Dating someone from the past - do you think this can work?

[loveafterlies]

Many years ago I went on a date with someone. We’d met online and had chatted for a couple of weeks beforehand. We went on the date which was a great date. But I wasn’t in a good place and didn’t go on a second.

now it’s been over 10 years and she’s got in touch. We’ve both been in long term relationships since last saw each other and have children.

we live almost 7 hours drive away from one another.
we have been speaking on the phone and texting.. and it just seems easy. I’ve been on dating apps a while and it really isn’t all that easy having conversations with people, trying to find a flow and arrange dates.

Anyway we decided to go on another date. It was amazing. she drove all the way to see me - twice. We just get on so well and it feels really great. We’ve both said we want to see if we can continue this and make something out of it. But neither of us can move as we co parent with our exes. Already she’s planning her next visit. She has slightly more flexibility with her children that I have at the moment.

has anyone been in this situation? I can’t believe all this time has passed and we just click so well. We both said that when we went on the first date, neither of us were in a good place. But now we’re both happier in lots of ways with our children, in our own homes etc. and we just get on so well. She’s so funny and intelligent. It just feels really right. But I’m also quite afraid of getting hurt just because of past experiences

Im a firm believer in the mantra Never go back - to a job you left, a place, a relationship that failed. You look back through rose tinted glasses and the reality is no where near what you hope.

Also long distance is tough and rarely succeeds long term.

You went on one date, it’s hardly ‘going back to the past’. You barely knew this person!
I would say the distance of 7 hours is more likely to make it not work.

It starts off perfectly fine
The distance and everyday stuff begins to take over.
7hrs away...at the start keeps it all very nice and misses out on the daily grind stuff.
I would not bother myself.

The distance is the major issue.
I did go back to someone I’d dated before and for a while we had a great time. Then we didn’t and it was clear he had the same issues that were there the first time. He hadn’t changed as he said he had. He’d just got better at future faking and telling me what I wanted to hear.
I’ve said plenty of times that people are an ex for a reason. And now I know firsthand why.
If you want a relationship one of you will have to move to make it work. Are you prepared to uproot your DC’s? If not then she probably isn’t either.

We only spoke for a couple of weeks back then before dating. But added one another on Facebook where we’ve messaged happy birthday and congratulated each other on different life events etc. we weren’t together. We just met the once. We both have relatively flexible jobs so we can make time to see each other several times per month