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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

At what age - did you start allowing your child to bring a friend on holiday?

28 replies

988ujk · 29/04/2026 09:39

Dc is an only and is currently finishing primary. Have been thinking about holidays and whether at some point, we might start bringing a friend on our holidays so it isnt just our only with us oldies. At what age did other people's kids start inviting a friend with them on holiday and how long for?

OP posts:

123becauseicouldntthinkofone · 29/04/2026 10:29

I think my son was 8/9 but it was UK only not abroad as he was very shy and struggled to make short term friends.

Bushmillsbabe · 29/04/2026 10:37

We are thinking about this. We have DD10 and DD6.
DD6 happily goes to kids clubs, makes instant friends with no issue
DD10 we noticed on our last holiday was at an inbetween place - too old for kids clubs but too young to go off on her own/hang with the groups of teenagers. So we have thought about letting her bring a friend next time we go away. But cost is an issue - if I invited someone I would expect that we paid for most of the cost.

Original poster

988ujk · 29/04/2026 11:01

Yes, our kid is very happy to go to cubs/scout cams and weekends away. Was considering starting in secondary but then what if we dont get to know the other families. Some of Dcs friends might go to the same secondary but not his closest friends.

OP posts:

SalemSaberhagen99 · 29/04/2026 11:40

God I could never do this, I just wouldn't be able to relax having the responsibility of someone else's child (not the point of the thread, I know!) i just couldn't

WydeStrype · 29/04/2026 11:43

I just wouldn't.

Our family time on holiday is so important. Now ours are older we rarely all come together and relax - someone always has to be somewhere!

My dc have lovely friends but they morph a bit when others are around and most of their friends are picky about food or don't like swimming or have sleep issues or whatever. It would completely change the dynamics of a trip and I definitely wouldn't be able to relax in the way that I want to.

ToadRage · 29/04/2026 11:50

I never brought a friend on holiday but i have a brother. An only child friend of mine would take me to stay with her grandparents but they never took me abroad. My husband is an only child and he took a friend to his parents caravan occasionally but again never took them abroad.

Scarlettpixie · 29/04/2026 11:53

I never did this. DS (now 19) never asked and I never felt the need. We didn't do sleepovers either. Just had friends over during the day. My son very occasionally went to sleepovers with friends but this wasn't a big part of what he and his friends did/wanted.

ainsleysanob · 29/04/2026 11:54

Mines an only and he’s never asked to take a friend! He’s 14 now and we have asked if he’d like to but he’s never been arsed and is quite ‘sociable’ with us anyway! In all honesty, I’m quite happy about that because we tend to go on long haul holidays where I wouldn’t be 100% happy being responsible for another persons child that far away!

thephoebejeebies · 29/04/2026 11:55

I want to do this and am seriously considering it for my 12 year old daughter. What is stopping me is the fear that I will book it, pay for it, agree it with the parents and then the girls will fall out / drift apart / change friendship groups as girls do at that age. Not a problem for fairly last minute bookings but I tend to book ahead.

IwouldifIcouldreachit · 29/04/2026 11:56

I never did. DD is an only, so when she got to tween-age and had outgrown the holiday clubs, I changed the type of holidays we went on to ensure they were better matched to her preferences.

Portacloy · 29/04/2026 11:57

Could you try it on a UK weekend trip and see how it goes? Or holiday with another family with kids same age? Might be a bit old for that now - we did that when ours were younger - we have 4 so do our friends - loved the chaos of loads of kids together.

As teenagers we allowed them each to take a friend which was easier as we have boys and girls - only for one week of the holiday - second week was just us 6. The offer is often reciprocated so mine have been to lots of other places with other families.

Original poster

988ujk · 29/04/2026 12:01

We already travel with our friends and their kids but as the kids get older - I think this might fade a little bit as they are less keen on going away with random teen they dont necessarily know all that well.

