To ask if anyone lives on a small Scottish Island?

[NewStartFamily]

Specifically Eday or Tiree but thoughts and opinions of any others very welcome!

DP and I are considering a relocation from the south coast to Scotland, somewhere with land we can use.

We have found a couple of properties that we like but we’d like to hear thoughts from people who live there about how life works in the smaller communities and places where not everything is on your doorstep.

We have one home educated son aged 9 so nearby schools not an essential consideration.

Completely agree with museumum's points.

Really importantly - every single island is unique. Even the north and south of the same island can feel worlds apart. Our language and culture is really important, and thankfully is becoming more widely recognised and protected.

One of the main things which this thread demonstrates is that you'll get so many people (mainlanders, visitors, people newly relocated to islands) telling you with complete confidence what a place is like, and they are completely off the mark. I can see utterly false statements in this thread like that about my own island.

Do your research. Visit multiple times, at different times of year.

For the island I'm from (but I can't speak for others) I wouldn't expect you to be greeted with open arms by everyone. Housing availability and affordability is a nightmare due to holiday homes and second homes.

It is an incredible place to bring up children, their primary school education (at the right school) can be fabulous. Outdoor learning is one day a week, every week, year round where mine went. But mine were born here, island life is all they know. It can be very different with kids moving from elsewhere.

Fuel, food and cost of living is more expensive, but you weigh it against the benefits you get. The weather is wild, the winters are dark, the summers are manic. The slower way of life is a myth. Islanders work hard to be able to afford to exist here. Yes some people have remote jobs, but others work multiple manual labour/service jobs to get by.

If you last two winters, you'll probably make it. But locals can, respectfully, usually tell who won't.

Why do people use emotive language like " pulled him out" when school doesn't work?
Those winters would do for me. There is significantly less daylight than int he South.
Anyhow OP it sounds an excitimg venture.

This.

My family moved to the islands when I was 13. Looking back it felt like quite a selfish decision and it was an awful time to be completely uprooted. I absolutely hated it and moved back to the mainland when I was 18. Means my children now don’t get to see their grandparents much due to the distance.

I'd add that I can't speak for the two islands you mention but there is - and always has been a significant problem - with teenage drug taking and drinking in several islands. There's nowt else to do.

I'd advise you to rent a house there and let yours in England for a while, to see how you like it before making a permanent move. We moved from the Home Counties to West Wales. Swapped our three bed semi for a detached small holding with acres of our own land and although I loved our new house, I absolutely hated living there, for so many reasons.

After some long miserable years, we moved back to England thank goodness but lost at least £150,000 in the process of moving to Wales and then moving back again. Proceed with caution is my advice.

(I am aware you are thinking of Scotland, not Wales, but it's just my thoughts on making a big move)

Absolutely- anyone who claims the shorter days in the winter in Scotland don't matter clearly haven't lived here! I'm central belt and commute to work - in winter I leave home in the dark, get to work in the dark and drive home in the dark. I sometimes see people on Style & Beauty saying they wear sunscreen year round & wonder where they live! There's a reason why vitamin D deficiency is so common in Scotland.
On the flip side the long days in the summer are awesome - I find it weird being down south and it getting dark early in the summer.

DH and one of my DC were on Benbecula last year for a few days. Very quiet place. They also spent time around Loch Maddy.

I have read a book called Benbecula. Truly fascinating read about the murders which took place on Benbecula.

I live in rural Scotland (Im from a farming background) a beautiful very peaceful area but unpopular with tourists I love rural life, I live in a small village 160 people at best nearest town with shops 20 mins drive nearest city 2 1/2 hours.
I have friends in England who come and stay all think they live rurally but all say I couldn’t live where you live too remote.
I love it but for context I’m not really interested in shopping or nightlife hate musicals/pop concerts etc I like the odd trip to the cinema but it’s not essential I am a self confessed art nut but realistically you have to live in London to satisfy that need. I also not a social butterfly I’m happy with my own company.
So Ive friends who live very rurally on the north west coast, it’s stunningly beautiful, peaceful amazing wildlife but and it’s a big but to get petrol they have to drive 1 hour and 45 mins they have a tiny village shop but anything beyond the local paper crisps cheap bacon and sliced bread again a 1 hour and 45 mins drive. Nearest proper hospital ie not a minor injuries a proper A and E 3 1/2 hours. I suspect from where your looking anything urgent/cimpicated you’d be airlifted straight into the QE at Glasgow. My friend had cancer never saw any doctors face to face only online. Nearest cinema 3 1/2 hours. It rains ALOT on the west side of Scotland don’t even begin to think it’s like England, the wind blows routinely and I mean blows, in June when I was last there I had a winter waterproof wool hat gloves and scarf on we were hiding from the wind behind a barn. Also don’t under estimate how dark it is in the winter your talking 7 hours of daylight maximum, combine that with endless rain snow and wind. There’s probably no secondary school on the islands most weekly board at Oban. Lastly there are few jobs outside of tourism unless you are a farmer or offering a trade.
My friends will tell you lots move to where they live hoping for a “better life” all “love the outdoors” arrive with hopes and dreams but few stay.

Mind and give Fish from Marrillion a wee 👋 as he is a crofter on one of the islands on the Outer Hebrides.

Why exactly there? Go somewhere rural in Cornwall

What should I say? Deregistered would be correct, but the school tried to hold on to him and tell me I couldn’t home educate (despite previous experience) so to be fair it was a case of having to pull him away from it.

Thank you again everyone for their thoughts and experiences. I have read everything and considering everything for discussion with DP.

