If you are ND do you have a superpower?

[AuADHD]

I fucking don’t. It’s one struggle after another despite ADHD meds. I don’t think I’ve ever had a superpower or even close. I’m a Jill of all trades: can turn my hand to everything I try and do it reasonably well but I never excel at anything. Nothing positive anyway.
My son is being assessed for autism and the psychiatrist said to me last week that all this talk of superpowers is great at focusing on strengths but it can downplay the struggles people have.
A friend says she loves the way I see the world, as in the details that others miss, but that’s hardly a superpower.
I’m not sure that talk of superpowers is good for children who don’t have any either. It could feel like yet another thing they are failing at as though they aren’t doing autism or ADHD to a good enough standard.

Do you or your child have a superpower? You don’t have to share what it is, I’m just interested to see if people do actually have them. Maybe it was something to try and make ND people seem less “weird” to others or feel better about themselves. Just musing.

My son had that one too. Funny that! 😄

Thank you! I knew I must be good at something 🤣

We have recently been abroad for the first time in seven years! He’s ok with UK- he has two hotel chains that do good deals and work well for us and we have National Trust membership. So that naturally works out. They email a special offer, he thinks it’s good so books it. Ta da!
Abroad, though… so many permutations to consider. I send him 2 to choose between, he responds with seven and a spreadsheet. I stop speaking to him for a while. Repeat ever six months for seven years…

It's internalised ableism. Toxic positivity, minimising the very real struggles becsue there is ONE things you can do well

I don’t think that counts, quite the opposite lol

My ND DH fucking hates the superpower and gift bullshit. Hates it. Guaranteed a sweary rant if he’s asked about it. Hates how some groups and people try to make out that ND doesn’t make life harder for most ND people.

Our ND DD is quite confused by the idea that it could be considered a superpower because it just makes her life far harder than it otherwise would be.

In the early days when our DD was diagnosed with ASD some well meaning but ignorant numpty got all excited and asked what her superpower was, in front of her. We were both stumped as to what to say, and I think we said something along the lines of we don’t talk about ASD as being a superpower. I suspect that if anyone was to ask DD these days she’d tell them that it’s a disability, not a superpower.

"Superpower" is nauseatingly patronising and even if there are odd things i'm good at makes me want to avoid discussing them. Blergh.

7% think I’m unreasonable. I wonder why?

I hadn’t thought of lots of these examples as potential superpowers. I too remember dates of everything and events and see patterns in things that others don’t . I’m a creative problem solver. People tend to view my great memory for events and dates as stalkerish and it freaks them out. It’s not normal to remember someone’s birthday when it’s only been mentioned in
passing years ago that their birthday is this coming Wednesday. The fact you clocked the date and filed it away without any conscious effort is just weird. Remembering what people were wearing or eating is definitely weird. Telephone numbers before people just saved them in their phone. Addresses. What happened when and who said what. I always just thought I have a good memory and am observant. I could make a good detective perhaps but I’m too old now at nearly 50.
My dad used to say I’d got eyes like a hawk, ears like a bat, and a nose like a bloodhound. This was not complimentary. My mum still comments on “you and your smells! 🙄” Nothing useful or socially acceptable in my superpowers.

I can’t articulate my feelings though or explain why an answer to something like maths is correct, I could never show my working out. It’s just right or it’s not.

I am outstanding at fucking up, being unsuccessful in life and love, not reaching my potential, being messy, eating too much junk food, spending too much money on my special interest, starting tasks and not finishing them, and not reaching my potential. I should have gold medals or one of those honorary doctorates for those things.

Superpowers my arse.

I agree with what posters have said about it being patronising and an attempt to dismiss our struggles.

7% think I’m unreasonable. I wonder why?

I wasn’t sure how the voting was set up
actually.

Was I meant to consider the title?
‘If you are ND do you have a superpower?’
Because I’d say no, silly idea, YABU.

Or the last lines of your OP?
‘Maybe it was something to try and make ND people seem less “weird” to others or feel better about themselves. Just musing.’
Because I’d say, yes, that was probably it.
YANBU.

I hate when an AIBU title doesn’t match the questions asked in the post😅
It makes it very hard to interpret what people have actually voted for here 🤷‍♀️
(The second example above in my case if it makes a difference.)

Not many people voted. Maybe that’s why.

You're kind of right. Obviously we are all the same species and autistic traits are human traits.
Neurotypical doesn't mean people who aren't autistic are all the same

I guess I am a bit perplexed as to what makes it a superpower. My ND husband would be considered gifted and talented at maths and I get that it is common some ND people to see patterns and have good memories for numbers. He literally just sees the answer and has no idea how he works it out. But he works in a field with NT people who are equally gifted. So what is it that makes it a super power?

I find it equally irritating that people assume that all autistic people are or should be gifted at maths. Neither I, nor my autistic son can hold numbers in our head long enough to add them up at all. We have to see them visually written down. Apologies for the tangent.

I don’t like the superpower message either. I wonder if it was something created to use more in schools when teaching children about neurodiversity and trying to be motivational to children diagnosed?

I agree with the majority here that it downplays struggles and the reality of a ND life.

It's weird, but I can sort of "sense" when there's a spider in the room, and spot it right away. Like, I'll walk in, get the feeling, look up, or in a specific corner, and I'm like "BAM! There it is". 😅

The very phrase makes me want to punch someone.

It’s so twatty.

I was once asked if I saw my autism as a “super power” by a particularly stupid potential new support worker.

Reader, I declined her services.

