Ineffective boss

[Whatstfpoint]

This is probably more of a rant than anything. My manager is ineffective, to put it mildly. Does not know how to manage, let alone lead. He has about 10 direct reports. Some senior, some mid level and some junior. No clue how to organise team, workload, even annual leave. Everything is up to chance and issues get addressed when they happen (a lot), when some could very easily have been anticipated.

He cannot, absolutely cannot lead. It is chaos. No direction set. No expectation communicated. I don't think I ever received any constructive feedback. Just little digs like 'you want perfectionism' when i tried to speak to him about an issue i was seeing that i thought was quite serious. He will go around offering 'help' to people, which usually means doing a small part of their job. He also messed up something that was very important to me. I can't go into detail as outing.

Im sick of this man and cannot hide it. He is one of those insecure men who present as overly confident in their abilities. I can see through the BS. My second job is to manage him. Im so tired of it. I fear I will soon let rip and get fired for something I am going to say.

You say I should leave? I earn shitloads and there are no jobs out there. If I stay i am on track to retire early.

Oh this is tough. I’ve worked for a boss like this, I ended up doing a ton of his work (at four pay grades lower) and taking a not insignificant hit to my professional persona for something that he and another manager had fucked up. How far away is retirement?

Focus on getting your work done. Every manager has their weaknesses.

I had one like that it was awful. I made myself ill doing half his job for him and desperately trying to find ways to improve things but there was no fixing it. Ended up doing some therapy and realised I couldnt change him or control the situation but I could control my reaction to it. Took a big step back, let him fuck up, concentrated on doing my job. Nodded along when he spouted utter bullshit and eventually he was managed out. Just concentrate on doing what you can within your sphere of influence and give as little energy as possible to him

Im only mid 40s. Probably another ten years as I want to cash in then. I have outgrown this man. I know I am a leader myself. I could bring structure and stability into this team quite easily, lighten everyone's load and stress and facilitate people's growth instead of meddling with little jobs all the time.

He is not showing anyone anything (other than 'I can run you through this program', which is laughable). Instead of giving people direction/expectation and lets them run with it he does jobs himself.

I am at a level where I can handle my own shit and more, but he's not able to distinguish between seniors and juniors. Everyone just gets lumped in together and for most this means they are getting treated as more junior than they are.

I am a woman too, obviously. So have probably gained the 'difficult middle aged woman status'.

He is only a manager on paper. The guy cannot even communicate a change in holiday booking procedure. Obviously things went tits up at which point he asked me to not take my leave. Because he is so weak I said absolutely not. I am going to take my leave.

Yep. I get it. I am in CYA mode. Paper trail and everything.

The other day he wanted to walk me through a programme where we enter some data and click a few buttons. I thought okay, probably something has changed. Nothing has changed. I have been using it for two years and he walked me through it like you do when you show your 79yo nan the computer. 😂

Honestly, just smile and nod. Then write everything down. Its so painful when you have to report into someone who is painfully inept but In my experience if you kick up a fuss you end up being seen as the difficult one

If he's that bad, why haven't the company got rid of him?

Just stay in your lane and keep your head down. Enjoy the money, and use your spare time (since you’re so good at your job) planning your retirement rather than trying to manage him.

I wonder that too. He has some very senior and competent people in his team who probably prop him up. They know their stuff well and make the company $$$ and this obviously reflects well on him too. Obviously he likes to think that he has something to do with it, when he really hasn't.

I don't know. I feel I need to manage him or he'll dump more work on me, ask me to not take my leave I booked and undermine my visibility to senior management. The thing is that I am bored. I thought I could just do this job until I retire but I cannot. I am bored out of my mind. So I need a slight change in responsibilities/something new without having the leave the company and it feels like a project the size of the moon landings to get him to remember our conversations or some goals we set.

I think of he had someone in his team leading the big products who could not hack it he'd be out very quickly. He just cannot manage performance or remember anything. I am really stewing today. I know it will pass, but there have been a few things lately where I thought that if I was his boss and saw this I would just view him as a liability to the company. I want to expose it so badly, but you are all right of course in having to stay in my lane. But these things have impacted me negatively and I am just not great at smoothing over it anymore.

Look up quiet quitting, and do this.
Can you drop a day or even two, one day less doesn’t make much difference to take home pay,
and find another part time job, even start self employment and this will help with the boredom

I wonder if you’re hoping to oust him somehow and take his place, OP? You absolutely shouldn’t be managing him, let his errors catch up with him and don’t protect him from them. Does it matter that he’s undermining your visibility to senior management? Is this a job you want to coast in until retirement, or have you perhaps outgrown it and you see getting him out and replacing him as an easy way to achieve the something new you’re looking for?

Heck no, I am not keen on his job. I just dream of working without the constant chaos and have a clear vision how this could work. I have to manage up for sure. Visibility is important because he isn't going to advocate for me and in times like these there are constant redundancies. Not because the business isn't doing well but to maximise shareholder returns. Now isn't the time to coast. I need to make sure senior management is aware of my contributions and my boss isn't going to help with that. Partly because he is so forgetful and partly because he probably won't praise me for something he isn't able to do himself. It must sting I am sure.

He did it again today and went into mansplaining territory. I just can't learn anything from him and I certainly don't want his job and inherit his chaos. Imagine inheriting a team that knows no boundaries or expectations. There are a bunch taking advantage without consequences and others are just completely self motivated and are excellent contributors.