Also laughing at the idea of running from the police, I’m not that exciting. There is a lot of ongoing trauma relating the area we are in that no amount of support and therapy is going to shift so that is a factor for wanting to move. Wanting to have outside space and options for what we do with it is important to all of us. And that’s something we’d have to relocate for.

It’s always English people looking for the Good Life up in the highlands and western isles. Has been that way as far back as I remember. Our village is 90% English incomers looking for a better life instead finding alcoholism/loneliness and poor health.
It’s bleak. Long winters. Cold summers.
Your son will be isolated on the islands if he doesn’t school there. Not as many opportunities to meet friends through clubs etc.

That book was instrumental in informing us when we relocated. It’s about Lismore which is beautiful and tiny. At least not a long or expensive ferry, but definitely a pita.
I’d consider not an island. There are many parts of Scotland which are remote, beautiful, amazing communities, but also don’t cost
£££ and two days to get to a hospital.

I’m not from Scotland but have followed the disaster that is the ferries. I also notice when ordering online that there businesses that exclude delivery to some islands

7 days longer with no specific day at John Lewis I don’t know postcodes but I’d guess

M&S is similar and doesn’t deliver at all to some places or it takes a lot longer

Do you have family and would they be able to travel to you (both time and would they cope driving and the ferry. It looks like they would not be very independent if they come.

A couple of practical things just Scotland in general school dates are different (eg if you want to see English families with children in the summer. This is years away but I’ve heard that although Scottish universities are free for Scottish students they may find it hard to get a place so be travelling far (not sure if still correct).

I’d consider not an island. There are many parts of Scotland which are remote, beautiful, amazing communities, but also don’t cost
£££ and two days to get to a hospital.

compared to SE England, pretty much anywhere outwith the central belt would tick that box.

all this and why exactly on a tine Scottish island?

Job wise we’re both jacks of all trades

I am not from Scotland but I do live in Cornwall and jobs are very difficult to come by and those that are available are typically low paid compared to the rest of the country.

I can imagine rural Scotland is not going to have many jobs available and unless you have a specific profession which they’re in need of or can work remotely, then you might really struggle.

An OP started a thread about moving to Cornwall just a couple of days ago and I think you might benefit from reading it.

If you didn’t have a child, I’d say screw it and just try it but I can imagine many people would struggle there.

Why these areas and not somewhere else in the UK?
Or in Scotland but not so rural so you have the best of both worlds.

It's a bit much to relocate children to places so remote they still point at planes, though, isn't it? Different if you're born there, but it's bound to be a big transition to make.

Another thing is that Gaelic is widely used, are you open to learning it?

we have family even further north, Shetland, and life is not easy but it’s lovely, i would live on Shetland mainland but not the outlying islands

I asked about those locations and have looked at mainland Scotland (definitely not against this- found beautiful places) but I’m not against elsewhere either (have done whole country searches on RM etc) but so far nowhere else has come up that has appealed.

When I was about 8, @NewStartFamily, my parents decided to move us to a tiny village on the side of a hill in Shropshire, because they wanted somewhere with a big garden. It worked perfectly for them - they loved the area, mum had a massive garden, dad grew vegetables, raised hens for eggs, and got interested in local history.

I hated it. Dsis and I were sent to a tiny village school - 10 pupils in the Infants and 18 in the Juniors - where every single other pupil had known each other pretty much since birth, and we were total outsiders. I was bullied in the Juniors and then worse when I went to secondary school. It only stopped when I went to Sixth Form college, by which time the life long damage to my mental health and self esteem was irreparable.

We had no social life - there was no transport to or from the village, apart from a bus to the local town on Wednesday morning then home the same afternoon - during school hours so no use to teenagers. The nearest bus stop with an hourly service in each direction was 2 miles walk away, and the tickets were way, way above my pocket money. Mum didn’t drive, and dad commuted an hour’s drive to work, and home, so didn’t want to do extra driving at the weekends - so there was almost no chance of dsis or I going to a friend’s house, or a party or even a school social event. We were very isolated - I think dsis did have one good friend who lived close by, but I didn’t even have that. I spent my teenage years sitting alone in my bedroom, reading. It was horribly lonely and isolated.

It could have been better, if my parents had had any thought for the impact their decision to move would have on us, but from my point of view, all they cared about was getting their rural idyll. I think they just assumed we would be happy, and didn’t bother to check whether we were.

When dh and I were considering a move, from Essex to near Glasgow, with our three dses, we sat down with them and talked it all through, to make sure that they were happy with the move, and we made sure we picked somewhere to live that would be good for them as they grew up - good transport links, not isolated, a good secondary school, and a good sized community, so there would be plenty of opportunities to make friends.

This move might work for you, but please learn from my experience - think long and hard about what you are giving up for your son, and how much you will have to do, to support him in having a full social life and friendships.

It seems OP that things have been very challenging. School hasn't worked out, on going trauma in the area.

This seems a big leap. Anyhow , hope it goes well. I a somebody who stalks the seconds of light after December 21st, something of an obsession.

If that is the Graeme MacRae Burnett book, it is heavily fictionalised. The account of the murders is correct but everything else isn't. E.g. Malcolm, who spends his time drinking and wanking after the murders in the book, actually married and raised a large family in Liniclate. Marion didn't "vanish" but remained in Liniclate for the rest of her life. GMB missed out the oldest sister, who was married with children and who lived close to the murdered parents, to make the family seem odd and isolated.

Can I just reassure everyone that obviously this decision (if one is made) would have the input of DS. I really am just gauging the information and everyone’s experiences at this point. I’m particularly taking on board everyone’s advice re spending significant time in the area before making firm decisions.

Seems she wants to take a SEN child perhaps away from any possible supports and helps....what happens when the child grows and need employment or benefits??