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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Woman with kids demanded park bench?

123 replies

Crystalnightsky · 01/05/2026 17:33

Something weird happened.

mum, 73 and I are sitting on park bench. its more like tiny small open green area with one bench.

We are talking and suddenly we feel someone staring at us. We look up and see a woman with a stroller (kid maybe 1 years old) and a kid maybe 6 years old.

For a moment I’m confused and even think I might have said something offensive because she just stands there and stares not saying a word and the child seemed angry, giving us this like very angry look. I ask how can I help you. She continues staring. He then starts waving his hand like move. And says SHOO

I then realise she wants the bench. I say oh you want to sit down? Mum and I move and she sits down.

the whole time while kid playing she keeps staring at us.

she then starts putting her kids toys like right near/next to out feet even though there is plenty of space.

for a good 20 minutes literally she just keeps staring at us as we talk. Head turned towards us. It was making me very uncomfortable and I thought after leaving but my mum says no. I am not leaving. We are staying.

I smiled and said hi. She continues staring at us not saying anything. My mum asks if we can help her she continues staring. Not saying a word.

she then sits there staring at us for another 10 minutes then leaves, leaving rubbish behind.

what was that? Was she expecting us to give up the bench and leave?

the tiny green area has no gates or anything and you can see who is sitting on bench from very far away on the road even before entering. So she saw bench was busy before even entering.

OP posts:
peonysinthesun · 01/05/2026 17:38

She sounds entitled and probably thought she could make you feel uncomfortable enough to leave. Well done for staying put and not being intimidated.

mindutopia · 01/05/2026 17:39

I think she was probably a bit unstable combined with general rudeness. Well done for not doing the usual British pushover thing and leaving to avoid conflict. I wouldn’t have even offered her a seat. 😂

Smartiepants79 · 01/05/2026 17:40

Yes, that’s exactly what she wanted. I’d have been staying twice as long I had planned to if it was me!

Heronwatcher · 01/05/2026 17:43

I think at “shoo” I might have reacted rather differently like either “are you having a mental health crisis- shall I call an ambulance” or “sorry I don’t respond to animal commands, please go away and stop harassing me and my mother.” If necessary followed by “Or I’m calling the police”. Why an earth did you let her sit next to you when she was obviously either exceedingly rude and/ or bonkers

2dogsandabudgie · 01/05/2026 17:55

I hope you went after her and gave her the rubbish back. That would really annoy me. Are you saying it was the 6 year old who told you to shoo. I hate rude kids so would have asked him why he was saying it.

ThejoyofNC · 01/05/2026 18:00

God knows. Are you still allowed to call someone a nutter?

TheLargeOnes · 01/05/2026 19:44

She sounds mentally unwell.

Arlanymor · 01/05/2026 19:45

Strange people exist - I wouldn’t give it any thought beyond that.

IWaffleAlot · 01/05/2026 19:49

This reply has been deleted

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FourCheese · 01/05/2026 19:52

YANBU obviously but I wouldn’t be as passive if someone was as blatantly rude, unbelievable person

Myfridgeiscool · 01/05/2026 19:52

We had this on the riverfront once. An elderly lady decided that we weren’t allowed to use the bench we were on and sat down in the middle of us and our things…despite there being other empty benches nearby.
Completely bat shit!

MyCottageGarden · 01/05/2026 19:56

@IWaffleAlotMental health what? What is wrong with you? Millions of people struggle with varying degrees of mental health issues and live functioning lives! Wow

dentalflosser · 01/05/2026 20:01

OP, your Mum is a legend, please tell her that. If anyone started bench intimidation like that I would make sure there were no young children in earshot and told the parent or rude adult to fuck off.
I’m not a people pleaser. You and your Mum were on the bench first, you and your Mum made space to accommodate the CF. If someone was still staring like that at me and my Mum (I am very protective of my 76 year old Mum) I would have pointed at them and done a lengthy tinkly laugh at them. Plus told them to take their litter home with them.
Her little boy must be being brought up to say shoo a lot if there are people in his way.

MaidMiriam · 01/05/2026 20:03

Sounds quite mentally unwell. I think you did well to engage neutrally.

igelkott2026 · 01/05/2026 20:07

peonysinthesun · 01/05/2026 17:38

She sounds entitled and probably thought she could make you feel uncomfortable enough to leave. Well done for staying put and not being intimidated.

This. It's a bit like commuters who get the hump that you're standing on the bit of the platform where the door opens and come and stand really close to try to get you to move.

Don't.

AutumnAllTheWay · 01/05/2026 20:08

Says shoo 😂

Mad people

Glad you stood your ground!

XenoBitch · 01/05/2026 20:08

Wait until you decide to give bingo a go and sit on a regular's table.

fabstraction · 01/05/2026 20:12

I'm afraid my first thought is 'cultural differences', to put it euphemistically. Was the mother clearly British by birth? Did they speak at all? It sounds like they didn't say anything, aside from the boy trying to literally shoo you away. Very impolite and bonkers behaviour. I'd probably have left just to get away from the situation, but it's better for society when people stand up to rude weirdos.

NewGirlInTown · 01/05/2026 20:15

I thought that too. Was English spoken? Apart from ‘shoo’ of course.
I absolutely would not have responded positively to that encounter.

NimbleHam · 01/05/2026 20:48
customer service customers GIF

Pollard moment

NimbleHam · 01/05/2026 20:50

I sat down at a McDonalds in central ldn to eat and some tourist kept screaming at me in a foreign language because she wanted my seat. People are so fucking weird.

Lavenderandbrown · 01/05/2026 20:54

Jeeez people are so rude. The staring is worse than the bench sharing. It sounds intentional from your post or someone who is very very odd with their social interaction

canuckup · 01/05/2026 22:21

Did she actually speak? Or just gestured???

Greyblankie · 01/05/2026 23:09

fabstraction · 01/05/2026 20:12

I'm afraid my first thought is 'cultural differences', to put it euphemistically. Was the mother clearly British by birth? Did they speak at all? It sounds like they didn't say anything, aside from the boy trying to literally shoo you away. Very impolite and bonkers behaviour. I'd probably have left just to get away from the situation, but it's better for society when people stand up to rude weirdos.

My thoughts exactly. I would have told the kid not to “shoo” me and then completely ignored them.

Greyblankie · 01/05/2026 23:10

I certainly wouldn’t have moved though, fuck that. I’d have stayed there longer than I initially intended to.

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