Is this normal or just me being a walkover

[Mymessybrain1223]

Hi . Name changed for this but long time lurker !
I've been thinking lately about some peoples behaviours that doesn't make sense to me . I'm suspected ND so go easy on me lol. Sometimes I feel like I'm beeing an absolute walkover. Some examples : At work : people are being very friendly with each other and hugging and chatting like a best mates , but when some of them are not around people bitch about eachother and are nasty behind her backs . Like you literally hugged that person 5 minutes ago . How can you be like that with someone you don't like . Why just don't say hi and that's all of you don't like that person anyway.
Number 2 : My brother and my mum for example tell me they gonna come and visit me but don't make specific plans and don't tell me when they are coming and I can't get on with my day and also if they don't turn up they msg me last minute and say they are not coming or just turn up without telling me what time they are coming ,drives me crazy and stresses me out . Are they taking the piss or thats what people do .

1. Also my brother - let's his kids run riot in my house when visiting ,climbing everywhere and spilling things and then telling me that I should move stuff away before they come so it doesn't get broken . They got twin boys age 3 . I'm child free . Am I beeing a pushover ? Like I shouldn't be telling his kids off and I shouldn't be explaining things as that's what you do you just try to behave when visiting someone else's home. Thanks for reading . Hope this makes sense !

I think the work thing you have to just live with, just make sure you don't join in.
Your family is different. I would ask for a time your mum plans on visiting. If it doesn't suit or she doesn't know you do have to get your point across that you have other things to do.
Three year old twins sound wonderful and a nightmare at the same time! I would move precious stuff out of the way for your own peace of mind and maybe have a few quiet toys, building blocks or colouring for them to do.
You don't sound like a walkover, just too nice to say anything.

Thanks ! I love my nephews very much but I don't like them in my house ,but I'm not a bad person. I like taking them to parks and farms away from home as I can't cope with noise when they are in my small house and refused to have them over night . Brother not happy and calls me old grumpy lady lol I'm only 32 . I try to explain myself to people and him but I find it hard to explain things and people think I'm rude or precious

That's your perogative, it's your home after all. Unfortunately, if you want things to work better for you, you are going to have to somehow get your message across.

You could be more assertive. With the workplace it sounds toxic, watch your back. With your family, tell them 'can you let me know by x time (which could be any time you choose eg the day before or by 9am on the day) if you are coming over' and if you don't hear by x time go out and get on with your day. With the twins - don't invite them over, meet them elsewhere.

I find it strange that people insist on things they consider normal on me like I should do things because it's considered how people do things . If this makes sense .

Even if you are not a walk over, people will try it on you....because not everyone is raised well mannered, considerate etc....

about work, I have found this to be true about every single workplace I have ever been too. So I just ignore the people, nod and smile and talk to the ones I want to. Out of work for being too sensitive, so....

am I ND? Not sure. Most people think I am not but you start thinking that all moral, good natured and considered people are such exception these days, that as well we might just go together with the gentle souls from the ND community and shove one big down to the NT arse world

How do you even watch your back???? Even if you don't gossip or say anything to anyone, they keep doing their evil thing

its not normal, its you family being arseholes

Or another example . Arranged to meet at the zoo at 12.30, I got there at about 12.25 they still haven't arrived at 12.45 range them and they hadn't even left the house and it takes 30 mins for them to get there . It is very rude ,but then they say I'm beeing difficult and inflexible