AIBU to keep my distance from colleagues after past bullying?

[user8199100]

When I returned to work just over 4 years ago after a long term sickness I was subjected to bullying by some of my colleagues. I never reported it as I didn't think anyone would believe me.
Since then most of them have left and I have a new manager but I still find myself distancing myself from them.
I feel that I work well with them but I won't attend social events and I don't contribute to collections and now I'm worried I come across as standoffish but at the same time I don't want to get hurt again.

I think perfectly reasonable thing to do.

They know what they did. I hope it makes them uncomfortable.

Some people are just nasty so YANBU to keep your distance.

all the people who bullied you left, but you are standoffish with the new people ?

i don't know scared of getting hurt again maybe

You are on the right track.

They treated you like crap, I can assure you OP, you do not need to worry about how you come across.

Keep your distance, protect yourself.

They need to take a look at how they come across and I suggest you try not to worry.

Of course you're scared, it's natural that you should be OP, but something to bear in mind about making friends with work colleagues, is that they are just that, COLLEAGUES and NOT generally long term friends, as you will find if you ever think you have a really good relationship with someone you work with, and then leave. From my experience, before you know it, it's out of sight, out of mind, even with people you worked closely with, and got on really well with. So don't worry about keeping your distance from people, if that makes you more comfortable, at the end of the day, you're there to work, not make friends.

I think it’s ok to be civil not standoffish, you don’t need to be best friends but it’s nice to get on with the people you work with - as you say it’s a different team. You might find these are nice people?

Also, so sorry about what happened in your past. If it even happens again please report it OP 😞

Years ago I was bullied by two women in the office and it left a lasting effect on me. I then transferred to a new location within the same company and the people there were really nice and friendly, but I was in a terrible emotional state from the bullying. It took me a long time to relax and open up to the friendliness of the colleagues there, but twenty years on I have got hard to bullies and will not tolerate anyone who treated me like those two women did.

So, I understand where you are coming from but in time treat your colleagues as just that - colleagues and not your friends - You can protect yourself but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a friendly chat now and again.

You need to speak to your manager and explain what happened in the past