AIBU to be worried about my 3 year old’s social skills before starting school?

[Alwaysonone25]

My DD is 3 (4 in August) and I’ve noticed a few things recently that are playing on my mind. She can be a bit of a tattle tale with other children - if someone won’t share, won’t take turns, or does something she doesn’t like, she comes straight to an adult rather than trying to sort it out herself.
She also seems to struggle with social cues/boundaries. We were on holiday recently and she really wanted to be friends with another child who clearly wasn’t interested. The child kept walking away and DD kept following her and trying to sit next to her. The other child got annoyed, but DD genuinely didn’t seem to understand the hints.
She is an only child, so maybe that’s relevant. She does go to preschool and they haven’t raised any concerns, though I’ll ask them.
I’m worried because she’ll likely be one of the youngest in the school year and I’m wondering if she’s emotionally ready to navigate friendships/playground dynamics etc.
AIBU to be concerned, or is this all completely normal for a 3 year old?

Sounds normal for a 3 year old and she just needs adult help/scaffolding to manage those scenarios. Step in and give her scripts to use.

She is only 3 years old. I think it's a good thing that she tells adults when something is wrong/unfair and I wouldn't discourage her from doing that, if she tells you then you can help her to sort it out. It does sound like you're expecting her to be worldly and wise beyond her years. It takes time to read social cues and going to school will help that.

This sounds very normal for a 3 year old. If she's in preschool they will be doing lots to encourage social skills and would very likely have raised it with you if they had any concerns.

I have a 3 year old. Your child sounds normal :)

Similar to my child, and she has a 7 year old brother.
Role play- we do it with her figures and dollhouse. I pretend to be the annoying kid and she responds as the other kid, and then we swap. She loves acting it out and it has definitely helped.
I also act it out with her. Today I was holding her toy and she came abd took it off me so I went in to acting mode abd acted like any 3 year old would. She thinks it's hilarious, rhen I see her using the words or behaviours with her brother.

I don’t think framing it as being a ‘tattle tale’ is very helpful. My DS is a few years older but I still reiterate to him that if someone, including one of this friends, is making him sad or doing something that he doesn’t like, that he should seek out an adult and tell them. For the most part, I would expect the adult to ignore petty squabbling but I want to empower DS to feel like he can speak up whenever he’s uncomfortable.

As for the interacting with other children, I think every parent has this, or some kind of similar, concern before school. DS is in Year 2 and it’s still the only thing I want to know really from his teacher and whether he’s struggling socially at all.

Normal. Don’t put her off discussing other people’s behavior with you, or dismiss it as telling tales. You want her to come with you with any problems and you can help her work through it. Keep it simple obviously - ‘oh Jack doesn’t want to share? Well that’s ok, you can take your turn when he’s finished’ she’s coming to you because she doesn’t know what’s ok and what’s not.

Not picking up on social cues also normal. You step in there and say ‘i don’t think this girl wants to play right now, come with me and we can read a story’ or similar.

Normal, it's possible kids with siblings will have had more experience at the balance with other kids but there's nothing to indicate she won't learn. Pretty much nobody starts school fully formed, she'll be fine.

Sounds very normal for a 3 year old. Of she’s telling you irritating little things that you don’t really need to be told about just say thank you for telling me. You don’t want to discourage her from telling you the little things or she may not tell you the big things. In terms of sharing little ones seem to think sharing is you must give it to me now! I always encourage my nursery ones to say please can I have a turn when you’ve finished.

Sounds totally normal. She is a tiny child - don’t except too much from her! Gentle guidance and reminders about social rules, respecting boundaries, etc are all that’s needed (along with modelling this behaviour yourself, of course)