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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Worrying about going to friends wedding

15 replies

BreeHodge · 04/05/2026 19:55

My friend is getting married in a few months and the venue is 4 hours away. My friends and I have booked a hotel for the night before and the night of the wedding and will be going down together. I have recently been diagnosed with a health condition that I am awaiting treatment for, and is causing major fatigue (amongst other symptoms like dizziness, weakness, headaches). Some days I am ok but a lot of the time I am exhausted completely. It’s affecting a lot of aspects of my life as I am spending a lot of time resting and in bed and even small daily tasks can be difficult. It means that whenever I go somewhere, I have to be prepared that I may need to leave early if I start to feel unwell/fatigued. I already missed this friends hen party because of it, so I really feel like I can’t miss the wedding. She is a very close friend that I have known since childhood.

I have called the venue and asked about how flexible their taxi services are and they said as it’s a rural location, they cannot guarantee taxis so you have to book in advance for a specific time. AIBU to be worrying about this? I do not know what time to book a taxi for because I just don’t know how I will feel on the day and what I’ll be able to manage. So I don’t know when I’ll need to leave. I’ll need to be there from 12pm and it finishes at 1am. I was thinking of ordering the taxi for 10 but I honestly don’t think I could last that long. The evening party starts at 8 so I could book it for then but I am panicking in case I feel unwell at say 3pm for example and need to leave but am basically stuck there for hours. I don’t drive unfortunately. I don’t suppose anyone has any helpful advice other than try to suck it up? 😬 It isn’t normal levels of tiredness, it really can make me feel very unwell if I try to push through which is why I’m worrying.

OP posts:
Cheesipuff · 04/05/2026 19:58

I went to a country wedding and it turned out the taxis didn’t want to come all the way out to the venue as they were busy in the towns. So don’t book a taxi for when the pubs come out!
Otherwise I think you should be ok.

Hatty65 · 04/05/2026 20:02

I have chronic fatigue and I would say in your shoes just let this worry go. Emotional stress will not be helping you at the moment. I would let my friend know that I was hoping to be able to make the wedding, but due to my current ill heath I couldn't guarantee it.

Then just see how you feel the week of the wedding. If you are not up to it send a present and a card saying how sorry you are that your health issues won't let you travel. I know exactly what it is like to be exhausted and unable to push through.

This wedding is not a problem for you to worry about now. Push it aside.

JanBlues2026 · 04/05/2026 20:04

Can you see if the venue has a quiet room you can rest in?

BreeHodge · 04/05/2026 20:06

Hatty65 · 04/05/2026 20:02

I have chronic fatigue and I would say in your shoes just let this worry go. Emotional stress will not be helping you at the moment. I would let my friend know that I was hoping to be able to make the wedding, but due to my current ill heath I couldn't guarantee it.

Then just see how you feel the week of the wedding. If you are not up to it send a present and a card saying how sorry you are that your health issues won't let you travel. I know exactly what it is like to be exhausted and unable to push through.

This wedding is not a problem for you to worry about now. Push it aside.

Thank you, this is really helpful and I appreciate it

OP posts:
BreeHodge · 04/05/2026 20:07

JanBlues2026 · 04/05/2026 20:04

Can you see if the venue has a quiet room you can rest in?

I did ask them this and they said they do have a room but they can’t guarantee it won’t be being used for something else on the day

OP posts:
JLou08 · 04/05/2026 20:08

I'm sure there will be somewhere quiet you can go for a rest. Not to sleep, but just to take time alone sat down not having to interact. Call the hotel again and ask them. Even if there isn't a separate room there will probably be a bench outside. There may also be a time slot you could book to go to the hotel between the meal and the first dance.

Winter2020 · 04/05/2026 20:16

Is the venue also a hotel? If so could you book a room and have it available to you at any time? I know that might not be affordable but if it is you could stay there and meet back up with your friends the next day to travel back.

wecangoupupup · 04/05/2026 20:18

Is it feasible for someone to travel with you?

BreeHodge · 04/05/2026 20:18

Winter2020 · 04/05/2026 20:16

Is the venue also a hotel? If so could you book a room and have it available to you at any time? I know that might not be affordable but if it is you could stay there and meet back up with your friends the next day to travel back.

It’s a castle, but it does have some rooms. I checked and they’re fully booked for that weekend. That would have been the best option!

OP posts:
BreeHodge · 04/05/2026 20:20

wecangoupupup · 04/05/2026 20:18

Is it feasible for someone to travel with you?

I did think about asking my partner, who isn’t invited to the wedding but I thought he could come with me and he could have a day to himself exploring the area or something and then he could be my back up if I need to leave. However I never asked him because that just feels a bit too much to ask, the wedding is a Friday so he’d need to book the day off work. So I’ve just ended up booking it with my friends instead

OP posts:
Laushe · 04/05/2026 20:23

I went to a semi rural wedding and needed to check into my hotel at the closest town before a certain time. One of the other guests very generously offered to drive me there and back. Is this an option? I'm sure people would be willing to help

TheNoisyGreyLion · 04/05/2026 20:36

Demand for taxis will probably be lower earlier on in the day, so you might well be fine. It will be 11pm onwards it will be really busy I imagine. Xx

BreeHodge · 04/05/2026 20:47

TheNoisyGreyLion · 04/05/2026 20:36

Demand for taxis will probably be lower earlier on in the day, so you might well be fine. It will be 11pm onwards it will be really busy I imagine. Xx

Yes that’s a good point actually, you’re probably right

OP posts:
asdbaybeeee · 04/05/2026 22:02

I’d book a taxi for 10pm then you can request it earlier if needed. During the quiet bit between meal and evening do I would preemptively rest if possible.

CalliopeFosterBeauchamp · 04/05/2026 22:14

Is it the bridal party / families who’ve
booked the rooms at the castle?

If that’s the case, I’d talk to the bride and ask if it would be possible to rest in a bedroom for an hour or so if you need to.

I’d be happy to lend my room to someone who just needed to lie down for a bit.

I have chronic fatigue and have missed so many social events because of it. I hope you find a solution x

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