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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How would you change child maintenance?

219 replies

CountessaExplainsItAll · 28/04/2026 16:07

I’d make it direct pay as standard, coming from PAYE wages, like an unavoidable tax which is paid when they are.

I’d make arrears payable over the next tax year. If unpaid, assets should be seized.

I’d increase the percentage of salary paid by NRPs with no overnights significantly. NRPs who do weekly overnights have much higher costs than those who don’t.

I’d stop the reduction for NRPs living with other children they haven’t created or adopted.

I’d make maintenance count towards means-tested child benefits. If the NRP legitimately can’t pay (for instance because the parent is dead) then the state should.

I’d punish self-employed tax evaders more severely (not sure exactly how).

You?

OP posts:
CountessaExplainsItAll · 28/04/2026 18:07

Tableforjoan · 28/04/2026 18:00

So uc give £351 for a child born before 2017
£108.12 child benefit for eldest per month

Then the housing allowance.
Then childcare allowance if you wish to add that.

edit to add

Also if on full benefits or come September regardless that gives children free school
meals so if we add that at £3 per day 5 days a week school days as another government decided minimum cost.

Edited

So £510 + housing allowance + childcare. That’s loads!

OP posts:
CountessaExplainsItAll · 28/04/2026 18:08

hahabahbag · 28/04/2026 18:07

What you aren’t taking into account is that the people struggling tend to be those with ex’s not in jobs with paye eg self employed, business owners or working cash in hand. They can tinker with the rules re paying but ultimately until it’s totally unacceptable to not pay socially people will, just like with drunk drivers, society had to make it unacceptable

I do think we should be far harsher on tax evasion. The number of posters here who tell people to keep their noses out when someone suggests reporting it is absolutely baffling. It damages us all.

OP posts:
Tableforjoan · 28/04/2026 18:09

CountessaExplainsItAll · 28/04/2026 18:07

So £510 + housing allowance + childcare. That’s loads!

Divide by two parents though!

Children living in homes on full benefits are not exactly living it up though are they.

socks1107 · 28/04/2026 18:09

I’d make it direct from wages, no friendly arrangements. It should be linked to benefits so jf the receiving parent gets a large amount benefits should go down ( dh ex wife got a large sum monthly, more than my salary at one point yet because she didn’t work also got all benefits and free school meals, holiday clubs etc etc) and if a self employed nrp lies about income heavy sanctions should be imposed

Sprogonthetyne · 28/04/2026 18:10

CountessaExplainsItAll · 28/04/2026 17:44

I agree with most of that!

I do think payments should be reduced for further (biological or adopted) children though. The first child isn’t more important than a later born one. The parent’s resources should be split equally between their children, just like in a nuclear family.

But people in nuclear families frequently choose not to have more children if the cost would impact the children they already have. You see it all the time on here with people considering if they should hava a 2nd/3rd baby.

The NRP has a commitment to pay for the children they already have, they can then decide if they can afford to have more children on not. It shouldn't be up to the ex to make up the shortfall of NRP's contribution dropping when they choose to have a baby with someone else.

Tableforjoan · 28/04/2026 18:11

For maintenance purposes I’d divide the government value by two and have that as the minimum ever child maintenance.

Then for wages over a certain amount it increases to make sure the child also benefits and doesn’t have drastically different home styles in each property.

Tableforjoan · 28/04/2026 18:12

I also still stand by no reduction for more children. You know what your costs are prior to having more children. Be that still in the original family or in a new one.

buymeflowers · 28/04/2026 18:16

I fully agree with what you say. I think no reduction based on future children, you know what your costs are when you choose to have further children. I think it should be direct from wages and I think like in the US it should be enforced properly ie lose your driving licence if you don’t pay, you can be arrested. I think if you can’t pay in wages you should have to pay in assets. I also fully agree that nursery costs should be fully split proportionally to each parents income.

