AIBU to feel hurt hearing my ex talk to someone else?

[ThisCoralExpert]

My amd STBXH are going through a divorce. I’m leaving because he has cheated on me in past - multiple times. We have agreed our divorce and will be thinking of selling the house etc soon. But.. it’s still hard to hear him talking to someone in the living room. Been together 15 years now kids together. I know I asked for the divorce but AIBU for feeling this way ):

Who is he talking to? Remember you left him for a reason - he will never change. I understand you are hurt tho - it’s raw. Be kind to yourself. He’s a twat.

This 100%!

A girl he’s met. It’s raw but I can’t wait to leave and start my life. Hard though ):

Poor girl!

how was the marriage over the years @ThisCoralExpert

Most days were good but every time he travels he would cheat. I ended up with severe anxiety and he now drinking a lot more ( a bottle of wine a day or half a bottle of whiskey a day) cos he didn’t want the divorce

No, it's perfectly normal. He's a bastard for talking to her in the living room when he knows you can hear.

one day at a time

Crass of him to do this in earshot but at the same time OP he is a serial cheat and so this sounds on form for somebody that has no interest in the feelings or wellbeing of others over their own gratification. You are well rid of him.

Of course these things hurt but it sounds as though he has caused you a lot of harm over the years and at some point when he is actually out the door and you've had time to heal you will look back and wonder why on earth you bothered with him for so long. Let him be someone else's problem.

100% this & given the OP just saying he didn’t want the divorce, he is 100% doing it to make OP jealous knowing she can hear.

poor girl & poor Op

A serial cheat and heavy drinker who is either spiteful or ignorant… Sounds like this divorce will serve you well.

He is really unkind to be speaking to his new love interest when you're near -sounds like he's punishing you. Stay strong, OP. You are doing such a hard thing.

Ugh, you’ll be well rid of him soon. What an insensitive prick to be doing this so soon and within earshot. He’s trying to get to you, so don’t play his stupid games. Just pity the next one he’s trying it on with while he’s still living with - and apparently still wanting to be with - his wife. Shudder.

Would it be unreasonable for me to ask him not to talk to her in the house? Reason I haven’t asked is I know he’s doing it to get a reaction, which I always did before

Don't ask.

He's doing it to make you jealous in the hope you'll change your mind about the divorce. The more he sees it bothering you, the more he'll do it.

put ALL your energy into moving forward. Why isn't the house on the market already?

Thanks. We have just agreed on financials as 55-me and 45 him for equity and our cooling off period ends 10 may. I think we can only sell the house once financials have been agreed by the judge which might be August time

He’s doing it on purpose because he’s a spiteful bastard. Don’t give him the satisfaction. Just remember it’s one more item on the very long list of why you left him. Be strong and ride it out. He will be gone soon and you will be much happier. X

Op you can sell your house whenever you want, it’s your house. He’s an absolute knob focus on getting away from him and use his shitty behaviour as fuel for recovery. What a waste of air he is. You’ll get peace soon enough

He’s doing this on purpose to rattle you.
Don’t rise to it. Don’t give it your head space. Your new life will be so much happier!! It’s a journey… it takes some time to get there. But you will. And you’ll be so proud of yourself for not putting up with BS.

YANBU, you can't help how you feel. You have a lot of history together and you can't magically switch off your feelings even when you know splitting is the right thing.

He's doing it to hurt you. Every time he does it just remind yourself that there's a good reason your leaving him and you will be free soon

Thank you all, I almost said lets just cancel the divorce (:
I know its not what I want, I do need to manage emotions how I react better. I like the idea of focusing on the future

Oh ok, I didn't know that. What a pain in the arse! Is there anything stopping you putting it up for sale much sooner & completing the sale in August?

Put in headphones and listen to a podcast. Interact as little as possible with him.

Stay strong lovely!!

that's what he wants, but given he's cheated on you loads, he's just after home comforts while shagging around. Keep that in mind. I'm sure part if you still lives him & wishes he would just change & be who you thought he would be before you had kids with him & he cheated. He never will be. He'll just waste your life if you stay xx

This is deliberate, because you had the 'audacity ' to divorce him. Stay strong 💐