AIBU to forward face 2.5 year old on holiday?

[HampsterCheese90]

We are going to Italy in the summer and need to hire a car to get to our accommodation and get around when we’re there.

At home my children rear face until 5 years. I don’t want to take our big expensive erf car seats on the plane. I’ve heard mixed reviews about hiring car seats from the car hire company. I can’t risk them not having a car seat at all for my 2yo when we arrive.

If I need to buy a car seat for travel I’d prefer a folding one, probably the maxi-cosi Nomad XL as we will get a lot of use out of it at home too. I think folding ones will travel better, less chance of being broken by the airport. I may take it as carry on.

But I would never normally forward face a 2 year old. She’s long but isn’t chunky. I worry about what her head/neck would do in a crash in a 5 point harness.

I could buy a cheaper rear facing seat for her and take that but it would be harder to carry and protect at the airport.

Need some help weighing up the risk. DH has driven aboard lots before but the idea of driving in Italy doesn’t fill him with joy.

You have to do what you feel at peace with. You'll know in your gut whether you feel a damaged erf seat is safer than a forward facing intact one.
When we went abroad we took a car seat and just wrapped it in LOADS of bubble wrap at the airport. It travelled fine.

We bought a Gracoslim fit for ours for this exact reason. He is now 4 and just grown out of it. As soon as you arrive at the airport it is taken from you and we travelled it on its box. I didn't find it too much hard work at all but if you can afford valet parking I would!

We have checked in our car seat twice, it's totally fine. Wrapped it in some blankets and put it in a car seat bag.

I have also hired one recently in Spain and it was quite a good expensive, quality one.

Thanks, good to hear what other people have done.

We have an old britax maxway that we don’t use anymore because it was in a very low speed bump. I might take that one for the 2 year old and get a carry bag for it. It probably just rules out going to the airport by train.

It probably just rules out going to the airport by train.

.....ok.

Whereabouts in Italy? we hired a car near lake Garda last year and the driving was absolutely fine. But I’ve heard in the South it’s a complete nightmare.

We take a joie steadi with us for our 3 year old and have done since she was 7 months old. We have invested in a padded car seat bag for it last year, but we have previously taken it in a box, or have wrapped it in towels and then wrapped in plastic. It’s been completely fine for us. She is lower centiles so will be RF in it for a while yet.

Definitely would not recommend getting a seat from the rental place, they brought some out for us as they didn’t realise we had our own and they were an absolute state.

Theres There’s the tiny seat 2 which is erf and folds for travel but is quite pricey.

IMO this is sensible. I would probably compare with Cosatto On The Go because it doesn't have an 18kg limit for the harness mode whereas the Maxi Cosi does. I know Cosatto aren't as well regarded as Maxi Cosi generally, but TBH the (non XL) version of the Nomad didn't do very well on the ADAC test - though I don't know if this is related to the seatbelt fitting.

I do like that both the Nomad XL and the Cosatto seat have isofix and top tether. There is also a Kinderkraft one and a MyBabiie one but they don't look as well made.

I would note that all of these kinds of seat have an alarm for the top tether not being connected (completely pointless BTW as you can turn it off). In the legal standard, that means that the car seat failed a less-stringent crash test with the top tether not attached. So do not be tempted use it without the tether. All cars in Europe have had to have top tethers installed since 2013, so you should be OK for this in Italy.

Italy specific: Be aware you will need an "anti-abandon device" designed to prevent accidental leaving of children in hot cars. Maxi Cosi make one (e-safety cushion) but it is £20. The car hire place might give you these, they tend to be compatible with different car seats.

They are not as substantial as other forward facing seats. They are however, much better than nothing. Much better than a high back booster for 2 year old. Much better than a seat which is so old or broken that you can't install it safely.

Whether it is more or less safe than an old style basic forward facing seat such as Britax Eclipse or the Nania 123 type seats, I couldn't tell you. They are convenient for travel though and they have passed the R129 crash tests, which those old basic forward facing seats like Britax Eclipse and the Nania seats would not (which is why they are no longer sold).

There is a folding rear facing seat called Tinyseats 2 but it is much more expensive and about 60% heavier (10kg as opposed to about 6kg).

Would something quite cheap like the Graco extend work? RF till 4.

Also, I have been forward facing my son since 18 months. I really didn't want to but we spent the first 18 months of his life with him SCREAMING the entire time, on every journey. I bumped our car once exiting the car park because I was so stressed by his screams, which is the day I decided to turn him around. It's not the end of the world if it makes the journey easier.

The one time I've rented a car seat in Italy it wasn't great, in the end we bought a spare cheaper set and left them in my cousins garage (we visit at least once a year though).

Re: the driving it really depends where you are going, I'm from the North and honestly I think it's better than driving round parts of London.

We’ve settled on taking our old erf britax maxway for the 2 year old and buying a maxicosi tanza for my 5 year old.

The tanza doesn’t require a top tether and performs better in crash tests than the nomad. I don’t want to take it as carry on for the plane anyway, it’s just a shame it doesn’t also come with a carry bag. Only £80
on amazon prime!

I had a life changing injury to my neck from a car accident so I’m probably more cautious about neck injuries and turning the children round than other people might be. In the end for the holiday I decided in the unlikely event of a crash I would like to not have the extra stress of worrying as much about the children being injured.

My older one is much chunkier than my 2 year old and we turned him round just before he turned 5 but he was quite happy rear facing until then!

Not sure why you quoted me there and if did it on purpose, what exactly is your point? That I'm not cautious? I responded to your post in good faith, telling you that insisting on rear facing him and letting him scream and scream and scream actually did cause an accident and it was likely to make me have another one.

If you think you're a better parent that everyone giving you good reasons for forward facing, well done and fuck off.

I quoted you because personally I wouldn’t forward face an 18 month old. I don’t think that makes me a better parent.

I got my knickers in a twist about whether or not to forward face a 2.5 year old and in the end decided against it 🤣 That doesn’t mean I judge people who do, I can make my own decisions without thinking less of people who make different ones.

It’s useful to gain different perspectives, isn’t that part of the point of mumsnet.

We had our car seat damaged whilst flying with it so I think you are wise to get another one.

However you say driving in Italy doesn't fill your husband with joy. How do you feel about driving there? Because either of you doing something you dont feel confident doing is more dangerous than any forward facing car seat.

So just rearrange the holiday a bit perhaps?

I’ve never driven abroad on the other side of the road but he has lots of times! It doesn’t fill him with joy in the same way driving through a city centre doesn’t. It isn’t fundamentally unsafe it’s just more effort.

We don’t need to do lots of driving once we reach our destination it’s mostly getting to and from the airport. The cost of airport transfers were significantly more than the cost of the hire car.

If you were wanting a cheap and lighter/smaller seat for the 2yo than Britax Maxway, Halfords have a R129 rear facing seat up to 105cm/18kg called Impala, which is £60 and might be worth a look.

I had to at 2 because of awful travel sickness
As both my cousin and I used to get it as a young child I will not inflict that on her.

Ooow that’s interesting thank you!

Part of my reasoning behind taking the maxway is that even if it gets thrown around a bit I don’t think anything will come off it and we should still be able to plug it into a car. Rather than a seat that slides on a base or needs a separate base to connect to the car. That was my logic anyway 😂 I plan on wrapping it in a lot of bubble wrap.

Everything mentioned in the thread has been one piece with no separate bases, although I do understand not necessarily wanting to buy a new seat that does what your current seat already will. The only reason I mentioned the Impala is really the weight/size. It is seatbelt fitted :) It's basically like the Joie Tilt if you ever came across that.