AIBU to feel like I am grieving my living parents?

[Workingmum85]

This sounds so strange but AIBU to grieve my parents when they are still alive?

time is going so quick, on holiday atm at a campsite I came to 7 years ago with my parents and daughter. Parents were then 62 and 71, fast forward and I’m back here and feeling like it’s yesterday, yet in that time again they’ll be 76 and 84 and it’s hit me that sooner, rather than later, my parents won’t be here and the thought crushes me

I literally can’t imagine my life without them and I know it’s inevitable but I’ve almost started grieving even though they’re happy, healthy and well!

Completely natural to feel that way but I’d use it as a reminder to enjoy their company. ABBA had it spot on when they sang ‘Dance while the music still goes on’. I try to take that view but it can be hard.

Anticipatory grief is weird. I hated seeing my mum get older every time i visited and in a way it is easier that she died unexpectedly and suddenly. Didn't have to see her in a nursing home.

Very normal. I feel this a lot, especially as the health scares and slight infirmity just keep on coming once they’ve started. Lots of my friends and peers (mid 30s to mid 40s) have lost one or both parents.

Good to read this as I am feeling exactly the same. My parents are older than yours and apart from a recent bump in the road, have been very healthy. They are my support, my friends and I speak to my mum every day. I have lots of other people in my life but nothing compares to your mum. I find myself worrying that I won’t cope without them and that life won’t have the same meaning or joy. I have been so blessed but the panic of losing them is horrendous.

It’s a hard hitting realisation but agree, until you’re there, enjoy every moment you can. You only need read the thread further down from a woman watching & waiting for her mum to die in a hospice to appreciate that.

My dad died when I was in my early 20s but my mum will be 82 this year and although she’s incredibly independent and generally well for her age, these past few years she has aged tremendously and I hate it. I’m a severely disabled widowed parent with no friends and I’m unable to work. As a result, other than Mumsnet and my 11yr old DD, my mum is the only person I speak to and the only one I call or go see! Call me selfish but what on earth will I do?
Every time she doesn’t answer the phone I panic. If she does pass at home, it undoubtedly will be me who finds her as my brother is never around. I’m terrified.

So yes, OP! Solidarity

A few years back, the thought of losing my parents overwhelmed me and the thought was unbearable. In the past couple of years, they have aged so much and have, for the first time in their lives, experienced lots of health issues. Their lives have become very small. They are both in relatively good spirits considering, but life is tough for them. My mindset has changed a lot. I know it’ll be incredibly upsetting when they die, but I no longer feel like I want them to live forever. My biggest wish now is that they’ll have a decent quality of life until they die and that they have a quick and painless death when the time comes.
I can’t believe how drastically my thoughts and feelings have changed as they have aged. I guess that’s the power of love!

I thought you were going to say they are unwell....no make the most of them as they won't be here forever.

This is nature's way of making you appreciate every moment......and also sadly preparing you for the inevitable.

Your parents could well live another decade or more. Don't waste a moment.

I can understand this, and YANBU at all.
My DF dropped dead this year, and it has caused me anxiety about my DM going the same way. Infact, my DM is also scared about just suddenly dying too.

I speak to DM every day, and I can't imagine how I will manage if that stops.