Working Mum Senior Leader - struggling

[Gamechanger2019]

I’m a working mum in senior leadership role who is struggling! It’s recognised I’m probably doing 3 peoples roles in one but no give! I have a preschooler who is hard work and yes I have a supportive husband but it’s a lot balancing a pressurised job and home life.

I feel like I’m entirely honest on how hard I’m finding it at work it I’ll commit career suicide but I’m now at the point where it’s becoming all soo consuming and impacting my non work life, and I can feel myself taking it out on my family, which isn’t fair.

unreasonable - keep quiet
reasonable - say something

I feel stuck, in a hamster cycle I can’t get out of. I feel if I say something it’ll just be used as an excuse to mark me down rather than support given. Anyone else been in a similar position, and what did you do?

This totally depends on team
culture and your manager. I’ve said something a bit like
this to my boss and he basically said don’t worry and stop trying so hard at work ☺️😂

Agree it will depend on the culture at your work.

When I had dc2, I put in a request to go Part time, as I felt I was doing neither role justice. It worked so well, I stayed PT for rest of my career. BUT, it wasn't unheard of in my job.

You should speak up, but only talk about work. If your role is too much - too much to do in your contracted hours and/or too stressful - that would be the same regardless of whether or not you have children. Someone without children might find it easier to manage because they can relax more away from work, or cram in more work in the evening, but that’s still not ok. Focus on what’s causing the problems at work and think about what could help.

I did the crossover of a very demanding professional role whilst bringing up kids and meeting the needs of a very demanding extended family, for 7 years and it broke me.

Before having my kids it was just about manageable as I used all my free time on work and extended family but when the kids came along I began living on 4 hours sleep a night to fit everything in.

I did remain great in my job role, was also great at being a mother and my extended family continued to feel I was a great daughter and aunt but I was burnt out. I ended up on going to the GP for help. They put me on anti-depressants.

Something had to give. I quit my high-earning professional role that I’d been doing for 20 years. I was fortunate enough that my DH ran his own company so I just joined him. I worked school hours with no stress put on me. I began sleeping 10 hours a night. My pay was rubbish in comparison but it was enough. This was all 10 years ago. Things became so much better.

You can’t change your family life, the kids will aways need you. Their demands will never be less than they are now, just different and sometimes even greater. So, that just leaves your job that you can change.

Thank you everyone really helpful comments.

I’m fortunate to have a coach so I’ve talked through some elements today, and I feel like I’ve got a grip on a plan.

I have to start putting myself and family first, and giving less of a cr@p!

In my mind I’ve given myself until Dec (some things change for me in Q4 that could make things easier) if not no different I will look for something else in Jan.