CountessaExplainsItAll · 28/04/2026 18:18

Tableforjoan · 28/04/2026 18:09

Divide by two parents though!

Children living in homes on full benefits are not exactly living it up though are they.

Oh true!

I think that’s the problem- if 50/50 was mandated, many parents couldn’t get by on half the benefits.

OP posts:
Tableforjoan · 28/04/2026 18:18

I think if you look for punishments.

Then passport would be the one I’d go after.

You can need a car to be able to work in some areas but nobody needs a holiday aboard.

Tableforjoan · 28/04/2026 18:20

CountessaExplainsItAll · 28/04/2026 18:18

Oh true!

I think that’s the problem- if 50/50 was mandated, many parents couldn’t get by on half the benefits.

I don’t think you ever mandate 50/50 to be honest.

Making a parent, parent who doesn’t want to isn’t a safe environment.

There would be huge amounts of neglect I think or people pretending to do 50/50 but not still. Often mums picking up the slack secretly to make sure their children are safe.

CountessaExplainsItAll · 28/04/2026 18:20

Sprogonthetyne · 28/04/2026 18:10

But people in nuclear families frequently choose not to have more children if the cost would impact the children they already have. You see it all the time on here with people considering if they should hava a 2nd/3rd baby.

The NRP has a commitment to pay for the children they already have, they can then decide if they can afford to have more children on not. It shouldn't be up to the ex to make up the shortfall of NRP's contribution dropping when they choose to have a baby with someone else.

I’d agree with you if we were on a system based on paying half of a set minimum figure. But whilst it’s a percentage of salary, that salary needs to be split.

Otherwise what if the NRP has three or four children with different RPs? Should the later ones starve?

OP posts:
CountessaExplainsItAll · 28/04/2026 18:23

CountessaExplainsItAll · 28/04/2026 18:07

So £510 + housing allowance + childcare. That’s loads!

Mad that so many households get this per child AND maintenance.

OP posts:
TakeTheCuntingQuichePatricia · 28/04/2026 18:23

Tableforjoan · 28/04/2026 16:54

Set a legal minimum amount base rate for every child.

Then increase the amount based on the parents earning so the child doesn’t have a 100k parent and 30k providing a hugely different life style.

I wouldn’t lower payments at all for more children. You know you have children before you create more.

Quitting your job and living off investments or a partners wage wouldn’t get you out of your expected minimum payments, they become a forever debt much like hmrc debts it exists till it is paid or you die, it would upon death be a priority debt considered before inheritance.

Also no disinheriting biological children.

I agree with this, other than the inheritance thing which I think is more complicated.

But the main change I'd make is actually making the bloody payment enforceable in the first place. To many NRPs (mostly men) don't pay and no one can be bothered to make them.

CountessaExplainsItAll · 28/04/2026 18:25

Tableforjoan · 28/04/2026 18:20

I don’t think you ever mandate 50/50 to be honest.

Making a parent, parent who doesn’t want to isn’t a safe environment.

There would be huge amounts of neglect I think or people pretending to do 50/50 but not still. Often mums picking up the slack secretly to make sure their children are safe.

Well yes I agree. I think it should be the starting point and the societal expectation though. But too many families can’t afford to live without benefits when they’re in one house, let alone two.

OP posts:
Feelingstressedbutdoingmybest · 28/04/2026 18:25

More like it is in the US, so any arrears are automatically taken from pension lump sums etc.

Whatalunatic · 28/04/2026 18:25

CountessaExplainsItAll · 28/04/2026 16:07

I’d make it direct pay as standard, coming from PAYE wages, like an unavoidable tax which is paid when they are.

I’d make arrears payable over the next tax year. If unpaid, assets should be seized.

I’d increase the percentage of salary paid by NRPs with no overnights significantly. NRPs who do weekly overnights have much higher costs than those who don’t.

I’d stop the reduction for NRPs living with other children they haven’t created or adopted.

