To think some stay close to parents for inheritance?

[QuietGreyObserver]

This might sound harsh but it’s something I’ve wondered about.

Do you think there are people who don’t actually like their parents but still maintain contact because of the financial aspect, whether that’s inheritance or future security?
I’m not saying it’s always the case but it does sometimes feel like there can be more going on than just the relationship itself.

AIBU to think that happens?

Inheritance is never guaranteed

It could all go in nursing fees and stuff

Also if the parents were that bad you would not want to spend time with them for possibly getting some money in the future

I think a lot of people just like seeing and spending time with there parents

Despite what you read most families get on fine together

I'm off to see my parents soon, not because I might get an inheritance off them

But because I want to see them

They are also going to feed me and I'm hungry and I would rather their kitchen gets messy than mine,

Yes I agree with op

Some will but I doubt it is the majority - based on nothing other than the people I know IRL. People stay close to their parents for all sorts of reasons but for inheritance is definitely in the mix.

Yes. My ex is banking on his parents inheritance despite my attempts to explain care home fees would wipe it all out. He’s planned his future around it.

Why would you start s post like this

I know people who don’t actually like their parents but still maintain contact because they are their family and giving up would cost them more (in an emotional sense ) than going forward.

Not everything happens because of money

Yes, i'm no contact with my mum. My brother keeps up contact although very limited in hope of inheriting. My grandma hasn't got long left (cancer, late 80's) which is where he hopes the money will come from. Our dad passed away years ago, leaving us nothing (not even anything to put towards his funeral which I paid for - i loved my dad very much) and our mum is remarried to a younger man who will outlive her with no will in place. My mum keeps very limited contact with my grandma as her husband can't stand her.

It's all very twisted and sad. I'm glad to not be involved in it.

They could leave it all to charity.

Why does anyone start any post ?

I think most peole ( outside of the world of mumsnet where people go No contact for often very tenuous reasons) love their parenrs and want to have a reltionship with them
Even when their parents are not perfect.

I think if things are bad enough no money in the world will have you keeping that relationship going. Both me and my brother went NC with my mum and she died about 6 years later. We kissed goodbye to over half a million. She left it shared between her nextdoor neighbour and some old friends who she hadn’t seen for 30 years. I literally couldn’t care less. Was never my money and it was worth half a million anyway. Best six years of my life at the time.

I think it's definitely the case for some. I have one friend who falls out with her parents every few months and never has a nice thing to say about them, but she's an only child and they are wealthy, so she always makes up. If they weren't im pretty sure she would have gone no contact years ago. They also pay for a lot of things for her/her kids, so there's immediate financial gain, not just inheritance.

Yeah, sure there are people that do that. There are pretty much people that do everything!

I think most people care about their parents, though.

I hope they do.

What a way to see the world. Are you a very negative person in general op?

I guess there are some people who do just as the opening poster suggests.

but I think there are many many more who stay close to their parents because they love them.

but then, I'm an optimist and at 75, despite the terrible things I've seen that people can do to one another, I still believe that most people (much like me) want to be good and try to be good. We don't always succeed, but the point is, we try and keep trying.

This.

I mean, I’m sure it has certainly happened, in the sense that most things have happened at some point, but I don’t think it’s widespread.

I know a couple of people who admit they do. I wouldn’t say they stayed ‘close’, but they do stay in closer contact that they would like and it’s purely for the money.

Well, if dementia or any other long term diseases are involved that would soon tell you who's there for love or the money.

My mum is 8 years into her Alzheimer's journey and now advanced stages, my sister and I help care for her and support our father, not for any future inheritances but because we love our parents and hate seeing them struggle so much.

It's far from a walk in the park, I'd actually go as far to say it's hell. I just can't imagine many money grabbers staying for the long haul.

Do you know people who do this OP?