OP posts:

LightYearsAgo · 29/04/2026 12:03

SalemSaberhagen99 · 29/04/2026 11:40

God I could never do this, I just wouldn't be able to relax having the responsibility of someone else's child (not the point of the thread, I know!) i just couldn't

Me neither, is it normal practice to take other peoples children on holiday? It doesn't sound very relaxing to me

Denim4ever · 29/04/2026 12:09

Ours has never wanted to. He spent the rest of the school holidays seeing friends and socialising and enjoyed our 10 day family holiday. He's at uni now and still joins us for time during our UK holiday cottage hols.

Fraughtmum · 29/04/2026 12:09

Teenagers

HotSpotNot · 29/04/2026 12:11

I know two separate families with only children and they fairly often all go on holiday together! Then no issues with looking after someone else's child, and the kids can play together and so can the adults!

maudelovesharold · 29/04/2026 12:12

We never did, I would have hated the responsibility! Ds1 and 2 were close enough in age for it not to be an issue, and although there was a gap before we had ds3, he was always just happy being with his older brothers. We never went on hotel holidays as a family - always cottages here. or villas abroad, so no holiday clubs etc.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 29/04/2026 12:53

I have had in mind that DS (now 12) might want to bring a friend on holiday soon, bearing in mind that his sister will be leaving home next year for Uni.

However, tbh it’s not something I really want to do, especially as a single parent - taking two teenage boys on holiday would make it not a holiday for me! Also it is very expensive.

I really wanted to have a friend come on holiday with my family when I was a teen as I had two younger brothers who were sort of a pair, and I was on my own. My parents were open to it, if the family could pay the child’s way, but of course that never really panned out. It’s a bit of a different undertaking for a couple with three kids to take a teenage girl with them, as opposed to a single Mum taking someone else’s teen boy!

What would be great is if I had a Mum friend whose son got on well with mine or one of my son’s friends had a single Mum who’d be up for it (whichever way around) but sadly we don’t have another pair like that in our lives!

Missmillymollymandy · 29/04/2026 12:59

Never.
Agree with pp who mentioned too much responsibility.
We also found the family time with just us and our children away from work/ school/ social pressures very special.

Bushmillsbabe · 29/04/2026 13:27

IwouldifIcouldreachit · 29/04/2026 11:56

I never did. DD is an only, so when she got to tween-age and had outgrown the holiday clubs, I changed the type of holidays we went on to ensure they were better matched to her preferences.

If you don't mind me asking, what sorts of holidays did you do from tween age? My tween loves swimming so would still need this as an option.

Original poster

988ujk · 29/04/2026 13:40

Interesting - I thought it was quite common for teens to bring a friend on holiday

OP posts:

openended · 29/04/2026 13:55

I wouldn't but I have 3 kids and that is enough to be responsible for. We have been asked though by ds's friends and I've politely declined. I don't do sleep overs so a holiday abroad is out of the question. Ds is a joy but he is boisterous and needs firm boundaries, for another parent that wouldn't make a restful holiday. I felt the request was very much about keeping their child occupied rather than taking into account my child's wants and needs.

TigerDroveAgain · 29/04/2026 13:58

We did it a few times but when DS was in his early teens: it was fine every time but I wouldn’t want to take younger kids or fusspots. You need to know the parents and the kid and form a judgement.

AppleKatie · 29/04/2026 14:01

Ive often thought about this but the money puts me off. It’s a huge amount of money to spend on someone else’s kid (and if you invite them I think you have to pay the bulk- I wouldn’t be paying for my DC to go on someone else’s family holiday…)

Also the drama if they fall out etc etc… so far we’ve just done family holidays our DC will enjoy!

hahabahbag · 29/04/2026 14:04

All depends on the family really, you need to be really aware of expectations, up front about money etc. I took DD’s friend with us but I knew her parents really well and we know their financial situation before asking and was up front about expectations (very little, we would fund most of it) with it being in the uk the extra costs were not high

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