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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think police word of advice is just them admitting it didn’t meet legal threshold

39 replies

Divadown77 · 01/05/2026 09:06

As surely if they actually believed it would hold up in a court they would do it. Also the threats that get made such as if anymore reports come in things will be different surely it still might not meet legal threshold.

OP posts:
Blimms · 01/05/2026 09:07

I don’t think that’s true. It isn’t even the police who decide whether to charge or not.

KvotheTheBloodless · 01/05/2026 09:09

Not always. It's sometimes for an offence that's relatively low level (street harassment, for example) and prosecution is very expensive and time consuming. For many people, they act thoughtlessly, and a word from the police will stop them reoffending which is the main goal.

Swiftie1878 · 01/05/2026 09:09

It means they’re on the police radar (for what that’s worth these days!)

Madarch · 01/05/2026 09:09

Depends.

For something like stalking, someone standing outside someone's house might trigger a word of advice. Someone stands outside someone's house every day for a year might result with a charge.

ScaryM0nster · 01/05/2026 09:09

A pattern of activities is different to a one-off.

Court is hugely more resource intensive than advice.

SoScarletItWas · 01/05/2026 09:11

This is too cryptic OP.

Have the police given you a word of advice and said if any more reports about you are made, it might be different (eg caution or arrest, whatever)?

Or are you commenting on someone else and you believe their actions are wrong just not ‘bad enough’ to hit some legal threshold (whatever that means).

Divadown77 · 01/05/2026 09:12

SoScarletItWas · 01/05/2026 09:11

This is too cryptic OP.

Have the police given you a word of advice and said if any more reports about you are made, it might be different (eg caution or arrest, whatever)?

Or are you commenting on someone else and you believe their actions are wrong just not ‘bad enough’ to hit some legal threshold (whatever that means).

Given me words of advice for something I was provoked for and didn’t instigate.

OP posts:
PrizedPickledPopcorn · 01/05/2026 09:12

Not true. If they can change someone’s behaviour by speaking to them, demonstrating the boundaries without the cost of prosecution, that’s great.

If the person’s behaviour doesn’t change, then more needs to be done.

Divadown77 · 01/05/2026 09:13

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 01/05/2026 09:12

Not true. If they can change someone’s behaviour by speaking to them, demonstrating the boundaries without the cost of prosecution, that’s great.

If the person’s behaviour doesn’t change, then more needs to be done.

Depends really do they give the persona. Chance to give their versions of events.

OP posts:
Swiftie1878 · 01/05/2026 09:14

Divadown77 · 01/05/2026 09:13

Depends really do they give the persona. Chance to give their versions of events.

Even if ‘provoked’ (as you put it), if you broke the law, you broke the law.

iamtryingtobecivil · 01/05/2026 09:15

It will also depend on supporting evidence, how much an how reliable this is. If your only witness is a drunken passerby is less reliable.

Thy may look at the wider context and give someone the benefit of the doubt if meeting the legal threshold is questionable.

Police in part do decide if they have ‘enough’ before submitting it to CPS

Jellycatspyjamas · 01/05/2026 09:16

I don’t think provocation matters tbh, particularly if we’re talking about violence, aggression or things like doxing. They’re telling you that you’re walking a very thin line, listen to them instead of trying to minimise whatever happened.

SoScarletItWas · 01/05/2026 09:16

Swiftie1878 · 01/05/2026 09:14

Even if ‘provoked’ (as you put it), if you broke the law, you broke the law.

Agreed. Did they also speak to the other party?

Take this as a sign to back off and not allow them to provoke you in future.

Divadown77 · 01/05/2026 09:18

SoScarletItWas · 01/05/2026 09:16

Agreed. Did they also speak to the other party?

Take this as a sign to back off and not allow them to provoke you in future.

No course not she seems to have the police under her thumb like she does every other service. They never say anything to her she asked someone to bring in drugs of course the poor girl that brought them got into trouble not her

OP posts:
Divadown77 · 01/05/2026 09:18

Jellycatspyjamas · 01/05/2026 09:16

I don’t think provocation matters tbh, particularly if we’re talking about violence, aggression or things like doxing. They’re telling you that you’re walking a very thin line, listen to them instead of trying to minimise whatever happened.

It absolutely does

OP posts:
Blimms · 01/05/2026 09:19

Divadown77 · 01/05/2026 09:18

It absolutely does

Occasionally it does, but not usually. Without outlining the offence nobody can properly advise.

CharSiu · 01/05/2026 09:20

It’s is not the Police who decide who is prosecuted. Plus even if provoked they are letting you know your behaviour is unacceptable. You haven’t written what you did.

The version of events is not what is at question here. It’s your own

PoppinjayPolly · 01/05/2026 09:20

Divadown77 · 01/05/2026 09:18

No course not she seems to have the police under her thumb like she does every other service. They never say anything to her she asked someone to bring in drugs of course the poor girl that brought them got into trouble not her

In to where? Are you an inpatient just now?
of course the person who supplied the drugs should get into trouble and isn’t a “poor girl”!

SoScarletItWas · 01/05/2026 09:22

Divadown77 · 01/05/2026 09:18

No course not she seems to have the police under her thumb like she does every other service. They never say anything to her she asked someone to bring in drugs of course the poor girl that brought them got into trouble not her

Sounds like you need to take a lot less notice of her and stay well away.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 01/05/2026 09:22

Divadown77 · 01/05/2026 09:13

Depends really do they give the persona. Chance to give their versions of events.

It’s not about versions of events and judgements. It’s about breaking the law.

The person who supplied drugs when asked is a drug dealer.

If the other woman did something that broke the law, she may have been ‘told’ as well. But she isn’t going to tell you that and neither are the police.

Divadown77 · 01/05/2026 09:25

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 01/05/2026 09:22

It’s not about versions of events and judgements. It’s about breaking the law.

The person who supplied drugs when asked is a drug dealer.

If the other woman did something that broke the law, she may have been ‘told’ as well. But she isn’t going to tell you that and neither are the police.

Well surely taking them drugs and wanting to have them is illegal?

OP posts:
Divadown77 · 01/05/2026 09:25

PoppinjayPolly · 01/05/2026 09:20

In to where? Are you an inpatient just now?
of course the person who supplied the drugs should get into trouble and isn’t a “poor girl”!

I was at one point yes

OP posts:
Divadown77 · 01/05/2026 09:25

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 01/05/2026 09:22

It’s not about versions of events and judgements. It’s about breaking the law.

The person who supplied drugs when asked is a drug dealer.

If the other woman did something that broke the law, she may have been ‘told’ as well. But she isn’t going to tell you that and neither are the police.

Well it is

OP posts:
Tryagain26 · 01/05/2026 09:27

Divadown77 · 01/05/2026 09:13

Depends really do they give the persona. Chance to give their versions of events.

If you persistently break the law your versions of events won't stop you from being given a caution or being charged.
If it goes to court the magistrates/judge will decide whether your explanation should affect the sentence.

Swiftie1878 · 01/05/2026 09:28

Divadown77 · 01/05/2026 09:25

Well surely taking them drugs and wanting to have them is illegal?

Wanting to have drugs is not illegal - we don’t have ‘mind’ police (yet!)

Being a drug dealer IS illegal.