AIBU to expect adult children to remember their mum’s birthday?

[Cool45]

Should adult kids remember mums birthday??? Not been needy and I'm not one for fuss or going mad but I so do for everyone one, husbands family don't send a card step kids not even send a text in the 6 years we have lived together 🤔😳, and even my own son that I have a brilliant relationship with doesn't even bother to send me a card🤔😕 *
Wondering weather just to make a point out of it this year as tbh I'm fed up, aibu???

I’d be very hurt - you’ll have loads come
on and say they aren’t bothered but it’s selfish and thoughtless in my opinion.

Your own children, definitely. Step kids of 6 years - are they all adults and have they lived with you? If not, maybe they won't remember. Do his family send him a card? I wonder if they just aren't "send a card" type people

Tell them it's important to you if you want a card.

Do you get messages / phone calls / gifts?

My child will ring txt etc and at a later date a small gift but step kids don't txt card not anything and dad says nothing I have done alot fir them emotionally and financial and it feels like a kick in the teeth tbh, plus they do know as partner reminds them!

If it annoys you that much, let your partner deal with them - gifts, financial support, the lot.

My adult kids always remember my birthday. I wouldn't expect any less tbh. We've always made a fuss over the birthday person in our house, so they've grown up with that.

With your stepkids, I wouldn't bother if they didn't reciprocate.

So your child does call and text to acknowledge your birthday and brings a gift when he sees you. That seems fine.

As for step kids, I don’t think you can really expect it. I’m not really interested in my step parents and don’t bother with their birthdays. I don’t expect anything from them either.

I understand what Yr saying but to not even txt or message do you not think it's rude and disrespectful when they literally live two mins up the road

I don’t. The way I see my ‘step parents’ is that I didn’t choose them. I was made to live with them growing up because of my parents choices but there is no real connection to them other than that. I’d rather have not lived with them but that wasn’t something I had a choice in. Now that I’m an adult, I get to choose what I do and their birthdays aren’t something that are important to me. I don’t expect mine to be important to them either. I get on ok with them but I just see them as my parents partners, not as step mum and dad.

Try not to let it bother you and just live your life.

They may remember it, but not want to celebrate it or feel it’s their responsibility to acknowledge. It’s your husband’s job, surely, maybe his family and your son, but that said, anyone who wanted to acknowledge someone’s birthday, would. It sounds like it’s not a priority for any of them.

That said, I have never in 20 years acknowledged my stepdad’s birthday or sent him a card or a present. He’s not my dad. In fact, I don’t even know when his birthday is and had to ask my mum so I could compare it when I stumbled across his criminal record online (a whole different thread 😩).

Your actual adult child -YANBU and from what you’ve said, he does remember
Your adult step children - YABU