I know it’s long, but please read because I don’t know what else to do.
So, I’ve recently moved into a cul-de-sac. My daughter is 9, and the next door neighbour’s daughter is 9. The girls don’t get along, and we have asked them not to play together. However, next door’s daughter and son keep continuously winding my daughter up—calling her names and doing things for a reaction.
When we first moved in, I would bring her in for reacting to them. However, it seems they keep doing it so she gets brought in, while next door’s parents aren’t doing anything about it. The past couple of weeks have been horrendous.
I won’t say my child is completely innocent because I’m not stupid—I know she also causes arguments. However, in next door’s eyes, it’s all my child.
Last week, the son pushed my daughter over and she fell into the door frame, banging the side of her face. She knocked on the door and told the child’s dad, and his response was, “I’m not interested. I’m sorry, but I’m not interested,” and he closed the door on her.
Next, another child on the street gave my daughter a badge. I was there when the girl gave it to her. Later that day, next door’s child said it was hers. I said, “Okay, I’ll just message the other girl’s mum to make sure, as if not, it will be another argument tomorrow that my child gave her stuff away.” It ended up being next door’s child’s, and I gave it back. I said I wasn’t trying to keep it—I just didn’t want to give another child’s stuff away and cause another argument. That got left.
The next day, I saw my daughter walking up the street with next door’s child (the girl) following her and saying things to her. My child is very reactive and was shouting, “Will you just stop and leave me alone?” I was in the garden and heard next door’s dad saying something to my child.
She came in crying, saying she’s sick of it and that he’s always saying things to her and feels like he is bullying her. He then stuck his head around and said, “Is there a problem?” I said, “What do you mean?” He said, “Between these, all they’re doing is argue.”
I said, “I’m sick of it myself. They’re all as bad as each other, but that aside, I keep hearing you make comments towards her, and if there’s a problem, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t speak to my child the way you are.” He then huffed and puffed and carried on smoking.
Today got worse. I let my child play up the street, where she usually wouldn’t be allowed, to keep them apart. My child’s friend came down the street and said my daughter and next door’s child had bumped elbows while running toward another friend, but next door’s child told her mum that my child “smashed” her.
After that, my child came in saying, “Mum, I haven’t even done anything, but if she does something, I’m going to stick up for myself.” He then came out over the fence, looked at my child, and started saying, “You’re a liar. I was just watching out the window, and you weren’t anywhere near each other—you’re a little liar.”
I stepped in and said, “Wow—hang on, who are you talking to?” He said, “She’s telling lies. I’ve just heard her telling you, and I was watching—they weren’t anywhere near each other.” So I said, “Right, okay—so if you were watching, you’ll then know my child hasn’t touched yours, which she’s now telling her mum.”
He then went on to call her a bully while she was standing there in tears. I asked him, “Do not talk to my child like that. I don’t know who you think you’re talking to. Everything your kids have done, I’d never talk to them that way.”
Later, he started again. Next door said, “Your child has my magnets.” I opened the door and said, “What’s the problem now?” He said she’s taken them. My child said, “I haven’t—another girl gave me them.” I said, “Okay, just give them back, and if it’s the other girl’s, she can deal with it later.”
She gave them back. I went to close the door, and I heard him making comments loudly, saying, “She’s a thief, stealing your stuff.” I opened the door and said, “I’m sorry, but she is not a thief. Another girl gave them to her—that’s not stealing. Go ask the other girl’s parents. If she took them directly, that’s different. I’m sick of the way you’re making comments to her.”
Today it’s kicked off again. My daughter went to play with next door but one, and he shouted over telling her, “You’re not allowed to play.” She came back to me, and I said ignore him—it’s not his garden.
She came back crying again, saying the other girls walked away from her, and he laughed at her. Another child told me he did. I pulled him and asked if I could have a word. He said, “No, not interested.”
I said I’m asking nicely to understand why he laughed at her. He pointed at my daughter and said, “Oh, are you telling lies again?” I said another girl told me it happened too, so why is he singling my child out?
It all kicked off, and now everyone is arguing. My partner has had enough and wants to step in, but I don’t want it to turn into a fight because we have to live here.
I’m just so frustrated with how he is treating my child, and I don’t know what else to do. I’ve asked nicely time and time again that he doesn’t speak to her like that.