Sorry, that’s a perfect example of my crap communication where things make sense only in my head! I’m not even sure I meant to enable voting 😩

No. It's been nothing but limiting and frustrating for me.

Please don’t worry.
I should have added that people do this all the time 😁
I think my post above might have come across harsher than I meant it to be, sorry 🫣

My kid is twice exceptional. I basically call it the shit sandwich. The bread is the dyslexia and the ADHD. The filling is that underneath it all she's very very clever, but most people think shes not clever and a bit annoying. However she isn't going to thrive in this world at all because it's all results driven and it bloody hurts. (I am too, I know how hard it is, I only got to where I am because I had a very rough start and beat myself into it!) We tell her her brain is wired differently which makes some things easier and some things harder. She said to her father recently 'i wish you could be me for a day so you could understand how hard it is.'

I do have an amazing memory and I'm really good at problem solving, including deeper empathy. I'm also fantastic with customers and chilling them out when they're angry. I'm a huge researcher with enhanced hyperfocus too. I'm brilliant at my job and my managers have told me that I'm not allowed to ever leave the team.

However, I could have all those skills if I was neurotypical too.

That hyperfocus can make me forget to drink, eat, go to the loo and I can stay static for hours. I don't notice if I'm getting cold or seizing up.

I go at 3 million miles an hour on some things, and I've had to train myself to recognise when I'm at risk of burning myself out.

If too many things happen to disrupt my carefully planned routine, it causes me intense overwhelm and anxiety, to the point where I'm physically sick and shut down.

So no, to summarise in addition to my first post, it's not a fucking superpower.

I hate the superpower narrative. I have ADHD. My superpower means I spot details everybody else misses and am hyperaware of people’s moods, body language, lies etc. I quickly put facts together, people say I could be a detective. I remember everything that is useless, I could probably tell you what I wore on 6th October 1991 if I can link it to any other memory - so if you tell me I went to see my grandma on that day, it will trigger the whole story in my brain: what we wore, what we ate, what we did and what the weather was like. I am also very clever, learn things really fast.

However, I also have a bunch of antisuperpowers that stop me from being hugely successful in anything I do. I’m impulsive and a people pleaser, which is not a good combo. To give you an example: I officially accepted a piece of work from a supplier as soon as an email came because it looked good at a glance. Then I read it properly and found loads of things I didn’t like, worked out why they made the mistakes and made recommendations how to fix it - all supposedly brilliant and insightful just a tad too late. I also accept every possible task at work that sounds interesting because my brain loves a new challenge, then I have to work extra hours. The list goes on.

Could I please ask you two questions?

In respect of your DH, when he’s got the answer, is he able to work backwards to see why it is the correct answer?

Also, about remembering numbers. I’m exactly the same. I can’t memorise anything. In fact as a child I once spent hours of homework trying to memorise a really short poem and it just would not stick in my head. The teachers were convinced I’ve done no homework at all and in fact I’d spent the whole evening and nearly cried about it. Although I did once memorise part of Marc Anthony‘s speech.

Anyway: the trick I found for numbers is this: if I look at the number and then look away, the number stays in my head provided I make no effort at all. That’s very important: don’t make the slightest effort. If I try to memorise it, it instantly disappears and will not come back. That might help.

I have AuDHD and don't have any superpowers. I have a high IQ which makes me "moderately gifted" but it's almost completely useless because I can't apply it to anything. I'm not talented at anything or passionate about music or art or any other skill. I pick up hobbies, am really into them for a week, buy tons of supplies and then suddenly completely lose interest and can't be bothered ever again. I am into am dram but I never took the chance of trying to make a career from it so I just appear in the occasional local production and get fair-middling reviews. I'm also dyspraxic so I suck at sport. No-one likes me because I'm "weird" and I have hardly any friends. I sound really down on it today and I'm not, I'm actually lucky that I have a job that doesn't demand too much of me, I'm happily married and my daughter is great. I'm lucky that I'm quite good at "life admin" so I don't live in constant chaos like some of my ADHD friends. But AuDHD has not given me any advantages.

He struggles to explain how he works it out, it just appears in his brain as a fact. It is quite remarkable really.

We sound very similar, I have severe inattentive adhd, so I think it is a poor working memory and executive functioning issues. I have tried all sorts to remember numbers and even masked my way through a job which revolved around numbers for years. I can picture the number for instance a black number on a white page, but as soon as another number cuts across it the first one disappears, if that makes sense. Times tables won't stick, but I am better at remembering poems. I think that is due to the rhythm as spelling can be difficult too.

I completely understand but think it is nice if you can focus on a strength to feel good about when life is a struggle in other ways. That's how I see it for my child, who finds it really difficult to retain information but then has this natural advantage with music lessons, I think it's good parenting to encourage the special skill and big them up.
Nobody has said any kind of super power trope comment to me personally but I know it exists.

I don't know, I think it could be helpful for children struggling to come to terms with a diagnosis - though I can see how it would grate as an adult. I don't want my dd to see herself as a problem that needs fixing, though I'm very careful to acknowledge how she feels about her difficulties. I don't refer to super powers, but I think encouraging children to utilise their strengths to overcome challenges might help them in the long run. For example, dd's pattern recognition and visual memory is in the 98th percentile. Why wouldn't we home in on that to help her receptive language/ verbal processing (which lags behind)? She has a problem solving ability (when regulated) that dwarfs that of her peers, and her determination is incredible. It makes me sad to hear her say that she wants to be 'normal', but I think there's a way of acknowledging her struggles whilst rejecting the "I'm broken" narrative. In the long term, I think this is more likely to help her.