AIBU to dislike being asked to sponsor colleagues and friends?

[Needablueskyholiday]

I wanted to gauge popular opinion on being asked to sponsor colleagues / friends etc. - the exception being kids.

Do you happily oblige? Or do you cringe inside, that it’s £xx you hadn’t budgeted for and you really wish you’d not been put under pressure to agree. To add to this, often giving more than you feel comfortable for fear of being judged as tight.

AIBU - Don’t be tight, it’s for good causes.
YANBU - I hate sponsoring people. I try where I can but hate the pressure of being asked - often by the same people.

YANBU not to donate, but YABU to think asking politely is unreasonable.

An email saying "Jane is running the London marathon for Macmillan, here's Jane's Justgiving page if you'd like to sponsor her" is not pressure. Jane rattling a tin in your face while you're trying to make a brew is pressure.

I will donate if I know someone, especially if it's someone in my team and they've been training hard for something that for them is going to push their physical and/or mental limits. One of my team recently did a charity bike ride and although the distance wasn't huge, this is someone who couldn't even ride a bike a year ago and I respect that. Someone who already does marathons for fun doing a popular marathon for a charity just so they can get a guaranteed place and not have to take their chances in a ballot? Nah, not sponsoring you mate!

I’m the course of my working years I have been asked to purchase
MLM type products
sponsor overseas medical trips
adopt a family at Christmas for many years
buying candy or good old tat someone’s child was selling as a school fundraiser
sponsoring hiking biking running swimming to raise money for charities
had door to door sales of school fundraisers including gift cards and coupon type books

i don’t purchase sponsor or contribute to any of them now. I simply say….I have my own charities I choose to support. Or my children have their own fundraisers
And I actually do donate to charities of my choice and this includes handing out money to street corner pan handlers ( not sure of the correct name) near my son’s uni house. I have a couple of favorites I look for and always keep money in my car for this reason. My son doesn’t like it and MN probably doesn’t either but I want to do it.

I found saying no pretty much puts an end to the asking but saying yes seems to only encourage repeat asks .

Agreed.

I remember once, in a previous job, someone was taking round a sponsor form for his son's spelling bee to raise money for something for the school. As this person was relatively senior I think a lot of people felt uncomfortable saying no. However, one of the more outspoken colleagues said "Hang on, doesn't your child go to a private school?" When this was confirmed to be the case he asked "Why should I subsidise your child's education at a school I couldn't afford to send my kids to?". There was no answer forthcoming to that and the sponsor form was put away.

I felt similar a few years ago when kids from a local private school were doing a bag pack in the supermarket to raise funds for their school cricket trip to South Africa!

Oh gosh yeah I hate it too seems constant it probably someone every week! Or thier child

If I ran a business I would actually have a policy on this.

People are running their lives to a tight budget these days to meet their goals and aims. Before I even get paid, every £ has a job allocated to it in the plan for next month. A fiver here and there theoughout the month can end up knocking something out of whack.

Luckily my colleagues dont go in for this kind of stuff but there are workplaces where people are being asked for money all the time. And because it is the workplace people are concerned how it would look to say no.

I'd have a blanket no soliciting money policy.

Hate it!!! It’s such a cringe, especially when it basically involves a day in the sunshine. I ignore ignore ignore now.

I might show support to the person by giving them money for whatever event they were planning- but only occasionally and only people who I actually know and like.

Random people, colleagues I don't know for random charities and general jollies - no chance.

Which thread is it about? The OP hasn’t made any reference to another thread?

You are allowed to be inspired by another thread…

I don't normally sponsor people. The only one I felt strongly about was a friend wo has mental health problems set up a gofundme to help him with debt, I couldn't afford to donate myself but I shared the page on my social media which he thanked me for.

I don’t like asking people for sponsorship. So if I’m doing something to raise money, I will make sure there’s a way to donate online and share the link via social media and/or email and make it very clear that no-one is obliged to sponsor me, but if they would like to support x charity, here’s the link.

I don’t tend to do these things very often though, maybe once every few years now.

In terms of giving, I try to give if i can - but i have to be honest, id rather donate to a colleagues birthday/retiring/leaving/maternity etc collection than a charity pot where a good percentage of what I donate ends up in the CEO’s pocket. I’m happier to sponsor people raising money for local charities too because they tend to see more of the money! So a friend raising money for their kids school to build some new play equipment is more likely to make me want to sponsor them than someone raising money for a huge charity like Children In Need.

