To think extreme weight loss is not taken as seriously in overweight people

[Weightloss88]

I have a friend who’s lost 8 stone started off at almost 24 stone. She’s lost the weight by not eating only chicken and apples sometimes and living off no sugar fizzy drinks and energy drinks. This has been done in about 9 months. Aibu to think if it was smaller person doing this the fact it’s an eating disorder wouldn’t be ignored but because she’s overweight people are telling her how well she’s doing

Someone at 24 stone is very likely to aldready have an eating disorder. You don't get to that weight by having a healthy relationship to food.

Yes I know. I said so on the previous page. Still, people saying she’s better off aren’t acknowledging that

You can’t possibly know she’s better off. You have no way of knowing whether she would’ve developed any condition that obesity puts you at higher risk of.

OP you are correct it can be dangerous, people can die from effectively starvation whilst still technically overweight if they have a lot to lose. I think something about the body essentially digesting itself and particularly the walls of the heart can thin and lead to a heart attack - it is an issue but provided her calories aren’t too low it is, as you say, probably more of a vitamin deficiency risk than anything more serious.

But I think it must still be better to be a healthy weight with an ED than obese with an ED. At least in terms of the damage visceral fat causes and the pressure on your joints. Neither is good of course and treating the ED would have been better, but in terms of choosing between two evils...

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it is such a weird attitude “yeah she got an eating disorder but at least she’s thin”

surely what actually matters is the severity of the eating disorder, which you can’t tell by looking at someone

Loads of vitamins in meat

This is totally bizarre. OP isn't commenting on the weight loss as much as how it's being achieved... (and it's not a problem or judgement - it's a concern).

Why is someone asking why OP was concerned with the loss of weight and not the gain of weight?!?!? Or accusing people of not realising that being overweight can be a sign of an ED too. Did OP say in her post that she didn't have a concern about her friend gaining weight? Is it not possible to be concerned about both but just comment on the current problem?! Have I missed the comments that say this?!

The fact that most people here are cheering on the fizzy drinks diet is quite frankly alarming. It's not the calorie deficit she's putting herself through, it's the fact that she's not eating and powering herself on energy drinks (with a bit of chicken and apple thrown in occasionally). How are people saying that this isn't an eating disorder simply because she needs a deficit to lose weight? Again, she's living off energy drinks!

Also, what's with the multiple ridiculous comments like "obviously it's unhealthy for underweight people to lose weight" - the comment was made about people showing more concern for a "smaller person" following the same diet (the "smaller" person might be at the high end of normal or even marginally obese). This diet wouldn't be good for anyone, regardless of size.

These responses just highlight the problem OP is having. How can she show concern and try to help her friend towards healthier choices if seemingly most people are calling her out as jealous and judgemental and telling her friend she's "doing a good job"?!? OP, I really feel for you. You are in a difficult position and clearly have your answer. Obviously most people (on mumsnet anyway) do think that obese people should focus on losing weight over healthy choices. Clearly only people of a certain size deserve to be encouraged to think about a healthy diet 🙄.

I mean obviously I did support her losing weight and we started going on walks together but now she very disordered which mars sesne with he history. Yes she obviously still did have an eating disorder at 24 stone but also there are healthy ways to lose weight and non healthy. Thank you for seeing the point I’m trying to make

To be fair OP your initial post did come across kind of like you didn't think she deserves the praise for managing to lose a lot of weight. Correctly you've further pointed out that she isn't doing it in a very healthy or safe way and she needs medical help for her to lose weight and still be well and healthy. My weight isn't the best either but it is better than what it was. At my heaviest 5 years ago I was very close to 22 stone and edging into size 26 clothes. For me being under 5ft tall that was definitely not a healthy weight. My marriage ended brutally and I was hugely depressed and not eating properly. Within 8 months of splitting from my now ex husband I had dropped to 13 stone. Whilst I felt a lot better and my mobility has massively improved I know now that I didn't lose weight by any major lifestyle changes or changes in my eating habits and if I'd carried on dropping weight the way it dropped off for me I'd probably be dangerously ill by now. I'm now at a size 18 in clothes so I'm still overweight but I also know that starving myself isn't the way to go about losing more weight. Hopefully your friend can get the help she needs to lose and maintain a healthy weight