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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

am i wrong for being annoyed when my friends bring their bfs into EVERYTHING

7 replies

idkwhyimhere · 01/05/2026 21:03

hiii not a mum but got told this was a good place for advice 🥲
am i wrong to be pissed off at my friends for bringing their bfs into everything. bc today we were js talking and then my friend was like “do you guys wanna come london w me at some point?” so obviously we’re both like yeah and the other one goes “oh we could do a double date with our bfs” they know damn well i don’t have one and never have so i feel like crap abt it. then the second agrees forgetting i’m literally right there it rlly pissed me off bc my other friend always does it she got pissed at me bc i said i didn’t want her bf coming to a concert when id planned it already and she suddenly decided she “didn’t feel safe” and now they constantly go on and on “i miss my man” and it gets to the point where i just don’t care. you chose to do long distance…
before we met the other friend she did this as well and i was on abt going london for my bday and she was like “oh can _ come” i was js like yeah why not but now it’s annoyed me bc she thinks i invited him once now he must come to everything bare in mind he lives no where near here. it’s expensive for him to even get here and then before we went london she was like “hey is there any chance you ca pay for his ticket and i pay you back” i said no to that bc um no he can pay for himself like everyone else…
I try and make it clear i don’t want to listen to stuff about their bfs bc they go on for AGES. It’s not like i can just go with someone else at these are the people i trust the most yet they seem to be to absorbed in their relationships to talk to me and their other friends.
Am i overreacting here?

OP posts:
TimeForTeaAndG · 01/05/2026 21:06

Not overreacting but the response you need to start using is "let's just make it a girl's night/trip" or if they say oh let's double date I'd be making a very sarcastic comment like oh yaaaaaaay 5th wheel for me....again.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 01/05/2026 21:06

How old are you? This happens as you get older people sometimes cling to and merge into their partners, some never do anything apart. For the London trip, if they’re good friends why couldn’t you say ‘girls I would love it if we could do a girls only trip it’s so differnt when boys are around even though your boyfriends are lovely ‘

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 01/05/2026 21:07

Or if they suggest double dates say yes as long as one of their man brings a fit single man

idkwhyimhere · 01/05/2026 21:14

did that. got ignored.

OP posts:
idkwhyimhere · 01/05/2026 21:15

they just seem to blur me out and ignore it

OP posts:
Comedycook · 01/05/2026 21:18

Yanbu . I have a DH but am so fed up of everytime I see my friends that they bring their husbands along. Totally changes the dynamic and id like just female company sometimes

Zov · 01/05/2026 21:22

You need new friends sorry @idkwhyimhere When someone gets a new bloke/starts a relationship, they do change, and don't want to socialise without him. Things change again after a few years of marriage, and most women are happy to socialise without their husband. I wouldn't dream of taking my husband along when I meet my BFF for a coffee, that's batshit!

But yeah, YANBU. I would give them a wide berth for a while, and try and makes some new friends.

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