To think “lost interest in sex” is often about resentment, not libido?

[EmotionBeforeDesire]

People want intimacy without emotional connection or repair.

I definitely think it’s just not fancying them a lot of the time.

Resentment and unforgiveness can definitely cause the not fancying.

For sure in my long ago past it was resentment more than anything.

Having been treated like a servant or not spoken to all day because of some misdemeanor (in his abusive eyes) all day I just didn’t have anything left to nurture our intimate life when we got to bed.

Often but not always.

My ex husband and I didn't have sex for two years because I couldn't stand him touching me from resentment.

My husband and I haven't had sex since Christmas and I love the bones of him and think he's gorgeous. I still get butterflies when he smiles I just adore him. We have a toddler and both work full time and I'm just so exhausted I can't be bothered, I love cuddling him though. Also I have endometriosis and sex is quite painful for me so when we do it I only half enjoy it because intermittently there will be sharp pains and we have to rejig things so it's really only worth it if I'm really really really in the mood, which at the moment I'm not because I'm so tired. Hopefully when she's older and less work we will get a sex life back but I certainly don't resent him and he doesn't resent me, he takes really good care of both of us.

I got fed up with all the household mental labour. He was one of those "if you just tell me I'll do it" types who couldn't understand why it was so frustrating for me. He was also exceedingly kind and sweet (and handsome), but after months of him just never seeing the bathroom needed cleaning or the recycling went out on Wednesdays or the bird food was running low and needed to be added to the shopping list...

Always acting like the grownup was not very seductive for me. It was a big shame really.