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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To request a police welfare check?

4 replies

SlimPickens · 01/05/2026 17:02

Context: DD's friend ( both 13) doesn't feel safe at home and has asked for my help. I've read messages on my DDs phone between them and the gf talks about wanting to kill herself, about her parents threatening to slap her, and about the gf witnessing domestic abuse between mum and dad. DDs friend seems in a dark place and I'm worried.

This morning my DD asked if her friend could come stay the night as her parents have taken away her shower and snack "privileges" for her behaviour and going on her devices in secret when she's on a ban. I was informed that dad knew about this plan to leave as he searched her bag this morning & so he picked the friend up early from school to prevent her from leaving. Said friend spent the school day in the school support hub after being sent in late to school after the bag search, so I'm not sure why they bothered sending her in.

The mum works in the field of social work and the dad used to which adds a complicated layer.

I've contacted school with the above information. They rang me but I missed the call. DDs friend is also drinking alcohol, smoking vapes, and generally just using unhealthy ways to cope. I've also told school this.

I'm now worried about DDs friend going into the long weekend and not knowing how she is. I'm considering a welfare check request but I'm also in two minds... should I mind my own business?

OP posts:
DCmum95 · 01/05/2026 17:04

You shouldn’t mind your own business but a police welfare check isn’t the correct way. I would make a safeguarding referral to your local Children’s Social services - if out of hours then call their emergency duty team.
police welfare checks are for immediate risks and they will go, check everyone is alive and well if they have concerns, and make a referral to social services. Social services are the correct agency here, not the police

OneCoralGoose · 01/05/2026 17:07

Welfare checks are for immediate risks so someone currently been attacked or held hostage or at risk of self harm. Once everyone is ok they leave. Its social services that need to intervene her as its an at risk child

AgnesMcDoo · 01/05/2026 17:07

Call NSPCC for advice or social services.

Please do something

SlimPickens · 01/05/2026 17:34

Thank you. I'll do a MASSH report instead

OP posts:
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