OP, I completely understand why you are so justifiably angry about this LL. I admire your bravery and I'm one of the first people to say stand up to bullies. I also understand about wanting to set an example to your children about standing up for themselves and being assertive.
But as someone who has experienced bullying I have learnt to pick my battles (and I've been involved in legal action twice - and won - although going through that often doesn't feel like winning)
But there is more than one way to manage a bully.
Sometimes, yes.. you have to take a stand and damn the consequences... other times you can take a big step back and think to yourself.. This person thinks they will get the better of me but I will manage them, so that they do not succeed. This is playing the long game.
Manage them in this context means you think about your end goals. Setting aside how angry they make you... what you want to achieve at the end of this. Whats the best possible outcome for you?
My assumption would be that the best possible outcome for you would be
- to stay in your lovely home,
- To have a better relationship with your LL so that when you NEED something from her, boiler repairs, Plumbing repairs - whatever.. you will be able to remain on civil terms and so will she.
- your children to see that you can have a difficult situation and assert yourself and find a way to solve it.
You don't have to respect her, or like her, you can condemn her, but you can also manage her... so that at the end of the day she does your bidding and not the other way round
That is still standing up for yourself and not letting a bully get to you so that you take a risk that could have repercussions for you.
Respectfully that is not being cowed by a bully or letting them walk over you.That is winning.
I totally understand your anger and wanting to teach her a lesson. She is a stupid person. And unpleasant. But Why not try managing her first?
Your letter is incendiary.. and she'd love that. She'd love to know how angry she's made you. But don't let her goad you, that's you standing up for yourself and staying in control of the situation. I understand that the names etc are jokes et but. The tone is really aggressive and demanding not assertive.
The things you actually want from her are clouded by this language. If she wanted to get you out of the property she could use that letter against you.
It's easier to start softly and subsequently keep raising the volume rather than go in all guns blazing, how can one top that.
The bones are. You would like her to return your property, of course and she was very wrong to take it. You have the higher ground at this stage.
The issue was over the bird feeding/// maybe start with calmly and very civility
"I share your concerns for the welfare of birds and wildlife (horrible) LL but I can assure you I'm aware of RSPB guidelines would never endanger the safety of any wildlife. I understand your issue re bird feeding but having doubled checked " ... quoting RSPB and even enclosing a leaflet which nails it. Say in a calm and polite way. No emotive language.
However, I would like you to return my bird feeders. You took them from the garden without further discussion whilst I was out. My children asked for these items for our new garden and were very excited to have them. They were very upset that someone took things from our garden.They are still unsettled by the move and affects their feeling of security in their new home to feel that things can just be taken away whilst we are out and it would greatly reassure them if the items were returned.
Shall we agree a convenient date for you to return of my items now rather than October as you previously stated. It would save you the inconvenience of having to store them in good condition for the next six months. I know my children would be greatly relieved and I think it would be the kind thing to do. I am happy for the items to be left outside the garden gate on any of these dates next week. Please let me know which would be the most convenient day for you."
Kind Regards.
This is only a suggestion but why not try it as a FIRST STEP. not the final step, just the first step.
What have you got to lose? No court would ever say that was an unreasonable letter, yet you have in writing stated that she entered property without asking and removed your stuff without permission and is witholding them. She will know that. She will know that she cannot goad you into hasty actions. You have retained the higher ground. That is assertive.
The ball is in her court then. She may even return them.She will have to spend mental energy thinking how to deal with it. You will have proved her wrong on all counts in the politest possible way, so she cannot even complain about it. That is a win! If not, you can write again next week and yes recorded delivery is a good idea. She may write a rude letter back, and she will prove herself even more in the wrong.
You can still be angry about it, but can take comfort in the fact that you've shown she can't get to you, she can't stop you taking control of the situation, and you've still got the higher ground and can bring out the big guns and the legal quotes at a later stage. You've only been in the property a short while and if you needed LL help for leaks or boilers or anything else, you've still got wiggle room.
This would be controlling and managing a difficult person. It demonstrates to any court that you are reasonable, and can put across you points without backing down. There is more than one way to stand up to a bully. LLs have a certain knowledge of the law and this makes you look like a very good tenant. she will know that. It will make her treat you differently.
It's entirely up to you what you do next but before you do send the letter previously suggested I do think it would be wise to consult either CAB or Shelter which has excellent resources on LL /Tenant relations and an advice line for RL advice.
Wishing you and your lovely little ones every success.