Neighbour nightmare

[Teenmumgoingcrazy]

Neighbours grrrr
not really an AIBU but need to vent.
relationships with our neighbours have been sour for sometime now, fault admittedly on both sides but we’ve accepted the friendship is done and moved on. Last year they built an extension, we too were planning one so when it came to party wall agreements etc we agreed on theirs no quibble under the agreement we’d be doing ours soon and they’d agree the same. Their build was long, noisy, expected yes, but starting work at 7am etc which isn’t allowed and we mentioned repeatedly to builders. Their builders rerouted pipe work down our wall with no permission, they dug into our property without permission, they moved underground pipe work onto our property without permission and damaged paving slabs in doing so, they dropped tools and a saw onto our side and didn’t retrieve it or notify us - thankfully my I noticed before my puppy attempted to pick it up. All of this was questioned with their builders but we were treading carefully and being tolerant as our build was coming up. So we’re almost at the end of our build and they’ve been hideous! Complained to builder as he’d parked outside their property on main road - no access issues no private parking etc so essentially not a problem, complained to roofer as he started work at 7.50am she told him they’d woken her up, they hadn’t as my husband passed her at 7am taking kids to school! Just now the husband said to mine that he has video evidence that he told my kids (they’re 15 and not idiots!) to throw stuff in his garden?! My husband didn’t, wouldn’t. When asked to see footage he wouldn’t show it, when asked what was in his garden he ‘didn’t see anything just heard the noise’ it’s all just utter tedious bs, why have people got to be such arseholes!’

I guess it's because you did a lot of complaining to their builders, justifiable by the way, and they are getting their own back. Making stuff up is just stupid tho. Hopefully you've explained the 'poor relationship' to your builders.
If they continue with complaints, just remind them of all the things their builders did. Other than that, just ride it out, it will hopefully be over soon.

I’m not even sure their builders would’ve told them! What they did were massive errors and I’d be stunned if someone had the gall to make minor complaints to our builders considering what theirs did! It’s just so flipping petty it’s insane, just want to live our lives doing our thing without neighbour stress urgh

I imagine they would have told them. Either way I'd have considered the cordiality to have ended when the neighbours did those things during their build to be honest. No idea why you wouldn't bill them for any damage done or put a stop to unacceptable elements of the build such as the lack of permission for pipe work. Given their ongoing behaviour I would be considering revisiting that process and taking action against it if they continued to behave like idiots.

Can you not just...avoid them? Speak to them only when actually necessary regarding the build and leave it at that. Tell the builders they are problematic and not to engage either but pass on any concerns to me if they really feel a need. Honestly OP if it were me I would just get on with the build, I wouldn't answer the door to them or chat with them anymore.

I certainly wouldn't be engaging in timewasting conversations with them about completely made up nonsense, what's the benefit of asking for footage and extending the conversation if you know the things being said aren't true and their motivation is simply to cause difficulties, there's no point discussing the parking location of the van if it is legally parked, they will just have to accept it and they know that.

We’re totally keeping to ourselves now and have been for a while - we didn’t instigate the conversation today he started ranting over the fence at DH 🙄 he asked for the footage because he was annoyed being accused of something he didn’t do

You have my sympathy, I have annoying ranting neighbours (mother and son) who have one rule for themselves and another for us. The mum even regularly still rants about the lady who lived in the house before us who has now been dead for 15 years! My approach is I will be cordial and say hello back etc, but the second they start ranting I ignore them and walk back in the house. I've told them If they want to speak to me politely and have a two way conversation I will, but I won't be spoken to like a pos. I know I'm not a terrible neighbour and have peacefully lived next to many different people before these arseholes.

This week's example is DH has been taking down an old outbuilding in our garden. He did a couple of hours on Wednesday and then another couple of hours on Friday, both times in the middle of the afternoon before 6.30pm. On Friday, the man leaned out of his window swearing and threatening my DH, because it was disturbing him watching TV and apparently it's illegal to do building work after 5pm🙃. He was threatening to come over and kick his head in, call the Police etc 😆, completely unhinged behaviour. This was the day after them having new windows put in, so I could hear drilling and banging from their side for most of the day. Never once occurred to me to be annoyed or go over there and threaten them!