Think I may be a tad.

[ComeOVeneer]

Original plans for the weekend were that dh attends a birthday party Saturday afternoon, then a stag do in the evening. He will stay at his parents overnight (or for whatever time he will be sleeping) as both "do's" are in London (1 hour from home). I was supposed to drive up to ILs' house on unday for lunch so (a) dh could get a lift home with us, and (b) so ILs could see LOs.

However today is my fathers b'day - he initially said he didn't want to make a fuss etc and nothing was planned. However earlier in the week my mother phoned to say actually he had hinted he would quite like a little family lunch or something. So my sister is driving with her family (almost 2 hours) for a suprise lunch on Sunday and my mothe asked if we could make it. Dh obviously can't but I said I would come with the children.

MIL is furious that I have changed plans as now she won't get to see the grandchildren (she saw them 2 weekends ago) and my parents saw them for a whole 6 days last month when they looked after them when we were away .

I realise changing plans is a bit rude, however it is my father's birthday! DH is a bit peeved as well. Probably due to (a) his mother hassling him, and (b) he has to get the train home .

Have I really done wrong?

[Frizbe]

No, its your dad's birthday, he's entitled to see his daughters and his grandkids too. MIL will get over it, and dh can find his own way home As mil is only an hour away surely she can come to you next weekend or vice versa instead.

[dizzydixies]

oh there you are in that rock and hard place called trying to please everyone and not quite managing - you're going to end up trying to please them all at the expense of your own sanity

[ComeOVeneer]

dd my sanity went a long time ago

[ComeOVeneer]

Frizbe, we are already due to go to MIL next weekend 8and* they are coming for the wholr of the following weekend to go to the races etc as it is FIL's birthday!

[dizzydixies]

ok lets try a different approach then

what age are the dc and where do THEY think they're going?

[ComeOVeneer]

Dc are 3 and 6 and currently think they are having a weekend with mummy at home (thankfully). Plans were a bit up in the air so we knew better than to tell them

[dizzydixies]

damn it, that was going to be my next get out clause

ok plan C - which is going to make your life easier in the long run?

apologising to your mum and saying as your dad had indicated he wanted no fuss you've already made plans - will this result in stroppy mum & mildly disappointed dad (remembering he is seeing other grandkids too)

OR apologising to InLaws and promising to make it up to them at a later date and getting dh to make his own way home

hhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm - my point again about rock and hard place - am not being much help am I?

sorry

[ComeOVeneer]

I know that dd and ds would prefer to go to my parents, simple because they get to see their cousins who live almost 3 hours away so don't see them that often.

It is my fathers' birthday, not any significant event in IL's house.

We had a bbq and spent an entire day at ILs' house 2 weekends ago, we are staying overnight next weekend and they are staying 2 nights the following weekend at us.

Surely she should compromise for Sunday?!?!?

[dizzydixies]

ok, sounds like decision has been made then but you DO realise you're going to have to grovel a bit don't you

cake maybe?!?

what about dh, how is he getting home?

[ComeOVeneer]

DH is going up by train tomorrow for the feastivities, so is more than capable of doing the same to get hoe. TBH the fact that I would take the children out for the day on Sunday means he can sleep it off at his parents/come home to an empty house etc which must be a more appealing option post stag do, than Sunday lunch with the family?!?!?!?

[dizzydixies]

ok you're going to have to sell it to him that way to get him onside

then grovel to MIL

[ComeOVeneer]

Actually the more I think about it the more angry I am with her. She expects as "family" we should all be there/do things for each other etc etc, yet she can't/won't extend the same reasoning towards my side of the family

[dizzydixies]

ah mil - can't live with them, can't shoot them