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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel annoyed my friend bailed on our day trip last minute?

18 replies

TheWildZebra · 01/05/2026 11:55

visiting my friend in a Spanish city, and have been remote working during the day and sightseeing after work. I’ve seen the highlights in the evening.

my problem is, we agreed to take today (Friday) off and do a small trip outside the city. The only issue is last night my friend said she had a deadline (submitting a paper) today and she needed to work on it. Ok fine - I thought maybe she would get up early and finish so we could leave the house by midday. Nope - she’s still working and needs “more time”, and only rolled out of bed at 10am.

I’ve gone out for lunch and a coffee to read my book, most things are closed since it’s a bank holiday so there’s less to do.

but AIBU to be annoyed that I’ve used my annual leave to basically spend the day on my own in a city where I’ve seen all the things I want to, when the intention was to spend time with my friend. I travel back tomorrow.

I don’t want to raise it with her right now because she is always overdramatically stressed about deadlines. I will do later.

im just irked because i feel like it doesn’t respect my time, and she is often expecting me to fit in around her.

OP posts:
UpDownAllAround1 · 01/05/2026 12:01

Can’t think of anything nicer than spending a day on a own in the sun on a bank holiday

Duvetdayneeded · 01/05/2026 12:02

Why not just go by yourself?

Sartre · 01/05/2026 12:03

I’d just go by myself.

HelenaWilson · 01/05/2026 12:04

Can’t think of anything nicer than spending a day on a own in the sun on a bank holiday

But op could do that in her home town on Monday. She didn't need to use a day's leave and take the time and expense of travelling to a different country.

InterestedDad37 · 01/05/2026 12:04

Just make the most of your day, and accept she can't do it. You have the right to be miffed, but don't let it spoil your day 👍
Go back and see one of those places again, there'll be more to discover about it.

Nearly50omg · 01/05/2026 12:04

Duvetdayneeded · 01/05/2026 12:02

Why not just go by yourself?

She might as well have done a holiday somewhere else nicer then and saved her money!

Original poster
TheWildZebra · 01/05/2026 12:11

thanks for the replies - I’m very happy to spend time on my own, it’s just that I had made the very deliberate effort to visit her abroad, and also agreed to take time off when I have very little leave.

now I’m cooling down I’m enjoying it a bit more but honestly after waiting until midday when she said she’d be done, my enthusiasm to do a day trip an hour away is waning :(

OP posts:
Funnywonder · 01/05/2026 12:14

Some of these responses are laughable. It’s not the activities or sightseeing or whatever that she’s disappointed about. It’s the fact that she had arranged to spend time with her friend. How is spending time alone the same thing?

I would be annoyed OP. It sounds as though your friend hasn’t managed her time very well and probably could have let you know much sooner that she wouldn’t be available. There isn’t much you can do, other than tell her you’re disappointed. Is she normally the type to cancel plans at the last minute?

Original poster
TheWildZebra · 01/05/2026 12:23

Funnywonder · 01/05/2026 12:14

Some of these responses are laughable. It’s not the activities or sightseeing or whatever that she’s disappointed about. It’s the fact that she had arranged to spend time with her friend. How is spending time alone the same thing?

I would be annoyed OP. It sounds as though your friend hasn’t managed her time very well and probably could have let you know much sooner that she wouldn’t be available. There isn’t much you can do, other than tell her you’re disappointed. Is she normally the type to cancel plans at the last minute?

Thanks! You’ve hit the nail on the head.

usually she is very reliable. She’s not good at managing her time though. She’s just texted me saying she’ll be finished in an hour so we can enjoy some time together this afternoon

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 01/05/2026 12:24

im just irked because i feel like it doesn’t respect my time, and she is often expecting me to fit in around her.

You know she's always stressed about deadlines. She told you last night she had a deadline today. I would take that as cancelling, given that.

It's ok to be annoyed. She took your time for granted and left you hanging when you had plans. But it sounds like she's got a history of doing that.

Maybe it's time to stop fitting around a somewhat unreliable friend. Do your own thing. You chose to spend your limited leave visiting her but she's not on leave and has things that need to get done.

sunflowersandsunsets · 01/05/2026 12:25

I wouldn’t have wasted my morning waiting around for her.

dairydebris · 01/05/2026 12:28

Did you arrange the trip to spend time with her or to see a city and were grateful for her giving you a free place to stay?

A bit annoying but I'd let a good friend off this as shes obviously not preferring to work over hang out with you. A deadline is a deadline and it is a weekday.

HelenaWilson · 01/05/2026 12:31

it is a weekday.

OP said it's a bank holiday where she is.

dairydebris · 01/05/2026 12:36

HelenaWilson · 01/05/2026 12:31

it is a weekday.

OP said it's a bank holiday where she is.

You're right. I change my mind, its annoying.

Original poster
TheWildZebra · 01/05/2026 12:53

dairydebris · 01/05/2026 12:28

Did you arrange the trip to spend time with her or to see a city and were grateful for her giving you a free place to stay?

A bit annoying but I'd let a good friend off this as shes obviously not preferring to work over hang out with you. A deadline is a deadline and it is a weekday.

Oh very! We often do place swaps. She stays w me a week in the uk and makes plans to see people she knows locally. We’ve spent all bar one evening together, and it’s very clear that I’m here for her, not the city.

OP posts:
Lurker85 · 01/05/2026 13:09

I’d be annoyed she got up so late as she essentially chose a lie in over keeping her plans with you. If she’d have gotten up a few hours earlier, you would have had more of your day together.

Morrisdancer24 · 01/05/2026 13:15

Stop being dramatic. They have a deadline to stick to. Why didn't you just log on and cancel your day off, or half of it even. You're staying with your pal probably for free I'd assume, so you are already getting free digs supplied. Who GAF. It's literally one day 🤣

BuildbyNumbere · 01/05/2026 13:49

Seems a pointless visit if you are both working … why didn’t you both take some time off?!?

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