To have DS Christened?

[youcannotbeserious]

Have also posted this in religion, so tell me if I am BU!

I am a (non practicing) catholic. DH is completely agnostic.
My family are VERY strong Irish catholics and it means a lot to them.

Our DS is now 4 weeks old and I would like to have him Christened.... DH would be OK with a catholic christening, I would like it and it would mean a lot to my side of the family....

But, DH would definitely not be OK with bringing DS as a practising catholic...

So, am I being unreasonable to be thinking of having my son christened when we won't really practice the religion?

DCs are christened Greek Orthodox. I'm an atheist, DH is Greek Orthodox in name, raging atheist in practice. DH wanted them christened for cultural rather religious reasons and it made my ILs very happy (made up for us having a registry office wedding)

All three days were lovely, it was a nice way of introducing the Dcs to family members we don't see that often. I can't find myself getting too stressed about the actual words used because, for me, they are just words. However, being christened GO doesn't have the long term implications of an RC one - if you do this where do you stop? Confirmation etc needs the cooperation of the child and I'd find it difficult to actively teach them to believe in something that I don't

YABU. If you don't want tp bring your DSup as a Catholic then don't have a Catholic Christening.

It's a tough one - me and DH had a church wedding to follow tradition and keep both families happy but we're both agnostic and haven't returned to church since, which we actually feel hypocritical and guilty about.

So we haven't christened DD and obviously won't be christening this baby either. I would feel even more hypocritical.

A naming ceremony may not go down well with highly religious parents and inlaws though. My MIL is a devout christian and sunday school teacher and she had a very pursed lip expression at a humanist wedding we were all at recently!

How about you let your ds decide for himself when he's old enough to decide? No parent should pass on their particular brand of religon to their los, let alone the extended family.

BTW the ritual of baptism used to "purify" babies so that if they died they could go to heaven instead of being forever stuck in limbo. However a few years ago the pope abolished limbo (yes, that's right!) so any babies that die without having been baptised can go straight to heaven. Seems ludicrous at best, but that's religion for you.

I think if you both want your ds baptised, then the priest will probably be happy to do it. You could then disappear and never be seen at church again. They won't send out search parties when it's time for First Communion or Confirmation.

If you are comfortable with making the promise to bring your child up in the Catholic faith and then not doing so (and it happens all the time of course), then I really don't think anyone else id going to be actively offended.

It's about you and your husband, and how you feel making the promises that you need to make during the service.

Anyone else in the Church that is. Other people may have different opinions. As on here.

the idea of Limbo was very scary to me as a Catholic primary school child - me and my friends practically lived in the church at school

I haven't read all the thread in detail so apologies if someone else has already suggested this.

My advice would be to see the priest and lay all your cards on the table.

I expect his take on it will be [not in so many words] that they just are happy to have your baby join the church in baptism and as for the attending church afterwards, well they'll see how it goes and there won't be any pressure.

If is unsympathetic or rigid in the way that he sees the baptism, well then - that will help you make your decision.

I can't see the point of a Catholic christening if you are not bringing up the DC to be a Catholic. Surely that is what you promise in the ceremony?

YABU what else will you find yourself doing to please your family - if the baby is christened you'll have pressure for it to be confimed etc etc. You have to remain true to yourself, it'll be less confusing in the long run.

I wouldn't bother with seeing the priest, its obvious they aren't going to turn any potential customers away!

ok, I was brought up as a Catholic (don't practice) dh C OF E.

ds1 we had christened in c of e, without any problems.. vicar at the time knew we didn't go to church but understood our plans have always been to bring him up with knowledge of christianity, will go to church with him when he is old enough to attend sunday school.

ds2, since moved, so we phoned the local c of e church who refused to christen ds2 unless we went to church for a few mths beforehand so the congregation could get to know us. This was not possible as dh away a lot and I was bfeeding at the time and felt a bit uneasy about taking 2 children to church esp as ds2 was sooo noisy a feeder.

Anyway, my dad then came forward with a suggestion. He is now a RC Deacon and offered to baptise ds2 but in a catholic church.
dh and I pondered as we didn't want to promise to bring him up catholic or have to promise to convert, but my dad said most of the christian faiths recognise each others baptisms these days and he sent us a copy of the service he would use (as we also had non religious godparents, well they varied in beliefs) The RC church like one gparent to be catholic (which neatly one is, though doesn't go to Church)

In the end we had a christening that was as non denominational as we could get it.. yes the word catholic was in there once, I can't remember the sentence, but we felt we were not lying when we gave the response, and we ended up having a really nice occassion.

My Dad (who is very religious) amazed us by his openess to baptizing our son and the priest who allowed us to borrow his Church was also very open minded and welcoming, so for us it worked..

btw seashell - Can't believe I am defending them, but the Catholic church has never gone with the idea of limbo.. it's those theologians who put fwd the theory... the Pope finally dismissed it, it was never their policy (something most people don't realise and assume was their belief!!)

YCBS if your local priest is as understanding as MArtha200's Dad then you shouldn't have anythign to worry about.

I am getting DS christened this Sunday, but it was a struggle to get DH to agree to it. He is a very lapsed RC/atheist, whose Dad was a very strict Irish RC (his Dad died when DH was 17, might explain the atheist thing a bit). In the end, DH caved in but wanted DS christened in a RC church. As he is non-practising and refuses to attend, and I am technically Methodist, this was never realistically going to be an option. Finally he agreed to allow the christening to take place in my family Methodist church, where my Dad goes regularly and me and my sibs were christened, and also my nieces. The minister there has been fantastic, so understanding of DH's hang ups, to the extent that if DH can't bring himself to utter any words involving God, then he doesn't have to. (He thinks it would be hypocritical and somehow disloyal to his Dad).
We got married in a registry office because of this but I really wanted to get DS christened properly.

If your local priest isn't understanding, do you have a family one who would be more so?

And, although this might not be the most helpful suggestion, you could try the United Reformed church as they are usually
pretty accommodating.

is this your first baba, ycbs?

i think you'll find in future years that it'll have been nice to have baptised the nipper and perhaps also re-introduce yourself to some catholic customs and rites you may not have thought about for a while.

don't forget, you don't need to get him "done" staight away..there's no rush. our first wasn't christened till he was 18 months..i hadn't been to church other than to the odd christmas/easter mass for ages, but going again was definitely a good thing.

he's six now and i take him and our other two quite often o a sunday morning... can't think of anything more pleasant, to be honest.

a real nice community vibe going on, we go over to the community centre afterwards and it really is extremely nice thing to have in mine and the children's lives.

whether parents believe or not is really a moot point (crosses himself and prays for forgiveness!)...it gives the children a moral compass perhaps not given to them anywhere else, and they can progress through the sacrements as they grow regardless of parents' faith or otherwise.

i'd say you should give it some thought...pofaced talks a lot of sense too.

ditto for other religions too, by the way. jewish, hindu, islamic..i'm sure it all the same kind of thing we get from them...