I’d make maintenance count towards means-tested child benefits. If the NRP legitimately can’t pay (for instance because the parent is dead) then the state should.

I’d punish self-employed tax evaders more severely (not sure exactly how).

You?

There isn’t an issue with parents on PAYE in a regular job. The issue is the self employed, serial job hoppers, agency workers, those paid cash in hand.

JustAnotherWhinger · 28/04/2026 18:26

The starting point for CMS simply needs to be political will for it to work properly.

Staff it properly. Train the staff properly (I knew of CMS powers that the person training me had never heard of when I started work there!). Allow, even encourage, staff to use the large swathe of powers CMS already have.

Although, the single biggest thing that would help with maintenance is societal change. My ex started paying, and paid flawlessly, when his CO made clear his career would be impacted and people he respected would think poorly of him. If non-payers knew that their mates would snub them in the pub, the five-a-side team would see them as surplus to requirements, their mum would be ashamed of them and no new partner would want them then they’d pay.

CountessaExplainsItAll · 28/04/2026 18:26

Tableforjoan · 28/04/2026 18:18

I think if you look for punishments.

Then passport would be the one I’d go after.

You can need a car to be able to work in some areas but nobody needs a holiday aboard.

I’d add community service too.

OP posts:
CountessaExplainsItAll · 28/04/2026 18:29

Whatalunatic · 28/04/2026 18:25

There isn’t an issue with parents on PAYE in a regular job. The issue is the self employed, serial job hoppers, agency workers, those paid cash in hand.

A lot of posters here think it’s not enough.

OP posts:
JustAnotherWhinger · 28/04/2026 18:30

bigvig · 28/04/2026 17:39

I'd also include receipt of CM when awarding benefits. Make it properly fair all round.

That should only ever happen if the state is going to pay the maintenance then reclaim it imo.

when I was a child my grandparents should have got £64 a week from my father. That was classed as income for benefits despite the fact he never paid. It was crippling for my GPs and not a situation any child should live in.

JustAnotherWhinger · 28/04/2026 18:31

Tableforjoan · 28/04/2026 18:18

I think if you look for punishments.

Then passport would be the one I’d go after.

You can need a car to be able to work in some areas but nobody needs a holiday aboard.

That can already happen. It’s just very rarely done.

CMS have a huge amount of powers - there is just no political will for them to be used.

CountessaExplainsItAll · 28/04/2026 18:32

JustAnotherWhinger · 28/04/2026 18:30

That should only ever happen if the state is going to pay the maintenance then reclaim it imo.

when I was a child my grandparents should have got £64 a week from my father. That was classed as income for benefits despite the fact he never paid. It was crippling for my GPs and not a situation any child should live in.

A PP suggested the money should go into a pot from the NRP, but be paid by the government. Any shortfall is added to the NRP’s arrears and gathers interest.

If we can do it for tax free childcare, why not maintenance?

OP posts:
JohnofWessex · 28/04/2026 18:35

I would suggest that if the CMS was incompetent that would represent a major improvement.

I have had several cases against them upheld by the Independent Case Examiner one of which had a compensation payment of £300 which is very high by their standards.

The ICE Examiners found the CSA very difficult to deal with.

Then of course there is the self employed, nuff said

Hoardasurass · 28/04/2026 18:37

CountessaExplainsItAll · 28/04/2026 16:39

I’m talking about the concept, I already said it wouldn’t work.

NRPs aren’t on the line to pay for 100% of their household costs plus 50% of their ex’s household costs. The child maintenance service website should outline what the contribution is actually for.

No they dont.
The nrp parents pay a % towards the cost of feeding clothing and housing their child/children when they are in the rp care what that % is depends on how many nights are spent with the rp vs the nrp.
The nrp has the ability to work extra and needs fewer clothes, has lower food and electricity costs. Also a nrp who only has 2 nights in 14 can hardly be classed as housing their child