If things are tight, I might tell them that I have a standing order that donates to that charity monthly already - that feels a better way of saying no than “I can’t afford it”.

The worst ones are people asking you to sponsor their child for "pyjama day" etc.

Do you happily oblige? Or do you cringe inside, that it’s £xx you hadn’t budgeted for and you really wish you’d not been put under pressure to agree. To add to this, often giving more than you feel comfortable for fear of being judged as tight.

Your problem is that you feel "pressure to agree" and "fear being judged tight". If you can't afford it say no. If you don't want to do it then don't. You are an adult and you should be able to resist a bit of social pressure.

Personally I don't understand the phenomenon at all - as a runner I have no idea why me going on a run would have any impact on people giving money to charity? I don't need anyone I know to do any outlandish thing to give money to my chosen charities, I donate because I believe in their causes! It's baffling. Nonetheless if someone I love decides to do it I'm happy to encourage them and donate. If a random colleague decides to do it I'm also happy to ignore. I don't feel judged for that. Like I said, I already donate to my chosen charities, and I assume most people who can afford it also do that.

I loathe it! Organised begging!
First, I dislike the way the person usually plonks the sponsor form down in front of you, thrusts the pen in your hand, and presents it to you like a “fait accompli”.
Then they usually announce “oh every else is sponsoring me £10 a mile” thereby further pressurising you into a certain amount. Inevitably you’re paying for the event itself (think skydiving, bungee jumping, shark cage diving etc) and even if it’s not as glamorous or as exciting as those it’s still an event that they want to do in the first place so it’s a roundabout way of getting you to pay for it.
I once remember being sat in a meeting and somebody announced at the beginning that their wife was climbing Mount Kilimanjaro or whatever, and he’d be passing a form around. I ignored it and at the end of the meeting when someone asked if the meeting was over he looked me straight in the eye and said “No, THEY’VE not signed my form yet!” whilst pointing directly to me. WTF!? It wasn’t even a regular member of staff, it was a guest speaker who we all met for the first time.
On another occasion a woman at work asked would I sponsor their daughter for a sponsored swim? After a polite “No thank you” from me, another woman asked me why not? Sorry what? Now I have to justify my reasoning? I didn’t realise I had to give validation for what was a request and not a compulsory obligation. Then what? I’ll explain my rationale then they’ll sit in judgement of me and weigh up whether my reason is good enough for my non-participation? How about this for a reason why - I don’t want to! How does that sit with you?
You are NOT being unreasonable at all.

I am sponsoring my grandson, and I am a bit annoyed at other family members who have not yet donated. Even a fiver would be fine.

Sponsoring him to do what?

my parents sponsored my niece to run 5k. Her younger cousins regularly do parkrun. I wouldn’t donate to my niece tbh. But my parents would.

Only do it for best / close friends

I don’t seem to have the pressure that some people on here have and if I did then I wouldn’t sponsor out of spite.

Generally I am happy to sponsor people if they are doing something that isn’t easy for them and especially if it’s a local charity. Both my DH and I volunteer locally and I would prefer if my money went to local charities but I will sponsor when people have personal reasons for the bigger charities.

I do not sponsor those whose children want to go on these big trips to Africa etc. although I will buy cake if you’re doing a bake sale 😋

Genuine question: why should they or anyone else donate their own money?

This is the attitude that annoys me about sponsoring...why are you annoyed people aren't donating? Why is it any of your business if people choose not to part with their money?

When my kids were little and there was numerous sponsored stuff, we used to just stick names on the form up to £20 and pay the money ourselves rather than bother family and friends

I hate it. Everyone seems to be asking for money via gofundme etc these days for some trek they’re off on. I ignore them.

I don’t really get asked but I always offer to sponsor if I find out someone is doing something for charity, but this is because I have a budget for this and part of my charitable giving is set aside for this type of thing.

Totally different situation if you don’t have the money though and you should never feel pressured!

I think being directly asked isn’t on, if that’s what is happening? It should just be mentioned but no follow up/issue if you don’t donate.

On the other hand, if it is just being mentioned (in a team meeting or email etc) and you are just creating the “pressure” where non exists, then YABU!

It’s like a wedding invite, it’s an invite not a summons!