Already feel nervous as I’m so used to being 1:1 with her as a SAHM that the thought of people taking good care of her and multiple other young kids at the same time worries me.

I think I just hoped the other staff would be more encouraging and interactive with her whilst she got settled?

Why are you staying during her settling sessions?

Apologies maybe settling isn’t the correct word, we’re doing a couple of stay and plays and then today I left for a short period and will try longer next time.

Ok well honestly it doesn't sound like she has really done anything wrong, you just don't really warm to her? I think that's ok, you won't warm to every staff member or teacher either. If it was story time I imagine they were trying to keep things quiet. They will also get used to your child's speech and understand her better when shes there a bit longer.

Can you have a quiet chat with the manager? Although she obviously has confidence in this person, or she wouldn't be employing her. Maybe the manager could put your mind at rest.
But IME, all the staff muck in with all the kids. How many hours/days per week will your DD be there? How valuable will updates on her progress be?

It depends on how many different childcare options there are in your area, you can look into some others if you like, but tbh this sounds fine to me. It would be different if you felt the key worker was unkind or untrustworthy, but just to be not very warm, I think if you like the other aspects of the setting you can't expect everything to be absolutely perfect!

Yes didn’t do anything alarm bells wrong, but personally I didn’t warm to her as I have the other staff who have been friendlier. She also comes across as more stressed than the other staff (on both occasions not just today).

Yes possibly I could I just don’t know how word it! She has been there a number of years as she did mention it to me in conversation. She’ll only be there two mornings to start. I think I just wasn’t sure on how much involvement the key worker will have, perhaps I need to have a chat about that.

No, nothing like that. Just a bit scatty and not as warm with the kids or me (can’t put my finger on it exactly!) and then I think that made her seem not as friendly as the other staff have been. I can’t explain haha. But yes maybe you’re right we can’t have it all perfect! Think I just stressed more with the ‘key worker’ side of it too.

What solution would you like to receive?

I think you have to be aware of the lay of the land before you make complaints about things that have barely happened. I do supply teaching and I meet all sorts of people in my job and I manage to get on with pretty much all of them. But I’m on forums for supply and the things that people will go to SLT or the head and complain about are just insane. Not saying thank you, correcting them when they get a child’s name wrong and this ‘overriding my authority’ etc. Then they find out that the person they are complaining about (usually a TA) was just jilted at the altar last Saturday or their husband was shot in Afghanistan. Or worse, they are the headteacher’s wife .

People who work with children are just people with things going on just like the rest of us. And it’s good for children to be exposed to people with different personalities.

Completely get that and know people have lives outside of work. Wasn’t planning on making a complaint as such, was more just querying if I was being unreasonable for it affecting my confidence in the setting. If anything I would just ask to change key worker if not gelling or an alternative.